Dark Promises(38)

His fingers went to her chin. “I am very close to the darkness. Too close. I know nothing of modern women. I will expect complete loyalty from you. Complete honesty. And obedience.”

She forced her gaze to remain steady on his. She would not lie to him. “I will give my complete loyalty to you. I will give you complete honesty. I cannot promise obedience.”

Something moved in his eyes. Something hot and wild. Something that sent heat curling in the pit of her stomach.

“You are afraid of me.”

“Yes.”

“Of giving your body to me. I will not take a woman who does not want me. To do that would be pushing myself completely into darkness. I cannot make it through another rising without completing our binding. It is best you put yourself in the ground now and stop tempting me.”

She took another breath. “I do want you. That doesn’t mean I’m not afraid. I am. I’ve never had sex. I don’t know the first thing about pleasing you or what I’m supposed to do. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you. It means I’m embarrassed and inexperienced.”

She clenched her teeth. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t stand there and convince this man to take her body without love. Without care. She started to turn away from him, but his hands prevented her from moving.

“Look at me.”

She knew better than to disobey him right then. His tone was back to an almost snarl. Her gaze jumped to his, and her breath caught in her throat. She couldn’t read his expression, but her heart stuttered as his thumb slid very gently over her cheek. His touch was at complete odds with his tone.

He was beautiful in an entirely masculine, savage way. She found herself trembling. His touch, as light as it was, as sweet as it was, felt like a brand against her skin. There was a part of her that screamed at her that she was betraying Gary. The man she loved. The man she had planned to spend her life with. The other half of her screamed she had betrayed this man. She’d left him to complete darkness. To dishonor.

“I cannot merge my mind with yours,” he said, and this time his voice was as gentle as his touch. “I cannot risk seeing him there.”

“I know.”

“That means you have to talk to me.”

“I know.” Her voice was a thread of sound. “I’m so scared, Aleksei.” Her gaze clung to his. She knew she was willing him to keep her safe.

He suddenly leaned down and wrapped his arms around her back and thighs, lifting her easily into his arms, cradling her against his chest.

“There will be no going back from this. Once I make you fully mine, there will be no room for anyone else.”

“I know,” she said again. She couldn’t find air to breathe. Those two words were all that would escape through her pounding heart and burning lungs. She circled his neck with her arms, not knowing what else to do. “I’m really, really afraid,” she admitted.

“He will not be with us,” he continued, his green gaze blazing down into her eyes. “Not in your head. Do you understand me? When I am inside you, there is only the two of us there. Not him. You think of me. You say my name when you give me your surrender.”

That was a decree. More, an ultimatum. She recognized it for what it was. She bit at her lower lip nervously. She didn’t think any other man would dare to enter her mind when she was with Aleksei.

“Gabrielle.” He growled her name in warning.

“No one else.” She whispered her agreement.

It was just sex. Hopefully really, really good sex. She was saving him from the darkness. He needed her. He needed her to save him. She’d worked in a laboratory since her eighteenth birthday. She’d been in college at twelve. Then her masters. Her doctorate. She’d never had the chance to be with boys. To date. To experiment. To think she was in love. To know.

He turned and strode across the yard to the building they’d left earlier. His home. A shell of a building. No house. No white picket fence. No neighbors who would drop by for coffee and chat. Just four walls, a roof and a dirt floor.

His resting place was the death of her dream. Her only dream, since she’d been a child and her mother had been throwing things in the kitchen and she’d been under the bed, building a fairy tale to keep from hearing the shrill voice, her father’s soft murmur and then softer laughter. She didn’t understand their crazy relationship, but it was theirs, not hers.

Gabrielle buried her face between his neck and shoulder. At once she could hear the steady, rhythmic beating of his pulse. There was something solid about that beat, something rock steady, as if nothing would ever elevate it. Shock it. Stop it. That pulse would be steady through everything and it could be counted on.