Maybe she didn’t. But she knew what she wanted—what she’d always wanted—and that was Gary. “I don’t care what his last name is, or whose blood runs in his veins, he’s mine,” she declared firmly. “He’s always been mine, and I want him back. His life shouldn’t be fighting vampires. He’s such a genius and I miss him in the laboratory. I want him back there. Once we’re married and we find a home, we can set up a lab and he can research for solutions to all the Carpathians’ problems away from the Carpathian Mountains and vampires and anything else that is monstrous.”
Joie cleared her throat, and Gabrielle’s gaze jumped to her younger sister.
“Just tell me, Joie,” she said. “We’ve always talked straight with each other.”
“You can’t change him, Gabby. Gary is a man who will put himself in harm’s way over and over if it comes to his sense of right or wrong. He has a clear sense of honor, of duty, and that’s why Gregori accepted him from the start—from the very beginning when he first met Gary. Gregori didn’t associate with humans, but Gary already had the same values. He was willing to put himself on the line. Like Gregori, he’s a man of action, and he’s decisive about it.”
Gabrielle shook her head. “They’ve forced him to become like them. He belongs in a laboratory. He loves research and he’s got the mind for it, Joie. You know he does, but more and more they’re pulling him off that work to go hunt the vampires with them. He’s with the prince and Gregori all the time.”
“Because they value his advice, Gabby,” Joie said gently. “You should be proud of him.”
“I am, superproud,” Gabrielle assured her sister, and she was proud of Gary. “He’s a brain. Gregori changed him.”
Joie bit down on her lip, her eyes shadowed. “He didn’t, Gabby. Gregori wouldn’t have changed him—he couldn’t. Fundamentally, Gary is the same man he always was. Gregori looked into his mind and he saw a brother—a man who thinks as he thinks. Gregori accepted Gary because Gary is exactly like he is. Of course Gary didn’t have the skills or knowledge to fight the undead, but he does now. He is Carpathian through and through. You have to be very sure you know him and you accept who he is, not just a small part of him.”
“They almost got him killed. In a way they did get him killed.” She ducked her head and twisted her fingers together. “I was there when he was dying. I was right there. Do you know what he said when Gregori told him he was going to convert him? Gregori explained that Gary was dying. We all knew.”
She pressed a trembling hand to her mouth as the memories flooded in, the ones she tried so hard to keep at bay. She actually felt sick to her stomach. Her lungs refused air and her heart accelerated to the point where she was afraid she might have a heart attack. She would never forget the sight of Gary, torn and bloody in so many places. He’d saved the life of Zev Hunter, lifemate to Branislava of the Dragonseekers. Zev was Hän ku pesäk kaikak—guardian of all and a very needed member of their people. But in saving Zev’s life, Gary nearly died. So close. It had been a terrible few hours. The worst. She never wanted to go through that again.
She wasn’t a healer like some of the women. That wasn’t her gift. She didn’t even know what her gift was, other than a party trick or two. So she could look at a map and locate things. What good was that? Her family—and the Carpathians—said she was psychic, but she wasn’t. Not like Joie, not like Jubal. She was just plain Gabrielle. No one special. But Gary was a gift, and he saw her that way as well. She’d nearly lost him to the madness of Carpathian life.
“He said he could better serve the people as human,” she whispered, her fingers covering her mouth as if she couldn’t say the words aloud. “He was ready to die for them. He didn’t make the decision to become Carpathian. Gregori made it for him.”
There was hurt in her voice. She knew Joie heard it. The Carpathian people had been put above her. Everything in her life had changed when she’d been nearly killed. A member of a human society of vampire killers had stabbed her repeatedly, a vicious, brutal attack. She still had nightmares, although she didn’t share that with anyone, not even Gary. She had been brought into the Carpathian world in order to save her life.
Had it not been for Gary, she would have wished they hadn’t saved her. She didn’t belong. It was that simple. Mikhail, the prince of the Carpathian people, had given her the choice. Live or die. Of course, it had been her own decision to be converted, but Gary was a huge part of that. She’d never had regrets because of him. At the time, terrified and in pain, she had been happy for the chance. Mostly because she knew this day would come. Her day. The day she married Gary.