“I’m glad someone thinks so,” she responded, voice glum. Then she seemed to shake it off, adding, “At least my parents haven’t said I can’t get my master’s, or take this apartment. Yeah, I’m an adult, but you know how it is in a clan.”
Did I ever. I was still battling the weight of unmet expectations from the McAllisters. Some days it seemed as if I could feel their disapproval radiating all the way from Jerome. But I hadn’t really chosen this path, it had chosen me, and now all I could do was attempt to walk it as best I could.
“Well, if anyone tries to give you crap, just tell them the primus supports you fully in what you’re doing,” I said, just as Connor walked back in, carrying two overloaded Sprouts canvas shopping bags.
“What am I supporting?” he asked.
“Your cousin in going to school and getting her master’s and not marrying some random Wilcox cousin just because her parents expect it of her.”
“Oh,” he said, nodding in understanding, “I fully support that. If they give you any crap, tell ’em to come talk to me.”
She grinned, the shadows gone from her face. “I definitely will. Thanks for everything.”
We both murmured words to the effect that it was nothing, but I could tell Mason didn’t think it was nothing. She ducked out after that, telling Connor to be in touch when he was ready to hand over the keys. After she was gone, he said, eyes glinting,
“It’s good to be the king.”
“‘King’?” I inquired, lifting an eyebrow. “Getting a little full of yourself, aren’t you, Mr. Primus?”
“Nah. I didn’t want to be primus, and, despite what Lawrence might say, I don’t really know how good I am at it, but if putting my stamp of approval on Mason’s college plans will get her parents to back off, I’m okay with swinging my dick around a little bit.”
“Hmm,” I said, and pursed my lips. “I say we go home so you can show me how this whole dick-swinging thing works.”
“Deal,” he replied immediately. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Oh, so now we’re in a hurry?”
“Damn straight. Too bad teleportation isn’t in my primus bag of tricks.”
“Nor mine,” I said with some regret. “So I guess we’ll just have to do this the old-fashioned way and drive.”
“Good thing the house is only fifteen minutes away.”
Laughing, we went out, Connor locking the door behind us. As he did so, I couldn’t help feeling a tiny bit sad. Yes, we had a new home to share, and I loved it already. But the apartment had felt like home for a while, too, and now we were handing it over to someone else.
I’d just have to hope she would be as happy there as Connor and I had been.
* * *
The days slipped by, seeming to move more quickly of their own accord, although I would have been more than happy to have them slow down, give me more time. I practiced my meditations at home, Connor at my side. He would hold my hand, and for some reason his touch would make it easier for me to use that strange power to lift myself out and away from my body.
I experienced the thrill of rising above myself, looking down at the dark pine trees from high above, seeing the smooth, narrow roads that twisted through the development, the sparkle of the manmade lakes at the country club. Each time it got a little easier, and I felt a little less drained as I returned to my body. Just three days before the solstice, we drove back out to the shabby little compound in Navajo territory, this time so Lawrence could show me the next step — how to cast my consciousness, now free from my body, into the world of the spirits.
“You know there is nothing to fear,” he told me, every line and hollow in his face etched by the flickering candles inside the house. This time we’d come at night, as he’d instructed, telling us that this sort of work was easier in the quiet, cool hours of the evening.
Well, “cool” being a relative term. Yes, the sun had gone down and the temperature dropped a bit, but it still had to be hovering around ninety outside.
“You have spoken with spirits, and know they mean no harm, even the ones who linger here out of fear or anger or resentment,” he went on. “So you may walk amongst them without doubt or worry. But it is easy to get lost there, and so you must always remember your body, waiting here for you. Remember as well that those who love you also wait for you here, and so do not linger.”
So much for not worrying. But since I certainly couldn’t turn back now, I only nodded, Connor’s hand lying on top of mine, just a gentle pressure to show that he was there. His presence wasn’t enough to distract me, but it was a solid reminder that I was not a being of spirit and shadow, but a young woman who needed to return to her body before too much time had elapsed.