I get up from the bed. I lean my elbows on the banister and stare out the huge windows. It’s really pretty outside.
“Would you like to go take a walk? You must be tired of staying up there,” Garrett asks from where he’s working on his laptop. It looks like he’s set up office down there.
I glance out the window. It looks like a beautiful day. “That would be nice,” I say and go to the cupboard to get my sandals. I think about changing out of the blue dress and maybe putting on jeans and a shirt. It would cover more.
“You coming?” Garrett asks from behind me.
I glance back at my clothes and decide to stay in the dress. It’s just a walk. “Let’s go.”
When we reach the lobby Stan moves to open the door for us. “Afternoon Mr. Macht, Miss. Marshall.”
We greet him back and them I’m outside. There are a lot of people on the sidewalk. I didn’t see them from upstairs. Garrett takes hold of my hand and leads me across the road. We walk a while in silence, but he never lets go of my hand and I don’t pull back.
I don’t know how to explain it, but his touch is still something I need and my body craves. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been brainwashed to need and crave him, or if I really care about him.
I watch him as we walk. I take in his dark hair. There is a breeze ruffling it lightly. He shaved yesterday and that makes him look even younger. “How old are you?” I ask when I realize I don’t even know his age.
“I’m twenty eight.” He smiles down at me, looking pleased that I asked him a question. “Justin is twenty seven, that’s why people tend to think we’re twins. Andrea wasn’t planned and came along ten years later, but she’s the favorite by far.”
We walk along a path. There are other people walking, some are jogging. The atmosphere is peaceful, not something I expected from New York.
“What is the one thing you always wanted to do?” he suddenly asks me.
I’m so at ease I don’t think and just answer, “I’ve always wanted to go to Vancouver. We would’ve-” I stop when I realize what I’m saying.
He raises an eyebrow at my abrupt stop. “You would’ve what?”
“Never mind.” I try to pull my hand free but instead he holds me tighter. He stops walking and I have no choice but to stop as well. His eyes are intense on me and I cave. “We were busy with a road trip when you took us. Our next stop would’ve been New Orleans and then Vancouver. Each of us picked a destination.”
Garrett starts to walk again. He leads me to a bench along the path and we sit down.
He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and then he looks back at me. “You keep saying I took you.” My eyes flash to his, not liking one bit where this is going. “Warren took you. Bill and Warren kidnapped you. I just happened to be there for my sister. Warren could’ve chosen any group of girls, but he chose you. I admit I did things I’m not proud of. If given the chance I’d do everything differently.”
“What would you do differently?” I look out over the park, avoiding his eyes. The man certainly doesn’t have a problem with eye contact.
He takes my hand and pulls my arm through his. He weaves his fingers through mine and covers my hand with his other hand. “So many things. For one, I would’ve tried to let you go. I wouldn’t have scared you shitless to have sex with me. I should’ve let you go.”
I feel tears pricking behind my eyes, remembering the first time we had sex and what he said to me afterwards. “You were never leaving. It was all a lie to get you to spread your legs. The fuck was bearable, but you need more experience. I can only imagine how mundane you’ve been in bed, I mean you came for the first time today. That’s got to suck. Your future master will want someone who can please him.”
I never felt something so amazing like that, and then afterwards he made me feel so used.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he says, still holding my hand captive between his own.
What’s the use of fighting this? If he wants to talk about that time, then we’ll talk! “I’m thinking how you fucked me the first time, how I had my first orgasm and then how you told me I was pathetic in bed.” The anger I felt back then lights up inside of me. I turn my body to him and face him head on. “Do you know you were the third guy I ever had sex with? I don’t just sleep around. I had sex a couple of times, not even a full ten times! There’s nothing wrong with that but you made me feel…,” I take a deep breath trying to find the right words, “you made me feel used and insignificant. I never thought there was something wrong with me, until that day.”