She grabbed my hand and covered it with hers. "You're one of the strongest, bravest people I know. You don't need to decide right now, but just know, you will need to decide at some point."
"I know." My shoulders slumped as I brought my knees to my chest. "I feel like an idiot. I'm so embarrassed, Stace. It's one thing to have rumors spread about you, but it's an entirely different thing to have them be true. At least people can speculate and assume, pointing their fingers and passing judgments." I focused on the wall in front of me, burning my eyes into the tanned-colored paint. "But then I'd be able to prove them wrong, show up with William somewhere, and broadcast our love, shutting everyone up. But this … I can't cover it up. The engagement's over, I'll be moving out, people will know. They'll know the rumors were true."
"Yeah, they will." She shrugged her shoulders. "But who cares? At the end of the day, it's your life. More stories will be written; more gossip and rumors will be said. In five years, it won't even matter."
I wrapped my arms around my knees and bowed my head. "Well, it matters now though. I hate how people know who I am, and think they can write stories about me and my life, and how they even pretend to care just to make money off me."
"You never wanted to be in the spotlight anyway, Mac." She soothingly rubbed her hand across my back. "This is a good thing. They'll see that the engagement is off and it'll be the end of their cash cow."
"Are you calling me a cow?" I smirked, curling my lip in amusement.
"I'll call you whatever it takes to make you smile." She grinned.
"You're such a bitch."
"But I'm your favorite bitch."
We laughed and she leaned in to hug me. Laughter felt good. It was the first time in two days that I'd been able to and having Staci by my side was the best comfort I could've asked for.
"Any chance you're looking for a new roommate?"
"Well … I was thinking of finding someone to sleep on my couch and dirty up my dishes. So, I guess you're in luck!" She smirked, and I wrinkled my nose at her. "Of course," she said genuinely, then added, "Stay as long as you need, okay?"
"Thanks, Stace. I appreciate that."
We hung out and watched TV together, doing nothing much at all. It was perfect. It helped distract me and for a while, I forgot about everything.
I DIDN'T FORGET long though. As I walked out of the hotel Monday morning, I was swarmed with cameras and paparazzi bombarding me with questions and comments. I called ahead of time for a cab so I could escape them as fast as possible. A couple of the hotel employees pushed them away and yelled at them to leave, but they followed me until I was in the cab and finally took off.
"That's something I could never get used to," the cab driver surprised me by saying when we finally made it a safe distance away.
I breathed out and sunk deeper into the seat. "Yeah … you and me both." I leaned against the door and closed my eyes. I can do this … I can do this …
I had no idea what to expect once I arrived to work. I hadn't spoken to my boss or assistant or even checked my email. I had every intention of walking in and not letting my personal life affect my professional life.
I paid the driver and let myself out. The sidewalk was crowded with people walking to work, the sun was shining brightly over me, and the air had a nice warm breeze to it. Yes, I can do this.
I walked into my office confidently with my head held high. I knew the glances and whispers were about me, but I wasn't going to let them get to me. I was here to focus on work.
"Mackenzie!" I cringed the second I heard Laura's high-pitched nail-scraping voice. "My office. Now!"
I dropped my purse on the desk and adjusted my shirt before walking through the glass doors. Her office was stunning, always bright and welcoming-the complete opposite of her.
"Yes?" I slowly shut the door behind me and stood in front of her, waiting for her to lecture and probably fire me.
She slammed a newspaper down on her desk, facing it toward me. It was a new article I hadn't even seen yet. I read the headline. ‘New York's Fashionista, Mackenzie Hewitt from Boxy Magazine, caught in a cheating scandal!' Underneath it was the same pictures from the initial article and more gossip written below that.
I wanted to die.
Just kill me. Anything, I pleaded with God. My cheeks heated, embarrassed and ashamed of having to stand in front of my boss-someone I looked up to immensely-with my dirty laundry airing for all to see.
"Now … usually I say there's no such thing as bad press-" She stood tall with her arms crossed and her legs parted. "-but this may be my exception."
"Laura, I am so sorry!" I cried. "I had no idea they were running that story, no idea why they ran that story, and I swear-I'd never jeopardize the magazine's reputation."
"Is it true?" Her question startled me. My eyes went wide as I looked at her intense glare.
"Partially," I stated. "At the time they took those pictures, no."
She swallowed. "I see."
"Laura, please … I swear I won't let this affect my work. I'll be focused one hundred percent." I was beginning to panic. My palms were sweating and my heart was pounding in my chest at the thought of getting fired.
"Mackenzie, relax." Her voice turned soft, but her eyes remained tense. "I just wanted to know what we were getting into. I will make sure all employees sign a waiver to protect your privacy."
"Really?" I gasped, on the verge of tears at her reassuring words. "Oh my god. Thank you!" I clasped my hands over my mouth, surprised she didn't tell me to leave and never come back.
"But the minute this affects the quality of your work, we'll be re-analyzing your position." She was back to her stern, don't-mess-with-me tone.
I nodded frantically in complete understanding. "Yes, of course. You won't have to worry, I promise." I gave a small smile in return, confident and reassuring, as she dismissed me from her office.
I could barely wait to get back to my desk and get to work. I needed the distraction.
"Good morning," Chelsea greeted over-enthusiastically. I watched as she set her things down and walked toward me.
"Morning," I said back, wondering if she was going to ask me about the rumors, too.
"How was your weekend?" she asked, setting a cup of coffee down in front of me and smiled.
I narrowed my brows at her. She wasn't that dense, but perhaps she was waiting to see if I brought it up first.
"I've had better," was all I offered in return. I grabbed the coffee and took a sip. "How was yours?"
"Busy." She smiled. "I emailed you all of your phone messages from last week, including the ones from the New York Post." I swallowed in return. I hadn't even glanced at my email or checked my voicemails since last Wednesday. "Also, the assignments I worked on and the ones due this week." She smiled one last time before turning around and returning to her desk.
"Thanks," was all I said. I was behind on returning blog comments, setting up blog posts, and checking emails. I wasn't going to waste my time worrying about the newspaper or what people in my office were probably saying about me.
I plugged my headphones in and went to work. The voice of Adam Levine helped keep me calm and distracted most of the day. By the time it was ready to go, I hadn't even realized eight hours had flown by.
"Mackenzie?" I heard Chelsea call out right before I was about to walk to the elevator.
"Yeah?"
"You have a call."
"From who?" I asked, guarded.
"Mr. Lancaster."
I swallowed nervously, knowing I had to get it over with eventually. "Okay, put him through on my line, please."
I sat back down at my desk and answered, "William … "
"Mackenzie, finally," he breathed out in relief.
"What is it?"
"You need to come home. We need to talk."
"We'll talk," I reassured him. "Just not now. I need some time."
"All right. I'm flying out Tuesday. Can we meet up Friday night?"
Of course he is. "Sure. I'll come around seven."
"Great. It's been quite quiet without you here."
I forced the tears back as I heard the pain in his voice. I still loved him. I would always love him, but I knew it wasn't enough. "I imagine it has," was all I could say back. We said our goodbyes and I walked away feeling sad and lonely.
As I walked into the office, I noticed people hushing every time I went past them. They quietly looked at me-watching me-as I exited the building. It was bad enough it felt as if my life were crumbling before me, but now it was on full display for everyone to watch.