What did I say to that? I didn’t want to tell her I didn’t care, didn’t want to say that the world could go to hell. Ashling was gone, Luke was dying, and I would lose Bres if I didn’t act now. The only one who would maybe miss me if I didn’t make it back was Lir.
Leaping off the high ground, I sloshed my way towards the two gateways. The one filled with light almost vibrated with energy. It drew me, like a child to a shiny object. I found my hands reaching towards that gateway before I could stop myself.
Clenching my fingers I pulled back, and faced the dark gateway. There was nothing particularly evil about it, more an absence of light than anything.
“One last piece of advice, Quinn.”
I turned to look back at Fianna.
“Do not lie. Be honest not only with those you meet, but with yourself and your own heart. Show them the respect they deserve.”
As if it heard her words, my heart thumped painfully in my chest. I thought of Bres in there, fighting for me; fighting for Luke. He and Luke did not like each other, barely tolerated one another when they were working together, with reason it seemed, and yet for me, he would save his rival. Two quick strides, and I was standing directly in front of the darkened archway. The green leaves of the arbutus tree were incredibly vibrant against the black trunk. With one finger, I traced the leaf closet to me, the foliage shuddering under my fingertip.
A rush of air poured out of the gateway, the smell of the ocean heavy within it. Clenching my hands at my sides, I stepped through the arch, and found myself plunged into a raging ocean, the black of night surrounding me.
5
I didn’t fight the waves, just let them pull me where they wanted and within minutes I was thrown by a huge wave up onto a rock-strewn beach, my body hitting it hard. For a brief second, I struggled to get my wind back, and with a gasp, finally drew air.
Blinking, I took me a moment to see the dark shapes surrounding me. The helicopter pilot who’d died trying to fly us off the island, the Banshees I’d killed, the Fomorii I’d killed, and Aednat, her eyes narrowing as she stared at me. Slowly, I stood. None of them moved towards me and I didn’t really know what to do.
“Why are you all here?” I asked, fearing I might already know the answer.
Aednat laughed. “You killed us, so now you must face your deeds, dark Fae.”
My jaw clenched and I gave a nod. “As much as I wish it weren’t true, I’d do it all again, if I had to.”
The rat-faced Banshee, who’d poisoned me and killed Cora, stepped forward. “Truly?”
“Yes.”
Each of them stepped forward, one at a time, and I had to face them. The wounds I’d inflicted were still on their bodies, the blood still dripped. The Fomorii were the most numerous, thirteen in all. I didn’t realize I’d ended so many lives.
Aednat tipped her chin up and looked down her nose at me. “You killed us all. Now feel the pain of our deaths as if they were your own.”
From the first Fomorii I’d killed, right on through to the Banshees and Aednat, my body was suddenly pulled in every direction. The shock of my limbs being sliced into, my body ripped out of the helicopter, lit on fire, gutted, and slammed into with bolts of power, hit me all at once. Then the emotions hit. Fear of dying, shame of losing to a Tuatha, anger and sorrow for those left behind, and even remorse. Those were worse than the physical pain. Sobbing, I held my head in my hands, the emotions more than I could deal with, so I just let them pour out of me.
Combined, the pain in my body and in my heart left me feeling as if I were being pulled apart an inch at a time. I didn’t fight any of it though. I’d done this to them, the least I could do was honour it, respect it.
As suddenly as the pain and emotions had started, they stopped. Laid flat out, the sand was gritty against my tear-soaked cheek. With great care, I pushed myself to my feet, wobbling as I stood.
The ones I’d killed, directly or indirectly, still held a loose circle around me.
The helicopter pilot stepped forward first. “I am satisfied.” A breeze blew in from the ocean and his image was dispersed as if it were made of smoke. One by one they stepped forward, stating the same thing until they’d all gone. Except for one.
Aednat.
“Aednat is not satisfied with your pain and suffering.”
A sharp crack of thunder and the bite of electricity sung through the air.
I spread my hands. “What would you have me do, Aednat? You threatened the life of my sister, you wanted to be Chaos’ host body, you fought against your sister who is a good Queen.”
She snapped her teeth at me. “You ruined Aednat’s world she had made. You should die.”