The look on Austin's face slowly transformed into something more serious. "Dare … I think-"
"Mr. A! Can you come here?" A young man interrupted Austin. For some reason, Dare was glad. He wasn't sure he was ready for what Austin had to say.
"I need to show you something," the kid added.
Austin sighed. "Yeah, Marco. I'll be right there."
"I'm going to go sit." Dare nodded toward the wall. He walked over to a row of about ten chairs. All of them were empty except for one. A boy who looked about sixteen sat toward the middle. Dare almost went to one of the end chairs to sit, but something made him head straight for the young man.
He had brown hair and wore a T-shirt and jeans. His elbows rested on his knees as he looked down at the ground.
Dare's insides twisted and turned. "Mind if I sit down?" Dare asked him.
The kid shrugged. "Free country."
He took the seat beside him. "This is a pretty fun prom."
Another shrug. "It's all right, I guess." Oh yeah. This kid one hundred percent reminded him of himself.
"My name's Dare." He held his hand out. The kid finally looked up, looked at Dare's hand and then at him.
"What kind of name is Dare?"
He paused for a moment before he replied. "The kind I chose for myself. One that makes me feel good. Makes me feel like the person I want to be."
The kid's eyes went wide, as though he hadn't expected that answer. That's when he finally took Dare's hand and shook it. "That's tight. I'm Alexander. That doesn't feel like me." His eyes darted down, and Dare's heart went out to the kid. To Alexander.
"I get it." He leaned back in the chair. "I used to feel the same way. For a long time, I didn't know who I was. It was too scary to think about, or I had more important things to worry about-like where I would sleep or what I would eat."
Alexander's head snapped up, pain etched in every line on his face that he was too young to have. Alexander was him.
"But you don't have to worry about that stuff now?" Alexander asked.
"No. It's hard to forget sometimes. Like tonight-I was scared to come here. Scared because it would remind me of my own childhood that I wanted to forget. I thought I was over that, but I guess in some ways it will always be with me. That doesn't mean I don't live a good life, though. I have a job I love and good friends." He had Austin. "See the guy over there with the red hair, dancing with that group?" he asked.
"Yeah," Alexander replied.
"That's my friend Austin. He works here. I hate even saying it because it's not a job to him-this place is his heart. His soul. He would do anything to help someone else. He's like no one I've ever known before. I never thought I would have someone like him in my life. I never thought I would be that lucky, but I am, and you will be too."
Alexander nodded. "I got new foster parents. They're the ones who showed me this place. … They're real nice to me, but I don't wanna get real close, ya know? I don't want to get used to them, that way it's easier when they send me away."
Dare ground his molars together. Fisted his hands. Had to fight back tears. He used to be scared of the same kinds of things. Hell, he still was. He was afraid to lose Austin. It was one thing if they were just friends, though that would have killed him too. But Jesus, he wasn't sure he could handle it if he let himself admit what he knew in his soul-what he'd likely known for years-and have Austin decide it wasn't what he wanted.
But he couldn't very well tell Alexander that, could he? He wasn't good at this stuff. Austin would know what to say. Austin would know how to help.
He glanced up at Austin who gave him a huge smile and waved when he really needed Austin to get over to him and save him.
"It's hard … being afraid. I spent a lot of years that way but … " Dare looked up at Austin, who was still looking at him. Who smiled at him again and damned if that smile didn't untie the knots inside of him. "It's normal to be afraid, but you can't let it run your life. You can be cautious, but it's important to let yourself be open to possibilities, to open up to people, to let them in, otherwise you risk losing the chance to be loved."
His words were true for Alexander, yes, but Dare knew they were true for himself as well.
"Is that what you did?" Alexander asked him.
Dare watched Austin dance ridiculously with a group of kids. Watched him drop his head back and laugh, and he felt that laugh in his chest. Felt Austin's happiness as if it were his own. "Yeah … yeah, I did."