“Don’t use the word panic. It’s so humiliating.” She was very aware of his hand at her waist, his fingers splayed wide over her skin. His palm was a brand, burning into her stomach, right through to the hot, wet core of her desire. She shifted so that his fingers came in contact with the underside of her breast. The slight brush of sensation shook her, left her trembling for more. She
wanted
him. Wanted him with every fiber of her being. Her very cells were crying out for him. Yet there was that terrible knot in her gut, that block in her mind.
“I want to disappear.” She murmured the words softly. “Just disappear so I never have to face you again.”
“Destiny. Do not say that. Do not ever feel that way.” His teeth grazed her neck, a small punishment, a seduction of already drugged senses. “I do not need the physical expression of love as much as you seem to think I do. I can wait. Come on. You are not going to lie here crying and shatter my heart into a million pieces. That I cannot take.” It was the first time he had ever deliberately told her a lie. He hoped he would never again need to do so. He needed the physical expression of love more than he needed to breathe. His body was hot and uncomfortable, so hot he was afraid he might spontaneously combust. His features remained impassive, his mind serene, while his belly knotted with frustration.
Nicolae was on his feet, easily lifting her so that she had no choice but to wrap her arms around his neck. Her vivid gaze met his. “What are you doing?” They were locked skin to skin. Her awareness of him heightened immediately.
There was a small silence while their hearts beat out a rhythm of hunger. His gaze roamed her face possessively, dropped to view the lush enticement of her full breasts. “A woman’s body is a miracle.”
“You’re embarrassing me.” Her breasts were embarrassing her, jutting up at him, aching for attention. Her nipples were hard peaks, so sensitive his breath alone sent desire spiraling through her body.
“It is a miracle. You can carry life in your body.” He bent his head to her, giving her no choice but to meet him halfway.
She lifted her face to his, drawn by shared desire, drawn by need beyond her knowledge, as elemental as time. His mouth fastened on hers. He said there was life in her body; if it were so, he gave it to her. She wanted to be everything he needed. She had been inside his mind so many times in the past. She’d lived there, sought refuge there, and she knew him inside and out.
Nicolae. She sent his name fluttering like a butterfly through his mind. A whisper of sound, of aching love. Of commitment. Just the touch of his mouth, his hands, weakened her, sent her soaring. Dreaming.
“Why do you feel such sorrow, Destiny?” He kissed her chin, his teeth scraping gently over her skin. “I feel tears in your heart.”
Because she carried death in her body. Disease. A corruption not meant for the earth. How could she say that to him when he was looking at her with such love? Instead, she swallowed the words and buried her face against his throat to prevent him from reading her expression. “I want to be what you need, Nicolae. I want to be your lifemate.”
His lips were on her hair. “You are my lifemate, Destiny. We are bound together, two halves of the same whole. You feel it. I know you feel it.”
She lifted her head to look into his eyes. “I know it, yes—how could I not? But what kind of lifemate would do what I’ve done to you?” She wanted him to see her. Really see her, not what he wanted to see.
He waded out into the pool, cradling her in his arms. “What have you done to me, little one? Everything I have asked of you and more. You share my mind. Do you see me thinking I have been cheated? I share your mind and what you think is nonsense.”
She tightened her hold on his neck and reached up to feather a line of kisses along his jaw, grateful for his unrelenting loyalty. His absolute faith gave her hope, melted her heart, made her feel beautiful. “I don’t think you’d ever ask anything for yourself if you thought it would make me uncomfortable or unhappy, Nicolae.”
He laughed softly. “I am not the wonder you are making me out to be, Destiny. I want you with everything I am. I can afford to be patient. We have eternity. I may feel the urgency of wanting to unite physically with you, but if we wait, I know it will happen eventually.”
“Total confidence in yourself?” Her eyebrows shot up. She attempted to tease him, wanting to find a way to salvage something of their time together.
“Total confidence in
you,
” he corrected, slowly lowering her feet into the pool.
The water felt amazing. Warm and wet, with tiny bubbles bursting and fizzing over her skin. She sank down into the depths immediately, delighted with the sensation. “This is fed from underground, isn’t it?”