Dare You To(17)

 

Why now? What had changed? Could he handle it? And if he couldn't, what would it do to their friendship?

 

He knew one thing he couldn't handle and that was losing the man beside him.

 

"You're looking at me funny. Why are you looking at me funny?" Austin asked, snapping him out of the crazy thoughts that hadn't stopped plaguing him for weeks.

 

"Because you're funny looking," Dare teased, and Austin rolled his eyes. It was fucking crazy but one of his favorite things was making Austin roll his eyes at him. "Come on. Let's go into the water."

 

The truth was, he'd been thinking about this trip for a week. He'd gotten a board for Austin and the suit, not sure why in the hell he needed Austin on the water with him so badly, but knowing he did.

 

There had been a part of him that hadn't expected Austin to come … but another part that had known he would.

 

He didn't expect Austin to actually surf today. That wasn't really what this was about-it was just the being out here that was important.

 

Austin stalled, looked toward the water and back at Dare. "You really expect me to do this, don't you?" he asked.

 

"Not if you don't want to. I don't want to push you into anything, but I'd like you out there."

 

"Okay," Austin replied, and then the two men headed for the water. Dare attached their ankle cuffs and then they lay on their boards and paddled into the ocean. The saltwater always felt cleansing to him, like it had the power to wipe everything else away.

 

They didn't go out far, just enough so that Austin could practice getting up on his board.

 

"Remember what we talked about," Dare shouted toward him. "Watch me!" He waited for the perfect moment, and then Dare was on his feet, steadying himself so he could ride the waves he loved so fucking much. He felt the same adrenaline he always did out here, the same passion … like he could do anything. If he could conquer these fucking waves, there was nothing he couldn't do.

 

 

 

        

          

        

         

 

His heart pounded, blood rushed through his ears. This right here, being out here was the best fucking feeling in the world. He would never tire of it, but like it always did, the wave ended.

 

When he finished, he turned around and paddled back out toward Austin who clung to his board. "Come on, we need to paddle a bit. Feel the waves underneath you and then you try."

 

Austin nodded at him, and then the two men paddled. "Let's do this!" he told Austin, and then they did. Dare crouched on his board, and Austin tumbled into the water.

 

Dare had known that would happen. It had to happen. Still, fear nearly strangled him, seeing Austin go down. He made himself do the same. By the time he broke the water, Austin was there and he was … laughing. It was full of adrenaline and passion and everything Dare loved about the water. Maybe it wouldn't last. Austin might never want to surf, but at that moment, he was ecstatic. Electric. Fucking beautiful.

 

Over and over, they paddled out into the water and tried to get Austin on his board. They took breaks as not to exhaust themselves but every moment they could be on the water, they were.

 

It was hours later when they washed up on the shore and lay side by side in the sand, water washing over their feet. He'd known the question was coming before Austin asked it. Probably before they'd gotten here, and he also probably knew this was where he wanted to answer it. "What's your real name, Dare?"

 

"Dare," he answered because it was true.

 

A pause … and then … "What's your birth name, Dare?"

 

This time, it was Dare's turn to pause before … "Ellis." He fucking hated that name. It would never be him. But he also couldn't keep it from Austin any longer.

 

"Dare fits you better."

 

"I know."

 

Water trickled over them again, a little higher this time, but neither of them moved. He knew Austin wanted more, and there was actually a part of Dare that wanted to give it to him, because it would feel so fucking good to let that shit out. He needed to.

 

"Those kids at the center? Some of the ones you counsel? I was them, Austin. I lived with my dad-Ellis Sr. I had no clue where my mom was-only that, according to him, she was 'a stupid bitch who could rot in hell.' He would often be gone for days at a time. When I was fourteen he just never came home. I waited a few weeks but he just … never came home. I spent a couple years on the streets after that, using showers and closets from places like the center. I saw him once down at Skid Row. I don't know what the fuck I was doing there, but I saw him. He looked at me, really fucking looked. He was gone, you could see it-drugs, booze and who knew what else-but he recognized me. I know he did. He looked at me and said, 'You stay the hell away from me. Stop haunting me.' And that was it for me. In that moment, I knew I would never be like him. I wouldn't be Ellis. I'd make something of my life. I'd experience everything and I would be someone better than him, and that's who I became. That's when Dare was born."