Dark Destiny(75)
Destiny steepled her fingers and looked pointedly at Mary Ann. “Could you try to be serious? You’re supposed to be a professional. It’s the
way
he looks at me.”
Mary Ann gestured with her hands. Beautiful hands, Destiny noted. Graceful. Perfect nails. The fingers weren’t very long, but they were shapely, like Mary Ann. Destiny always found herself fascinated by Mary Ann’s movements. By her innate goodness. “Please continue, Destiny. I’m certainly intrigued.”
“He looks all goofy at me,” she elaborated reluctantly. “Like I’m beautiful. Like he thinks I’m incredibly beautiful and smart and everything he ever wanted.”
Mary Ann smiled at her. She leaned closer. “Is it possible that to Nicolae you
are
beautiful, and smart and everything he wants? Why is that so threatening to you?”
Swift impatience crossed her face. “I didn’t say I was threatened. Did I say that? He’s nuts to want me. I’m not normal.”
Mary Ann sat back in her chair, her gaze on Destiny’s face. “Normal? What is normal, Destiny? Why should he settle for normal when he could have you? What is normal to you?”
“You know, normal. Not me. Not what I am.” Impatiently Destiny jumped to her feet and resumed pacing, quick, restless movements that revealed more than her short, snappy sentences.
“What do you think you are?” Mary Ann persisted.
“There you go again. You’re using your counselor voice on me. You know very well what I am. I turn into vapor and fly on wings and run on four feet. Does that sound normal to you?”
Mary Ann smiled, a quick gleam of humor. “Actually, Destiny, it sounds very normal when we’re talking about you. Or Nicolae. Isn’t he the same as you?”
“Don’t take his side. He’s acting ridiculous. I’m trying to save the situation here, and the two of you and Velda and Inez have some idiotic idea of romance. Can you really picture me in the middle of a romance?” Destiny waved her hands around in a kind of fury. “It’s absolutely silly. I don’t do that sort of thing.”
“I suppose it’s true if you say so. You’ve never done that sort of thing, but that doesn’t mean you can’t. There’s no reason not to try new experiences.” Mary Ann leaned her chin into her palm and tapped her pen on the desk. “I think of you as very adventurous, Destiny. Maybe you should view Nicolae as a new page in your life.”
Destiny stopped pacing, kept her back to Mary Ann. “Well, he isn’t a new page in my life. He’s been in my life nearly as long as I can remember.” She pushed a hand through her thick mass of hair, lifted the weight of it from her neck.
Mary Ann noticed the slight trembling and sat up straight. “How did you meet Nicolae?” Because that was what this was about. Something in the past was causing perfectly controlled Destiny to pace like a caged animal. Causing her hands to tremble and her soul to reject a wonderful partner.
Destiny’s shoulders hunched slightly. A small signal, but Mary Ann noted it. She watched the younger woman examine a painting on the wall. The silence stretched between them until Mary Ann was certain Destiny wouldn’t respond.
“He came to me when I was a child.” The voice, usually so beautiful, was strangled, a choked whisper of sound. “I might have been six. It’s hard to remember. Time isn’t the same for me anymore. It’s endless and stretches out forever.”
“Is it difficult to remember because it was a painful time?”
Destiny touched the painting, traced the outline of the child. “I prefer not to remember it. I closed the door on that part of my life.”
Mary Ann nodded. She laced her fingers and regarded Destiny over her hands. “That’s a self-preservation technique that abused and traumatized children often have to employ to survive. They have compartments in their minds to safely put things away in so they can move on.” Her voice was without judgment. “Do you associate Nicolae with that time in your life?”
“Nicolae is...” Destiny hesitated, searching for the right word. “Magic. Not real. A dream that can’t possibly be true. He’s like a white knight. The hero in an action film, larger than life and only a figment of the imagination.”
“Destiny.” Mary Ann waited until the other woman turned to look at her. “What would happen if Nicolae was real and not a dream at all?”
Destiny lifted her hand to eye level, held it out for Mary Ann to see. They both watched it tremble uncontrollably. “He could take everything away from me. Everything I am, everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve, to become. He could rip me apart, and I would turn to ashes in the sun.”