Abby looked ashen. "I can't. You don't understand, Jace. I was trapped by Lucius. I can't-" She started to back up, away from the cage. "I can't be trapped like that. I-"
Shit. He held out his hand to stay her, his icy veneer cracking under her fear. You make it so fucking difficult to be cold.
She stopped, her eyes widening. "Did you just say that in my head?"
Shit. Why was he getting intimate with her? He needed to keep his distance, not bind them more tightly. Psychic communication was only for other wolves in his pack, and even then, he didn't use it much, because he didn't want to open those ties too much with the others. Keeping his distance was important for him to do his job. No, I didn't. You're imagining things.
Her eyebrows went up. Liar.
Her voice was like warm sunshine wrapping around him, and he swore. He liked it way too much. So, he glared at her, and turned his attention to Kiernan, who looked pissed.
"My headphones never fail." Kiernan's voice was cold. "She'll be safe from us." He gave a steady glare at Jace. "It's you she must fear. Only you."
Shit. What kind of words were those? The only woman that mattered to him had to fear him. Jesus. He'd become a monster, the antithesis of everything he stood for. He ground his jaw, trying to keep himself focused enough to address the problem. "I don't know if the headphones work, Kiernan. I have no idea if you're reliable or not. There's no way I can trust her life to technology I can't verify."
"I'm a healer," Kiernan said. "I heal. I don't hurt. She is one of my patients, which means I would never risk harm to her." His voice had darkened, laced with the roughness of his wolf. "I work on my patients with my headphones on if the song is playing from upstairs. That is how much I trust them. They will not fail."
Jace swore under his breath. What the hell was he supposed to do? Trust a stranger? He looked over at Abby, and her ashen face. Putting her in the cage wouldn't work. Leaving her with the others wouldn't work. "Fine. All the shifters go into the cage, and Abby stays outside. If the headphones work, then next time you can stay out of it, too."
"Roarke can't be moved," Kiernan said. "It's too risky."
Shit. This was such a fucking mess.
"I'm fine." Roarke didn't even open his eyes. "I want to see if these headphones work. It would be fun to fuck Lucius over by making his song useless."
Respect rushed over Jace at Roarke's response. He had a feeling Roarke was impressive as hell, and he wondered what he'd endured to get Savannah back.
Drake stood up. "I'll carry him." He bent over Roarke, and the injured shifter slid his arm over Drake's shoulder. He didn't even wince as Drake picked him up, but the depth of his pain hit Jace hard on a psychic level. Jesus. The shifter was in serious trouble. He looked over at Kiernan, reading the shifter's expression with more ease. Roarke was dying, despite Kiernan's help.
Savannah stood up, her brow furrowed. "Be careful with him, Drake."
"I am."
She followed the two shifters into the cage, but when Jace turned to go, Abby touched his arm.
"You need to be out here with me," she said. "If you know the cage is between us, you won't feel the urgency to resist."
He could tell from the expression on her face that she was serious. He didn't know how else to make her understand how dangerous he was. Yeah, she'd been right when she'd said he cared about her. He'd denied it and pushed her away to get her to use some semblance of logic when dealing with him, but it hadn't worked. He'd hurt her, but that hadn't made her any more willing to protect herself.
"I don't understand. Why can't you grasp this?" He was utterly at a loss in how to deal with her. He was accustomed to having his decisions respected and followed. He did his best to be fair and honorable, and his pack knew it. Having Abby continuously disregard his warnings made him feel like he was stumbling blind through a hailstorm, getting hammered from all directions with no way out.
She lifted her chin. "Because I know you."
"Do you?" He lightly grasped her hand and drew it to his lips. Unable to resist, he pressed a kiss to her fingertips, then ground his jaw. He touched her index finger to his incisor. "This tooth took your sister's life," he said softly. "The same teeth." Tears filled her eyes, and he felt like the biggest ass alive. "I'm so sorry, Abby. I will never forgive myself for doing it, but I would never, ever survive hurting you."
He released her hand and strode into the cage. He wrapped his hands around the rear bars and pressed his forehead to the cold steel as he faced the wall. He couldn't look at her. He couldn't see the look in her eyes as she recalled what a monster he was. As he heard Kieran clang the door shut behind them, he flinched. He was locked in a cage, just as he had been when he'd been in prison awaiting his trial, with nothing to think about other than the innocent life he'd just taken.
He tightened his grip on the bars, squeezing his eyes shut as he listened to Kiernan explaining proper use of the headphones to the other shifters. Back in a cell again, he was crushed by the memories, that horrific moment when the song had stopped and he'd shifted back to human, staring down at the woman in his arms. The blood. The look of horror etched on her face. The life he'd stolen.
He remembered the shock to his system, the way his body had frozen in numb horror. The scream of anguish from his soul as he prayed that he was dreaming. The cold wash of hell when he realized the blood on his hands was real, and it had been his teeth, his claws, his rage that had killed her. Never again. Never again...
"Put him down," Savannah said to Drake. "Let him rest."
Savannah. Jace opened his eyes in horror. A woman was in the cage with them. Yes, she was a shifter as well, but would his wolf know that? Would the song trigger only to attack an innocent human? Or would it turn him on Savannah? But he couldn't leave Savannah with Abby, in case she shifted. Son of a bitch. Jesus. What was he doing?
He spun around and pointed at Abby. "Don't sing." He ripped Drake's headphones off. "You go with Abby to help her find Seth. I'm not taking this risk. No song." He held out his hand to Drake. "Give me the gun."
"No!" Abby launched herself at the cage and grabbed the bars. "Don't you dare shoot yourself, Jace!"
Drake's eyes darkened. "You're not even going to try to defeat the song?"
Jace looked at him. "Do you have any idea of how deadly I am?"
"Yes."
"Then you don't need to ask." He was alpha for a reason: he was the toughest bastard around...impossible to stop.
"Stop it!" Abby thrust her hand through the bars and reached for Drake. "Give me the gun, Drake. Don't you dare let him kill himself. Damn you, Jace! Why can't you see beyond that stupid blood on your hands?"
"Because it's all I can see!" he shouted back. "Do you want to sing to more people? Do you? Would you sing again to a father sitting with his kids, on the chance he might not kill them?"
Her face blanched. "Don't say that-"
He strode over to the cage and grabbed the bars. "You, of anyone, know what it's like to cause the death of someone who did nothing to deserve it. What if you couldn't control your song? What if you couldn't stop yourself from singing? Would you park yourself in the middle of a crowd and just wait to trigger carnage? Would you?"
Wordlessly, she stared at him, then shook her head. "No," she whispered. "Never."
"Even if you're right that I wouldn't kill you, even if you were right, what about everyone else? Savannah? For all we know, I'd kill Seth. What about them?"
She gripped the bars, tears filling her eyes. "Jace-"
He wrapped his hands around hers. "I'm his weapon, Abby. As long as I'm alive, I can destroy every enemy he wants. He made me into his tool."
"You can practice-"
"So what if I learn to handle it when I'm trapped in a cell? What about when I'm in the field? Under duress? Fighting for my life or yours? There will always be a risk. I'll never be safe." He tightened his fingers on hers. "Tell me I'm wrong, Abby. Tell me that there's a way to guarantee I will never, ever snap."
"You could puncture your eardrums," Roarke muttered, his eyes still closed. "Pour acid in your ears. Shit like that."