He swore and caught her arm. "Hey, I'm sorry." He wiped his thumb over her cheek, and belatedly she realized she was crying. "You're right. I'm not like them."
She wrapped her fingers around his wrist, unable to stop the tears. "Don't take my faith away from me," she whispered. "I haven't trusted a man my whole life, until you. Don't tell me I'm wrong. I need my faith in you. I need to know that there's someone good out there in this world. Do you understand?"
He nodded, continuing to stroke her cheek. "I understand." He leaned forward and kissed her gently, a kiss so tender and kind that more tears threatened.
She closed her eyes, letting his lips drift over her cheeks, kissing away the tears. He cupped her face gently, so gently, his thumb tracing delicate circles along her jaw while he nibbled at her lips. Her soul ached for his touch, for his kiss, for the safety of his embrace, for how he made her feel.
She ached for him.
Chapter 16
Jace continued to kiss her as he slid his hand over her hip, tracing the curve of her body with such a delicate touch it was as if his fingers were no more than a feather whispering over her skin. The turmoil inside her began to subside, calmed by his kiss and his touch, by the feel of his strong body stretched out beside her.
She spread her fingers over his chest again, losing herself in the heat of his presence and the magic of his kiss.
"Yes," he whispered, "touch me. It's okay. Anything you want to do is okay."
After a lifetime of being commanded and threatened, his words seemed to pour lightness into her heart. She slipped her hand behind his head, pulling him closer. He moved over her, deepening the kiss as he settled on top of her, his ripped body pinning her to the cot. She was trapped beneath him, but she didn't feel afraid. Jace made her feel safe, even though she knew he could kill her in a heartbeat if he heard the song. But somehow, someway, she believed he would never hurt her. There was just something about him, an inner strength, a mortal fierceness, and the ache of regret that made him stronger than anything Grigori and Lucius could throw back at him.
She wrapped her legs around his hips, drawing him closer as he continued to kiss her, his lips and tongue a beautiful array of sensuality, lust, and intimacy. She felt as though each kiss was chasing away another shadow, another memory, another horror from her past. Telling him had brought them to the surface, and his kisses were severing their grip on her, allowing her to breathe again.
He cupped her face, drawing back enough to see her as he shifted his hips, sinking more intimately between her legs. "You make me feel like the man I want to be," he said.
Her heart tightened. "All my life, I've been responsible for terrible things happening to good people. To know that I bring good into your life, even if it's just a little bit, is amazing. I didn't know I could do that."
"You do." He tunneled his fingers through her hair, bracing himself with his elbows on either side of her head. "I was ready to die that day at your grandmother's house, and you gave me a reason to live." He grinned as he shifted, thrusting inside her.
She gasped, unable to keep herself from shifting in response. It felt so incredible to be connected to him so intimately, to have him gazing at her as if he wanted them both to know exactly who they were with. Her heart ached, an ache that hurt as much as it healed. "I love you, Jace," she whispered, the words so quiet she barely even heard them. She didn't mean to say them, but they slipped out, pouring out into the space between them.
Jace stilled, his face going blank for a split second.
She caught her breath, suddenly afraid. Afraid she would drive him away. Afraid that by saying the words, by admitting to herself that she'd let herself care, that she was going to find her heart carved apart once again. It wasn't safe to love. She knew that. She didn't want to be there again, loving someone so much that she made terrible choices to protect them. "I didn't say that," she said, trying desperately to recant. "Please, I can't afford that-"
"You gave it to me. It's mine, now. I can't pretend you didn't say it." He kissed her again, deep, fierce, and claiming. As he kissed her, he began to thrust again, slowly at first, then faster, deeper, until the rhythm of their bodies became a thundering percussion of music that filled even the darkest, most hidden, most protected recesses of her soul. He was merciless and rough, but at the same time, there was such tenderness in his kiss and his lovemaking that her heart swelled in response, crying out for him, for how he made her feel, for how much he mattered to her.
The orgasm swept over her with merciless power, driving deep into her heart and shredding the last remains of denial she was clinging to. She arched back, clinging to Jace's shoulders as he bucked against her, succumbing to the same orgasm that had consumed her. His fingers sliding through her hair as he found her mouth, claiming her on all levels as the last shocks of their climax shuddered through her.
Tears burned her eyes as he collapsed on top of her, pressing his face into the crook of her neck. Abby wrapped her arms around him, holding him to her, unable to stop the tears streaming down her cheeks as the truth settled on her. It was too late. There was no going back. She'd fallen deeply, completely in love with this maddening, honorable, broken man who could doom her. If she sang to him, if she broke his soul by making him kill again, she wouldn't survive it...which meant that she would do whatever it took to protect him from her...no matter what the cost.
* * *
He liked listening to her breathe.
Jace lay beside Abby, his hand on her belly, unwilling to shift positions and take the chance of awakening her. After they'd made love the second time, she'd fallen asleep in his arms, tucked up against him as if he were her shield to the world.
She was breathing in a slow, steady rhythm, the kind of deep breathing that told him that she was completely relaxed, trusting him to keep her safe. Wonder rolled over him as he brushed a kiss over her hair, still amazed by how soft and delicate the curls were. She was half his size, so small he could crush her easily, awakening in him a fierce protectiveness.
He'd always been protective of anyone he sensed needed help, but Abby was different. She called to him on a deeper level, as if she could touch the hidden part of him that drove every action he'd ever taken.
The scars on her belly were smooth and hard as he traced them. He'd thought she was a survivor when he'd first felt those scars, but now that he knew all that she'd endured before that point, he knew differently. She was the strongest human being he'd ever met, and her beautiful heart had been ruthlessly crushed until it shouldn't even beat anymore...except it did.
And it beat for him.
His fingers tightened on her belly as he recalled the moment she'd whispered those surreal words. I love you, Jace. She loved him. After all he'd done, after all he was destined to do, she'd gifted him with her love.
Jace rolled onto his back and clasped his hands behind his head, staring blankly at the ceiling while he went over that moment again. In her sleep, Abby scooted closer, tucking herself against him again, not allowing him distance.
Instinctively, he lowered one arm to wrap it around her shoulder, pulling her even more tightly against him. Since he'd killed Melissa, he'd been able to see no truth other than that he was a murderer, and a walking time bomb. He'd known it was his duty to end his life before he could be turned again...but it was different now.
Abby believed in him. She needed him, both to help her, and also to restore her faith in humanity, and men. If he died, if he let that fucking song take him, he would betray her on both levels. If he died or killed because of her song, it would stain her soul, not just his. He could not let the song win, or it would break her.
"I can't do that to you," he whispered, brushing his lips across her heart. "You leave me no choice."
She stirred in his arms and blinked at him sleepily. "What are you talking about?"
He took a deep breath. "Do you remember when you said that maybe I could build immunity to the song?"
She nodded slowly, the sleepy fog fading from her eyes.
He couldn't believe he was saying this, but he could see no other way. "Will you help me try?"
Her eyes widened, and she sat up. The sheet fell away from her breasts, but she didn't seem to notice. "You want me to sing to you?"
"Not here. Not where you aren't safe from me, but...yeah." He met her gaze. "If we're going to go after Seth, and if I'm going to keep you safe from Lucius and Grigori, I have to be able to handle the song. I swear I'll make sure I can't hurt you when you sing, but--"