“Do not look so frightened. I will always be at your side. Always. You will be able to protect Lourdes and the others right along with me.” His mouth moved over her cheek, little kisses whispering against her skin. So soft. So compelling. His tongue teased the seam of her mouth. His body was warm and hard, the hand under her chin spanning her throat so that her pulse beat into his palm.
“I’m absolutely terrified,” she confessed.
“Sielamet, I know this is a leap of faith for you, but we can do this. You. Me. Very few people can have what we can. Together. I have so much love for you, Charlotte. So much. And it will only grow. Look into my mind and you’ll see everything you need to believe. I’m asking you to take that leap and believe that I’ll catch you. Let me have you in this lifetime and all the ones to come.”
He made his plea, his lips against hers, so that she felt each word sliding inside of her. Going deep. Her heart beat loudly. Hard. Followed the exact rhythm of his. She . . . wanted . . . him.
“What happens if I agree?”
“I take your blood for the third exchange. You take mine and you’ll go through the conversion. I’ve asked Maksim what happens. Blaze went through it. He said it was tough to watch, terrible on her. He also said if you embrace it, know for certain you choose it, it isn’t as bad. I’ll be with you and taking as much of the pain and fear away as possible, but honestly, it will be tough.”
She counted five heartbeats. Took a breath. Drew him into her lungs. “You want me to do this? To feel pain?”
His thumb slid over her cheek again, traced her high cheekbone and then moved lower to press into the small indentation in her chin. “Absolutely not, sielamet. The last thing any man wants for his woman is for her to feel pain. I would do it for you if I could. I will stay with you every moment and shoulder as much pain as your body allows me, and in the end when I can, I’ll send you to sleep so you won’t feel all of it, but unfortunately, to bring you into my world, I have to take you out of yours.”
She swallowed, visions of horror films rising. “Like a vampire.” One hand slid up the wall and then she circled his wrist with her fingers—or tried to. Her fingers wouldn’t go around his wrist so she just dug in and tried to pull his hand off of her throat.“Not like a vampire. Are you going to lie to me and tell me it wasn’t erotic when I took your blood? You participated, Charlotte. You wanted what I had to offer because you recognize me. You know what I am to you.”
Looking into his eyes—eyes that were twin blue flames—she knew she was lost. She was his. But what he wanted . . . What he demanded was terrifying. Giving up what and who she was to become something else. She shook her head. “I’m not that brave or strong.”
His lips slowly curved into a smile. His mouth was beautiful. Tempting. When he smiled it was even more so. The smile crept up to warm the blue of his eyes, turning the flame hotter and brighter, dazzling her. “Charlotte, you were willing to face down a serial killer with a can of wasp spray you had in your purse. You stepped in front of your friend Genevieve, and you tried to protect me, a total stranger to you. Do not tell me you don’t have courage. Only a woman of great courage would do the things you did.”
“Or a crazy one,” she muttered, unable to pull her gaze from his sinful mouth.
He brought his mouth down on hers with exquisite gentleness. A barely there brush. A whisper of a caress. Heat spiraled through her instantly, and she needed more. He gave her more, his tongue teasing along the seam of her mouth, and she opened for him, needing his kisses. Melting into his body. There was no denying he belonged to her. Not when he kissed her. Not when his arms drew her so tightly against him, nearly crushing her, yet at the same time offering his protection, his shelter. Making her feel precious and cherished. And wanted.
You will still be you, Charlotte. You are incapable of becoming a vampire. No woman of the light could possibly do so.
The words didn’t matter as much as the emotion pouring into her. His emotion. Intense. Real. Hers. He was hers. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t altogether human or that he lived in a world of violence. She lived there, too. She’d lost her brother and her mentor. Genevieve had lost a boyfriend and her beloved grandmother.
Charlotte linked her fingers behind his neck and held on, kissing him back. Giving him everything.
Yes. Her breath hitched. It was a momentous decision. One she knew she couldn’t take back and it was terrifying, but being without him was even worse. But not yet. I have to make certain I still take care of Lourdes. And I’m still very, very scared.
I am as well, he admitted. Stay with me through the conversion. Don’t shut me out. No matter what happens, stay open to me. Give me your word, Charlotte. I need to know you’ll give that to me.
She pulled her head back and he leaned down to rest his forehead against hers, his blue gaze drawing her in. Asking her this time. Wanting her to give him that as well.
Charlotte sighed. “Will I die?”
“It will feel like death, I’ve heard. Your organs will change. It isn’t easy, sielamet. That I can’t take away, no matter how much I want to be able to do it for you. But if you really make this choice, in your heart, in your head, when the time comes, it will be easier. Accepting it. Letting it happen and not fighting it.”
She knew he was trying to reassure her, but the unknown was still frightening. “I have to go see to Lourdes. I’ve left her alone with Genevieve too long. And we have to sort out where Genevieve will live.”
“For now, she can live in this house. That will allow her to care for Lourdes during the day should she have need. Eventually, when I know Lourdes and the other children can take it, we’ll bring them into my world. They’ll be much safer that way.”
Charlotte shook her head and tried to step back, but the wall was right behind her. “You can’t make that decision for them. They have to do it when they’re adults.” She wasn’t even certain what “it” entailed, but it felt huge. Changing one’s entire species. Living differently. She didn’t even know what that was. Another terrifying thought occurred. “You don’t sleep in a coffin, do you? Because I am so not doing that.”
“No. But we do not go out in the sun. That can burn us. We can handle early morning and early evening. Every Carpathian’s sensitivity is different, but as a rule, we can’t take the sun. We must sleep during the day, and we’re at our most vulnerable then. I’d guess your three stalkers from Paris are vampire hunters and they kill anyone they suspect, vampire, Carpathian or human. They aren’t in league with Fridrick.”
“How do you know?”
“I’d know. We can scan minds, and if a vampire has taken over a human and made him into his puppet . . .” He trailed off, his blue eyes going wide. “Those men with Fridrick were human. I didn’t feel them, not even when I scanned their minds, yet clearly they were under Fridrick’s control.”
He stepped back, keeping his hands on her shoulders. “We have to find out what they were doing in the tunnels before we drove them all out. Maksim just told me that when he went back under the city to find out what they were doing with all their experiments, everything was destroyed. All the equipment. The cages. Their control room with their computers. It’s all rubble. We need that information or we’re only guessing at their intentions, and now it’s lost to us.”
“I can get it for you. If there’s rubble down there, I can still ‘see’ what it was used for by touching what’s left of it,” Charlotte said. “I’ve been doing that kind of thing since I was a child. Of course I never actually told anyone but Genevieve and the people at the psychic testing center in France, but I figured I had plausible deniability if anyone found out. I’m really good at it.”
Tariq stared down at her for a long time, his expression a mixture of awe, approval and pride. The way he looked at her made her feel warm inside. She’d give a lot to see that look on his face often.
“You would be willing to go down in the tunnels and sift through the rooms with us? It could be very ugly, sielamet. You saw what they did to Liv. Reliving others being tortured can mess you up in ways—”
She put her hand on his arm to stop him. “I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t think I could handle it. I touch antiques all the time. I’ve run across torture before. I know it can be ugly, but if this helps get rid of Fridrick and any of his friends, I’ll help in any way I can.”That earned her another kiss. A long one. One she could take with her when she went into a vampire’s lair.
10
Charlotte stuck the tip of her finger in her mouth. It hurt. Not bad, just a dull, irritating ache. She’d looked at it several times closely to make certain there wasn’t a splinter left in from the carousel horse, but there was nothing but a tender, red spot. Sucking on it didn’t help. In fact, the moment it was in her mouth, it throbbed annoyingly.
She’d spent the rest of the evening with Lourdes, well into the night. She wasn’t in the least tired and neither was her niece—or any of the children. All of them had slept through the day. She’d put Lourdes to bed, had a wild dawn with Tariq and then slept in Lourdes’s bed, only to wake with Tariq in his bed. Now she was being taken to an underground maze below the city where Fridrick and his boss, Vadim, had tortured men, women and children.