Pain flashed across her eyes. "I do understand," she said. She held the gun out to him. "Take it. We each get one."
If he took it, he knew he was making a commitment, not just to go after Grigori, but to stop her if she tried to co-opt him. Could he really shoot her? Really? He searched her face, and knew the answer was no. His moral code banned using his wolf form to hurt others, but killing a woman in cold blood was different...and equally reprehensible. And specifically, her. She called to him in a way no one else had, and he knew he'd give his own life to save hers. Killing her was not an option. "I can't shoot you," he said.
"You can," she said. "I see it in your eyes. You will do whatever it takes to keep yourself from slaughtering anyone else. Your need to keep the world safe is that strong." She leaned forward. "If I were to use my voice to force you to shift and kill, I wouldn't be an innocent worthy of protection, Jace. I would deserve that bullet. I'm not going to sing, but you wouldn't know that yet, so take the gun and keep it, until you know." She held it out again. "Seth's fifth birthday is Saturday."
Shit. The fifth birthday was the first time a wolf could shift. It didn't have to shift, but it was capable of it. With the song, Grigori could force a shift that day. He looked at her suddenly. "He'll use your voice to compel him to shift, won't he? He'll play your song for Seth, and then give him prey to slaughter?" If Seth killed the first time he shifted, it would be almost impossible for him to overcome his wolf's taste for blood after that. He'd become a mindless revenant, driven solely by the need to slaughter.
Tears filled her eyes, but she nodded silently, such genuine sadness in her eyes that he knew what he needed to know: he could trust her not to sing to him. He already believed she would shoot him to save herself, which meant that either way, he wasn't at risk of killing her.
Relief flooded him, a relief so deep that his lungs seemed to expand, allowing him to take a deep breath for the first time in what felt like eons. The weight that had been crushing his chest eased, and his shoulders lowered as his tension faded.
It was safe for him to be around her. Safe.
"Jace?" She searched his face.
If they didn't act now, that little boy would be facing a lifetime of the hell that Jace had already faced. "I'm in."
She stared at him for a moment, and then a wide smile broke across her face. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. For a split second, Jace didn't know what to do. He wasn't used to being hugged, and he felt awkward as hell. She should hate him and fear him on every level.
But when she didn't let go, the heat of her body seemed to soften his resistance. The coldness that had been gripping him so mercilessly since Melissa's death faded, chased away by the warmth she was pouring into him.
Reluctantly, instinctively, his arms folded around her, pulling her against him. She melted into his embrace, pressing her face into the curve of his neck, as if her relief was as great as his. Protectiveness surged through him, and he suddenly understood the burden she carried, of knowing that her voice was being used to murder innocents...including her own sister. That it would be used to turn her own nephew into one of Grigori's blood-crazed disciples.
"No more," he whispered quietly, just to her. "It ends now."
She pulled back, her eyes glistening with tears. "We can't stop Grigori," she said. "He's taken the blood of a vampire, and he's nearly immortal. I just want to get Seth. That's it."
"We'll get him." But as he made the promise, he couldn't help but wonder what happened after that. Grigori had murdered his own daughter to get Seth the first time. What would he do to get him back a second time? Or what would he do to keep him from being taken?
Silently, he wrapped his hands around Abby's, which was still holding her gun. "You have to make me a promise," he said. "If anyone uses that song on me, and I start to shift, you must shoot me." He grasped the gun and pressed the muzzle to his chest, just over his heart. "One shot to end it. You have to swear on your sister's soul that you will not let me be forced to kill again."
Her eyes widened, and she looked down at the gun pressing against his heart.
"I'm an alpha," he said. "No wolf can stop me if I get in a killing frenzy. No one. I'm that fucking good. So, you have to promise. A silver bullet to the heart would stop me, but it has to be in the heart." He paused. "How well can you shoot?"
"I've trained for hundreds of hours. I never miss." She searched his face, and he allowed her to see into his soul, into the blackened, shriveled remains of his soul. He wanted her to argue with him, to say that she could tell he was a good man, one who would never fall down that fucking rabbit hole again. He wanted her to believe in him when he'd already proven that he wasn't worth believing in.
He wanted her to protest, to say that she could see it in his soul that he would be strong enough to resist the song that she knew so well.
But she didn't. Her eyes glistened with new tears, but she nodded. "Okay. I promise to shoot you. Let's go."
Chapter 4
Three hours later, Abby was no longer sure she'd made the right choice. Jace had felt the place to start their search was the last place Seth had been, which was her sister's apartment. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but as they rounded the corner of the hallway that led to the abandoned apartment, Abby's hands began to shake, and she paused. Sweat trickled down her spine, and fear knotted her belly.
Jace, who was already at the door of the apartment, glanced back at her. He frowned, then walked back over to her, even his innate grace unable to hide the pain that shocked his system each time he put weight on his broken ankle. "What's wrong?" he asked softly, his voice so quiet that no one else would hear it, no matter who might be around.
"Nothing." She wiped her hands on her jeans, trying not to notice how much they were trembling. "I'm fine."
He raised his eyebrows. "You're afraid of Grigori."
"He was here," she blurted out. "He was in this hallway, maybe right in this very spot, waiting for you to attack my sister so he could grab Seth. I just-I just feel like he's here now, waiting, just like before."
"Hey." Jace took her hand, pressing her palm between his, a gesture she was already beginning to recognize as his way of connecting with her and letting her know that he was on her side. She took a deep breath, focusing on the strength and warmth of his hands as they dwarfed hers. "I know his scent. He's not here." He smiled. "Plus, he'd never make it that easy, right?"
She swallowed, gripping his hands. "I know, but it just...it freaks me out that he was here, right where I'm standing."
"I know." He pushed a strand of hair back from her face, his touch gentle, so much softer than she would ever have expected from him. "You need to understand something about me," he said softly. "I don't believe in killing. I work hard to teach my pack how to control their wolves. I believe compassion brings out the best in people, not force."
She nodded. "I can tell." She'd felt his kindness the first moment she'd heard his voice when he'd been talking to her grandmother. She knew he was different from Grigori, and from all the others. That was why she'd asked him for help. Never would she have gone near him if she'd sensed any of the depravity or violence she'd grown up around. "But-"
"No." He touched his index finger to her lips, silencing her. "I'm not finished. What you need to understand is that I never confuse compassion with weakness. As an alpha, I've done whatever it takes to keep my wolves safe, including kill those who needed to be killed. I don't do it for pleasure. I do it as a protector, and my wolf knows the difference. I'm stronger, faster, and more ruthless than anyone." His eyes darkened. "You're under my protection, Abby. I will do whatever it takes to protect you from him, and I can do a great deal."
A wave of heat rushed over her, the powerful surge of his energy as his wolf paced beneath the surface. Her heart stuttered in response to the sheer dominance he gave off. This wasn't the shifter who'd gone down on his knees in submission to her grandmother. This was the alpha who had strung together a pack of misfits and made them honorable, admirable, and so strong that no one had dared try to take them over...no one except Grigori. He was pure power, and he was offering it to her. "That's why Grigori chose you, isn't it?" she asked. "Because you're so powerful, right? He wants to dominate you, because you're the only one strong enough to stop him."