We didn't really need four bodyguards, but it was the only way Claudia could see to get us a wolf who would shift for me at the hospital if I needed it, without letting Richard know that none of us trusted him to take my beast in an emergency. Graham was my wolf in the hole, so to speak, and Ixion got to come along because Claudia preferred all the guards to be in pairs. If we were pretending, we had to make it good pretend.
"You're going to wear yourself out, Anita," Richard said.
"Then I'll wear myself out," I snapped, and knew that I snapped, and didn't have nerves left to care.
He pushed away from the wall, and walked toward me. He reached out, as if he'd hug me, or comfort me.
"Don't," I said, and kept walking until the window made me stop and turn around.
"I just want to help, Anita," he said.
"Pacing helps," I said, not looking at him. Why couldn't he understand that I just wanted to be left the fuck alone? Micah understood it. Nathaniel had wanted to come, but shapeshifting so early had exhausted him. Once you hit animal form you usually spend between six and eight hours in it; if you shift back early it comes with a price. If he was going to be any good tonight he needed rest. I'd left him tucked in with Damian, so they could both feel better before nightfall.
Richard touched my shoulder as I went past. I jerked away from him and kept on walking. If we could have figured out a way to bring Damian with me, we would have. He helped me be calm, and I needed it. But vampires do not travel well in daylight.
"If you don't calm down," Richard said, "you may call your beast. You don't want that, not here."
I stopped and glared at him. "It would take care of the problem though, wouldn't it?"
"You don't mean that," he said.
"The hell I don't."
"Ulfric." It was Travis, from his corner of the wall.
Richard turned to him.
"Ulfric, she's burning off her nervous energy by pacing."
"I know that," Richard said in a less than friendly voice.
"If you make her stop pacing, then where will the energy go?"
Richard opened his mouth, shut it, and nodded. "You've made your point. I guess it's making me nervous to watch her pace."
"Then don't watch," Travis said, as if it were the easiest thing in the world.
Richard drew a deep breath, and said, "I'm going to get some air. I'll be right outside, I promise."
I paused in the pacing to say, "I know you will."
He nodded, and he walked out. When the door was shut behind him, Travis said, "Thank God. One of you that nervous is enough for a room this size."
I looked at him. "Is Richard that nervous?"
Micah laughed. "Yes."
I hugged my arms tight. "I guess I'm so nervous that I didn't notice."
"You're entitled to be nervous," Claudia said from near the door.
I nodded, but not like I believed it. There was a knock on the door. I jumped, and turned toward the door, my fingers digging into my own arms. I wasn't hugging myself now, I was clinging, as if my fingernails were digging into that last piece of rock ledge before you fall screaming into the abyss.
Graham opened the door enough to stick his head in, and said, "The doctor is here."
"Let him in," Claudia said, and her voice held tension. Was I making everyone crazy with nerves?
Dr. North came in, with a glance at Ixion, still by the door. "Your men are making the nurses and patients a little nervous. Could they come in the room?"
I looked at Claudia. She was the one in charge. She nodded, and sent Lisandro to open the door and invite Graham and Ixion inside. Graham just found a piece of wall to hold up. He gave me a nervous smile that I think was meant to be comforting. Ixion scowled at the entire room, and didn't seem to know where to stand. The room was getting a little crowded.
"The window, Ixion," Claudia said. "Not everything that hunts us comes through doors." We weren't really in that much danger from direct attack, but it gave the man somewhere to stand that was far away from the bed and whatever we'd be doing. Though if there was a pelvic exam coming up, then everyone who couldn't be the father was leaving.
When Ixion had settled against the window, Dr. North looked around the room. "Do you want this discussed in front of everyone?"
"You just had me bring two extra people inside, doc."
He smiled. "I mean, maybe you'd want some of them to go to the cafeteria."
I sighed, and shook my head. How could I explain that if the news was bad enough I might need one, or all, of my support staff? I couldn't, so I didn't. "Just spit it out, doc, okay? The suspense is getting to me."
He nodded, adjusted his glasses. The door opened behind him, and Richard came in. "Did I miss anything?"