Dark Secrets(27)

       
         
       
        

She was smart.

She was capable.

She was in-control.

And she was that way because that was how she had to be.

That was how she got by.

It was how she stayed alive and protected a secret that had men like Vin bow and kowtowing to her- just a nobody, just a girl, just someone who thought on her feet and knew how to throw a punch.

But that wasn't all there was.

If that was all there was, she wouldn't be someone anyone wanted to know. There were other parts of her, parts that she would occasionally show to the very small, very select handful of friends she had accumulated over the years. Namely- Xander, Gabe, Corey, and, more recently, K, along with the guys from the gym she trained at. That was it. That was her circle, her safe zone. And they were that because they all came from equally fucked up backgrounds, making them all need to put on a mask every day to face the world too.

But there were times when that wasn't enough.

They all had their own lives.

They all had their own issues to overcome.

They all had their own masks to put on and peel off, secrets to protect, walls to build.

And they couldn't be the only people she ever felt comfortable enough around to open up, to let loose a little.

Why she felt that she wanted that person to be Danny, yeah, that was beyond her. Especially seeing as she had never even opened up to long-term partners before. They all eventually just got sick of her distance, of her bark and bite, of her refusal to show them any depth. And those were the ones she let into her life in any kind of lasting way to begin with. Which was about three of them ever. None seemed to make it past the year mark.

She didn't even blame them.

They probably wouldn't have lasted two weeks if they were as secretive as she was.

"Oh yeah?" Danny asked, stopping at the top landing of the stairs and blocking her way, leaving her one step below and angling her head up to look at him.

"Yeah," she agreed, feeling an odd calmness settle in her despite it being a pretty monumental moment for her. She should have been anxious, worried, uncomfortable. But she didn't feel that way. For reasons that were completely inexplicable, she felt relaxed, safe, and like she could trust Danny with all the parts of her. Why she felt that way when she had known him all of five days and had spent most of that time trying to avoid him, not get close to him, was beyond her.

"You trust me, huh?" he asked and if she had been paying closer attention to such things, she would have heard a hint of sadness in his voice at that.

"Until you give me a reason not to," she said truthfully, not the kind of woman to sugarcoat the truth or give anything blindly and without conditions.

"That's fair," he agreed, reaching down and snagging the lapels of her jacket, pulling until she fumbled up the last step separating them. "So this is happening." 

"Whatever 'this' is," she agreed with a small shrug.

"You're gonna stop avoiding me."

It wasn't a question, but she answered anyway. "Yeah."

"And you're not gonna bite off my head whenever I try to talk to you."

Again, it was a statement, a purely alpha thing to do that she found herself equally attracted to and annoyed by. "Yes."

"Good," he said, releasing her suddenly and moving to pull the door to the floor open, holding it open for her to step through.

She stopped outside her apartment, putting in the key, unsure what to say. When the door pushed open and she turned back to him, she found him leaning against the wall beside the door, watching her.

"I'm not coming in," he surprised her by saying. He gave her a soft smile at what must have been confusion on her face. "Told you I wasn't coming in tonight when I insisted on walking you up here. I'm sticking to that. If for no other reason than I know a part of you is looking for reasons to not trust me. I'm not going to give you any. Not even if you fucking begged me to come in, baby," he said, pushing off the wall and saying that last bit way too close to her, making her seriously think she was capable of begging him to.

"Ah... okay," she said, brows drawing together.

"Don't worry, I plan to fuck you in all the fun and dirty ways you've been fantasizing about since you met me," he said with a small smirk. "But not right now. Not like some makeshift reward for you deciding to be genuine with me. So I am walking away." He reached out, tucking a bit of her hair behind her ear. "See you at work."

With that, he did what he said, he turned and walked away.

And, somewhat completely dumbfounded, she stood there numbly and watched his back as he pulled the door open and disappeared. Then, she stood there for a long minute even after he was gone, too surprised and confused and maybe impressed to go into her apartment yet.