She squeezed her eyes shut, concentrating on the feel of his body against hers. She focused on his scent, a woodsy scent of soap and spice. She fought to ground herself in him, but she couldn't. Flashes of that night kept slashing through her memories, fighting for attention. "I was asleep," she whispered, unable to hold it in. "My apartment was on the tenth floor. I lived in a secured building. I thought I was safe. I knew I was safe. I-" She pulled back to look at Jace. "I woke up when he was dragging me out of my bed by my hair. I tried to scream, but he'd already gagged me."
Something dark flickered in Jace's eyes. "Bastard."
She tried to pace away from him, but his grip tightened on her, keeping her against him. "Talk to me," he said gently, the softness of his voice a vast departure from the anger flashing in his eyes. "What happened?"
"He ripped off my clothes. I thought he was going to try to rape me, but he didn't. He just stripped me and then tied my wrists over my head and attached them to the chandelier in my dining room." She'd never forget how terrified she'd been, how vulnerable, how defenseless. "He said I had to learn who was in charge of me. He...he shifted and then he approached. He licked my stomach and then..." Nausea churned through her. "He bit me. Again, and again. I screamed, and no one heard me. No one stopped him. It felt like hours, and then, suddenly, he left. He just jumped out my window and left me dangling by my wrists. I thought I was going to die, Jace. I was so scared. I still don't sleep at night. Every time I close my eyes, I see him. I hear his howl at night. And then, and then he was there again today. He's back." She swallowed, fighting against the fear trying to grip her. "He's back, Jace."
"I know he is. But this time, you have me."
"He almost killed you already! He's so dangerous. Worse than Grigori-"
"Hey." Jace touched her jaw, forcing her gaze to his. "Look at me. You're safe now. Do you understand? He doesn't have you."
"But he's out there. He's hunting me. He-"
"He will die if he comes near you." The edge to Jace's voice made chills race down her spine. In that moment, she suddenly saw the ruthless alpha who would do whatever it took to protect those who mattered. Gone was the guilt over her sister's death. Gone was his fear about being coerced into a murderous shift. He was elemental alpha, a deadly predator who could never be stopped.
Her heart skipped a beat, and she stared at him, shocked by the change in him. Suddenly, his shattered ankle didn't matter. Nothing could stop him from protecting her. Nothing. The fear that had been haunting her for so long slipped away, replaced by a visceral awareness of Jace as a man.
He threaded his fingers through her hair, and lightly tugged her toward him. She went willingly, riveted by the depth of power coursing through him. His lips met hers in an instinctual connection. Her entire body shuddered at the feel of his mouth on hers, at the sensation of his body against hers. He embodied such strength, such honor, such power, and he poured them all into her with his kiss.
His mouth was hot and demanding, but at the same time, there was a gentleness to it that wrapped around her like a shield, protecting her from the darkness of her memories and the haunting whispers of her past. It was the perfect combination of fierceness and tenderness, a seduction that reached inside her and cradled the fragile part of her that was barely holding itself together in the wake of her life.
She melted into him, yielding to his kiss, needing his touch in a way that she'd never needed anyone's. After the incident with Lucius, she'd been wary, afraid to trust, afraid to let anyone get too close, especially men, and, more specifically, shifters. But from that first moment she'd heard Jace's voice, something inside her had reached for him, somehow knowing that he was the secret to her healing.
He growled low in his throat, and angled the kiss, deepening it, asking for more, demanding more, and offering more. She slid her arms around his neck, lacing her fingers together as she leaned into him. Her stomach was against his, the first body that had touched her scars since she'd gotten them. A wolf shifter should trigger the fears that fermented inside her, but Jace's heated strength relaxed her, taking away the tension, giving her the first respite she'd had in so long.
His fingers were light against the back of her neck, caressing her skin, as his other arm locked around her lower back, holding her tight against him, offering her both tenderness and strength. She sighed, turning herself over to his kiss. His kiss was relentless, claiming her with a fierceness that made her belly tighten. He was pure male, and she knew he was staking his claim on her...and she wanted him to.
He broke the kiss and trailed his mouth down the side of her neck, tugging on her hair to tip her head back. Gripping his shoulders, she leaned back, breathing in the chills that raced over her body as he kissed along her neck, her collarbone, and then across her chest. Despite the injury to her neck, she felt no pain, either because he was careful to avoid the injuries, or because his touch eased her pain. His kisses were searing heat, promises of seduction, statements of ownership.
Desire swirled through her, dancing across her heart like flashes of lightning during a summer storm, spinning tighter and tighter, until she felt like she was going to snap. His hands went to her hips, spanning her butt, his fingers digging into the soft flesh as he anchored her against him.
She could feel his erection against her belly, and her body responded with fiery heat, dragging her mercilessly into the spell he was weaving around them. He wasn't simply her protector. He was honor, strength, tenderness, and humanity. As strong as he was, she'd seen the anguish in his eyes. She knew parts of him were broken, utterly shattered, but somehow, someway, he had come alive for her.
"Hey," he pulled back, searching her face as he brushed his thumb over her cheeks. "No tears," he said softly. "It'll be okay."
"I was crying?" She brushed the back of her hand over her cheek, surprised to find it was damp. "Sorry, I just..." She hesitated, unsure whether to say it. On some levels, she didn't know Jace at all, but at the same time, she felt as if she saw into his heart in a way no one else did, and that she gave him something he needed.
His dark gaze was steady, unflinching, as he continued to stroke her cheek. "You just what?"
She swallowed, something about his unyielding gaze reaching deep inside her and making her want to connect. "You make me feel safe and treasured," she told him. "I never thought I could feel like that." Her cheeks flushed. "It feels amazing to have you touch me the way you do. I didn't think I'd ever want another man's hands on my body, but somehow, it's different with you." Heat flushed her face when he said nothing, and suddenly she felt stupid for being so open. "Nevermind. Forget it. I-"
"No." He caught her jaw with his hand as she tried to turn away. His eyes were haunted. "I feel it too," he said softly. "I've been living in hell since I killed Melissa. I can't think. I can't focus. I can't see anything but darkness. But when I'm with you, I have these flashes where I can think again, where I feel like there might be a reason why I'm still supposed to be alive." His eyes glittered. "Thank you," he said softly.
Her heart flipped at the depth of emotion in his voice. Somehow, in the midst of their insane worlds, something had connected them. Death, guilt, pain, fear? Horrible things that had somehow dragged them both into the sunshine long enough to breathe again. She nodded. "Don't kill yourself. I need you."
The corner of his mouth tilted up, the first hint of a real smile she'd ever seen from him. "I am beginning to see that."
She smiled too, her body beginning to relax. His arms were still around her, his fingers drawing circles on her hips, through her jeans. Her body was still humming with desire, but at the same time, there was something else. A sense of peace. Of safety. Of knowing that she was in the right place at this moment.
His gaze went to her mouth, and her pulse quickened.
Tension sprang between them. It was an unstoppable hunger, an untamed need to continue what they'd started. She held her breath, her fingers tightening on his shoulders as his palms pressed more heavily against her hips.