“I love you too. I have for awhile, but I was afraid. Afraid it might just be a passing moment and then it would fade away. I’ve never loved anyone, and I want it to last forever.”
Tears were filling her eyes. They started to fall. He brushed them away and touched her cheeks with a gentle hand. He leaned in to her again, kissing her once more, passionately and urgently. When they parted she looked up at him.
She did not speak again. She didn’t have to. Her eyes and her heart told him what he wanted to know. He stood from the bench and pulled her up into his arms. He took her hand and she followed him back inside, candle all but forgotten.
They went up the stairs quietly and went down the hall to his chambers. He opened the door; the small fire burning in the room made it comfortable, the low flames dancing across the walls. He took her in his arms again and kissed her, wanting to take it slow so as not to miss any part of her.
She had gone too far to stop herself now. She wanted this, more than she had wanted anything. She knew it might be improper, but she was not a proper girl and she didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was her pounding heart and her burning passion.
He pressed up against her, and she could feel his wanting. He gently carried her to the bed. She had made her choice and maybe it was too late, but she was in love with him. She couldn’t express that until now and hoped she wasn’t making a mistake. Hoping he hadn’t said those things to get her to this moment. She realized that he could’ve had her that day in the meadow and didn’t, and he was letting her lead now. She wanted desperately to believe it was real. As she looked into his eyes, she threw her propriety and her doubts away and let herself get swept up in her passion.
The night went on, her finally giving herself over to someone, him choosing to throw his old life away and make a new one with her. Two promises made, though unspoken, two people choosing their path.
When she fell asleep hours later, wrapped in his arms, the full weight of the world on her shoulders that she felt earlier had mel-ted away. The choice that had to be made, put aside. The only thing that mattered was them.
When morning came the choice she had to make would still be there, but she knew now that she wouldn’t have to make it alone. Her sleep was sound and her dreams pleasant. He never moved from her side, his arms never loosened from around her. As he drifted off he vowed that they would be one from this moment on. He swore his life on it.
***
When he opened his eyes, he was stunned for a brief moment, forgetting what it felt like to have a warm body next to him. His face was in her hair, and he could smell the scent of flowers from her bathing oils. He smiled to himself, not moving his arms from around her warm body. He didn’t want to wake her. He felt refreshed and renewed and realized how good it felt to wake up sober and alert.
For a brief moment, he also wondered if he had done the right thing. He had wanted her so badly he could barely contain himself, but maybe he should have waited, allowed her to make the first move. He chided himself. She had made the move in the meadow, but he resisted then. She could’ve stopped him anytime last night, and he would have respected her wishes and let it go no further, but he had sensed that she wanted him, needed him. She had responded with welcoming arms and body. It had felt good to have someone in his arms again, but this time he knew it felt good for different reasons. He missed making love to a woman, but this time it felt more real, more satisfying, and he understood now what it felt like to share himself with someone he cared about.
He looked over and saw that she was still sound asleep, her steady breathing rhythmic, her long red eyelashes fluttering every now and then with eye movement. He traced the outline of her body with his hand and studied every inch of her pale soft skin.
She didn’t make any moves to rise, so he quietly slipped out of bed and covered her with the blankets. He grabbed his clothes for the day and headed to the washroom. He hesitated in the doorway for a moment or two more, reassuring himself that last night had not been a dream. He looked at her sound asleep and felt his heart skip a beat. He slipped into the bath and when he returned and she still had not awoken, he let himself out of the room silently.
As he moved down the corridor, he stopped and glanced at himself for a moment in a mirror hanging in the main hallway. His body had not changed in the months since her arrival, but his eyes had. They were still a pale blue, but there were no longer circles under them, no longer bags which showed age before his time. He had become the man he had always wanted to be, the king he should have been before now. She had given him hope, given him a reason to want to settle down and be a king his father would be proud of. Last night had just made his resolve stronger, his urge to make amends with the past clearer.