Darkest Before Dawn (A Guardian's Diary Book 1)(21)

“Morning,” he whispered against my ear.

“Woodpeckers!” I shouted without thinking it over.

“Come again?”

“No thanks!” I sputtered as I made a complete ass out of myself and moved away from the woody before I started pecking. “Pecking is bad!” I continued like a dumb ass. Shut up, Emma, just shut it!

I obviously had wood on the brain because I couldn’t look away from where his sweats had a thick bulge showing through the flimsy material. I felt his eyes on my face and could see him smiling with the knowledge that I’d just freaked the hell out over his morning wood. “Sorry about that.”

 “M-uh-huh,” I mumbled.

“Not used to sleeping with men?” he asked.

“I don’t spend the night with them normally,” I whispered and then raised my eyes to his. “I mean I sleep, I just don’t…ya know, feel wood.” Oh my god! Had I just said that?

He threw his head back and barked with laughter.

“Sure, laugh at my expense,” I said irritably.

“You want to touch it?” he asked jokingly, which of course, I didn’t catch until I’d considered actually touching it!

I left the bed, knowing my ass would be exposed. “I need to go home, check on my people. Do some other stuff.” I was rambling. I did it when I was nervous, like when I woke up after a night of debauchery with a deadly, sexual male, like Jaeden. Okay, so yes, this was the first this had ever happened to me, but still!



“Get dressed, Emma, I’ll have Sven bring you to my office when you’re finished.”

“I need to go home,” I replied.

“You can, but first I want to discuss something with you.”





Chapter 11





Once I was dressed, I checked the door and hall and didn’t see Sven anywhere, so I slipped out on my own without looking for Jaeden or his office. I didn’t wait to see if I was followed, or if Jaeden had given chase. I just knew if I stayed close to him, I’d be up shit creek with Mr. Happy Whacker. Who needed a paddle when you had a man who looked and acted like that?

I made it to the shelter and flashed the camera a cheesy grin. Addy met me at the door and threw herself at me. “I was so freaking worried! Why didn’t you respond?” she demanded.

“I was…busy,” I replied with guilt burning in my cheeks.

“You slut!” she said as she pulled back to look at me. “You gave him the V-card?” she grinned hugely.

“Not exactly,” I replied warily.

“I’m confused,” she paused and looked at my rumpled clothing. “Did you have sex?”

“Sorta,” I replied and started towards my room.

“Bitch! Explain how you sorta had sex with him?” she narrowed her eyes and followed closely at my heels.

“He kissed me.”

“Um,” she said as she grabbed my arm to stop me. “I think we need to discuss the birds and the bees.”

I rolled my eyes. “He kissed me down there.”

“Sweet baby Jesus!” she smiled as though the rapture had just come. “And?”

“He, well, he likes full control. I’m not sure he’s an option for a first timer.” I answered her honestly because let’s face it, I knew zero about this shit, and he was a fucking pro.

“Is he a Dom?”

“Yes, no, I don’t know!” I was in so far over my head I was drowning. I scrubbed my hands over my face in frustration as I tried to gather my thoughts. “Look, he was all ready to bang me when the girls were killed, Addy. I don’t have time for guys considering there are rabid wolves out there. If I hadn’t been almost handing him myself on a platter, they might still be alive.” I knew I was rambling, and for some reason couldn’t stop.

“Oh please, don’t give me that bullshit. Those girls went out to try and steal him from you. They took everything they owned when they left. They weren’t coming back, Emma, period. I’ll bet they were trying to worm their way into what they thought was an easy life with Jaeden or one of those hot guys they said he was with. They left us without even a thank you for saving their spoiled, lazy asses to begin with! They deserved what they got for being selfish pricks,” she snapped angrily.

“No, no one deserved to die as they did, Addy. They were torn apart, and Bonnie was raped, and the worst part? I couldn’t tell if it was before or after she was in pieces!”

“Oh, well shit. That’s disturbing…” her expression softened a little as it looked like her thoughts warred between outrage, horror and disgust.

“Exactly.”



“Still, was he huge? Did you go down on him?”

I blinked at the rapid rate of her words and disturbing change in conversation. “I didn’t go down on him,” I blew out exasperatedly and headed to the level where my room was.

“Why not? Need to practice it? We have men here, and I’ve read 50 Shades of Grey, if he’s all controlling, sign me the fuck up!” Her arms were waving in excitement as she hustled to keep up with me.

“You read that book?” I asked.

“Five times already. I can’t stomach that romance shit. You think E. L. James survived the apocalypse? I hope she did, I need more books.”

“You seriously need your ADHD meds,” I snorted as I tried to keep my eyes from rolling.

“Yeah well, so what.”

“Oh look! Squirrel!” I said with a smile on my lips.

“Did he at least get off? You know if you don’t help him out, he gets balls which are blue and actually painful according to Daniel Anderson.”

“You slept with Anderson?”

“Why do you always call people by their last names? It’s disturbing, and no, how do you think I found out about his balls being blue?”

“What the hell did you do to give him blue balls?”

“I licked it, but I didn’t finish it. Kid wouldn’t get done and my jaw hurt. His loss.” She shrugged. “I was in a hurry to get home before Dad found out I’d snuck out. Told him he’d have to be fast, now I know that’s not such a good thing. Lesson learned.”

“Oh, well…slut.”

“Proud of it,” she smiled. “One of us has to be adventurous.”

“I need to shower and then I need a scouting party. I think Jaeden knows where the wolves are, and I want to make sure that issue ends.”

“So, you were going to fuck him? Or did you just part your legs and say hey baby, lick these cobwebs!” She waggled her eyebrows mischievously.

“I don’t have cobwebs,” I bit out.

“No, but you have to be the oldest living virgin left in America. So I have to make fun of you, even if you are my bestie.”

“Yeah…well, scouting party, and don’t get distracted by a squirrel.”

I entered my room and closed the door on her curiously eager face. I slid down it and yes, I thought about his mouth and where I wanted it. Soon. I’d never experienced anything like it, or him, and I wanted what he could give. I just wasn’t willing to let it cost another life.

I headed to the showers and did my business as fast as I could. Once back in my room I decided to dress as if it was any other day, only a day with the living still in it. I skipped the shapeless black fatigues for a form fitting pair of jeans. I shimmied into a slim grey tank top and layered it with a black skull one. I then slid on the few necklaces I had left, and then set to putting on the harnesses for my weapons and gearing up. A quick brush through my hair and a French braid had me feeling a little more my old self.



I left the room without my mask or the black hoodie. It was late summer, and I was tired of hiding. Yes it had worked to protect us, but I wasn’t hunting or hiding from men. I was hunting wild animals. I heard the others whispering as I walked through the shelter, and knew the moment Addy caught sight of me.

“Hot damn! It’s the old I’m-a-badass-Emma!” She whistled.

“Sure, party ready?”

“Honey, if you plan on landing in his bed, I suggest you wear a skirt.”

I shook my head at her. “We are going to the woods. Wearing skirts will just slow us down.”

“Whatever,” she whined.

“Scouting party?” I asked.

She pointed behind me. I turned to find a huge group dressed as I normally did. “No masks today, we aren’t going into town. We’re hunting wolves. If you see a wolf, you shoot to kill. They may look like big dogs, but they’re not. They tore the girls up and it wasn’t for food. We will be setting up bear traps as well, it might catch them. If not, we’ll have more meat for winter. You will go in groups of four, and stay together. The rest of you, stay in touch with each other. Turn the walkie talkies to channel five and check in every fifteen minutes. Got it?” I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them that Bonnie had been brutally raped. I was sure of it, but the whole scene was too improbable.

When they agreed and each group grabbed a set of traps, we headed out. I set out on foot, with the others, but when they went into the woods, I stayed to the fields. When I finally hit the section of woods on the other side, it was only to hear what sounded like grunting coming from one of the many houses there.

The sound wasn’t coming from inside one of the houses though. One of Jaeden’s men had a woman pressed against a tree. Her legs were wrapped around his back as he drove himself inside of her. She screamed with pleasure as he grunted. One of his hands held both of hers above her head as his mouth covered her neck.