"Oh my god, Mac … I'm so sorry."
I shrugged although she couldn't see me. "It's over. William wasn't the man I thought he was and Alex lied about knowing who I was before we met at dinner that night."
"He knew?"
"Yup … " I said, exaggerating the p. "He said he realized it was me the morning after. Then he told me William pays people off to keep their mouths shut-to keep his reputation clean-and that his late wife didn't die from cancer." I let out a long breath. "Everything was a lie."
"Holy shit … " she breathed out.
"My thoughts exactly." Even I was still trying to wrap my brain around it.
"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked softly. "That's a lot to take in."
I rolled over on my side, staring at the plain, cream-colored wall. "I don't know," I said honestly. "I need a few days."
She sighed in response. "I'm so sorry. If you need me, call! I'll be right there."
"I know." I smiled. "You always are."
After hanging up, I curled my body into a ball and sunk into the oversized comforter. I needed to clear my mind, erase this day. I just wanted to sleep. Sleep it all away.
Chapter Twenty-Six
I woke up to a completely dark room. The sun had set and covered the sky a dark blue. It took me a minute to remember where I was, but then I felt the cool comforter against me and remembered.
I was in a hotel room, alone.
A knock on the door startled me, making me jump up into a sitting position. I looked at the clock and saw it was past nine. I had slept most of the day and hadn't really eaten either. I turned on the light and slowly made my way across the room. Another knock came before I could answer it.
"Who is it?"
"Concierge, ma'am. I have your luggage. I looked through the peephole and saw a suited man standing next to a cart with my Louis Vuitton suitcases. I unlocked the door and let him in. "Evening, ma'am. Where would you like me to put your bags?"
I pointed to the other side of my bed. "Over there is fine, thank you." I watched as he grabbed two of my bags and placed them on the floor. He walked back to the cart and grabbed the last one, putting it next to the other two. Just as he turned around, I realized I didn't have any cash on me to tip him. "Crap, I'm so sorry. I don't have any money-"
"Oh, no worries, ma'am. It's been taken care of." He smiled and began walking toward the door.
"Oh … okay. Well, thank you." I walked him to the door and saw him out. I looked around the quiet room, feeling alone and scared and really unsure of what to do next. I knew I needed some time. Time to figure this out. Time to figure myself out. Time to really come to terms with how much my life was changing.
I grabbed my phone and saw that Alex had messaged me a half hour ago letting me know my things were being delivered. I sent him a quick text back thanking him. As much as I was upset with him, I couldn't help but appreciate how he always came to my rescue. Still-it didn't change anything for me. My trust for him was gone.
I ORDERED ROOM service and fell asleep watching shitty infomercials. I woke up Saturday morning sometime before the sun rising and the moon fading. I had no energy to do anything but cry. Cry for the mistakes I've made, cry for the life I was leaving behind, cry because I didn't know what else to do.
This last month's been emotionally and mentally draining. I couldn't even grasp what my next step was right now. I knew I needed to make plans to move, to cancel all the wedding arrangements, to end all ties with the Lancasters-but I didn't even know where to start.
Knowing people were reading the article about me-about my personal life and the assumptions they had broadcasted-made me sick. I was humiliated and had no one to blame but myself.
I clicked through the TV channels, not finding anything to keep my interest long enough to help me forget. I ended up turning it off and sinking back into the covers. I wasn't ready to face anyone or anything yet.
I woke up to a knock on the door. The sun was fully shining through the blinds, capturing my attention on the clock. 3:39 p.m.
Shit. I slept all day.
The knock came again, reminding me why I woke up in the first place. I threw the covers off and walked through the bedroom area and into the living space. "Who is it?" I called out.
"Room service, ma'am."
I narrowed my brows in confusion, knowing I hadn't ordered anything. I peeked through the hole and saw a waiter with a cart of food. "I didn't order any food," I said through the door.
"It was ordered on your behalf, ma'am. Eggs, bacon, toast with jelly, and pancakes. Butter and syrup on the side."
I sucked in my lower lip, hesitant at first, but then opened the door. "Who ordered it?" I asked, but I already knew.
"A Mr. Alexander Lancaster, ma'am." He smiled in returned.
I took a step back and let him wheel the cart into the room. He took the covers off the platters and told me to enjoy. I thanked him and walked him out.
The food smelled amazing, the aroma of maple and bacon capturing my senses. I grabbed my phone and turned it on, noticing a text from Alex. You need to eat.
I rolled the cart to my side of the bed and sat down, putting a plate on my lap as I shoved a piece of bacon in my mouth.
How do you know I haven't? I texted back. I forked some scrambled eggs and layered it on my toast. A new text came in just as I finished the entire piece.
Because I called and checked your room service history.
I wasn't sure if I felt irritated or happy he was checking up on me. I wanted to be mad at him, hate him. I was upset that he knew I was going to confess everything to William while knowing he had lied to me. I was upset with William for lying to me about everything-about our entire relationship, thinking he was one person and turning out to be completely someone I didn't recognize. And mostly, I was upset with myself.
Well, you can stop checking up on me. I'm a big girl, I decided to text back. I needed to do this on my own, without my heart getting in the way. I needed to pick up the pieces of my life and somehow put them back together.
I can't stop, Mac. Let me come see you. Please, he responded. I placed my plate back up on the cart, suddenly losing my appetite at the thought of Alex's pleading voice. I knew what that voice sounded like, what his face looked like while saying it. He was intimidating, demanding, and bossy as hell. But he had a vulnerable side to him. The side that had made me fall for him in the first place.
I can't do this right now. I hit send and turned my phone off. I wasn't ready to deal with anything.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I stayed in bed the rest of the night switching between dozing off and crying. It was the first time I really wished I had my mom. Throughout all our struggles and the let downs, my heart was breaking, my life was turning upside down, and sometimes, a girl just wanted her mom.
But I didn't have a mom.
The hotel phone rang, startling me from my self-induced sleep coma. The clock flashed 10:25 a.m., and I knew I had slept the entire night away. I reached over and grabbed it. "Hello?"
"Good morning, ma'am. We have a woman here requesting to see you, but there's been a block for all visitors on your account."
A woman? "Who is it?"
"A Miss Staci Millard."
"Oh … yes, you can send her up."
"Of course, ma'am."
"Thank you."
I braced myself for what was to come. I'm sure she had called me a hundred times since I had turned my phone off, but I just wasn't in the mood for anyone's pity. Hell, I was sick of my own.
Five minutes later, a knock on the door announced Staci's arrival. I peeked through the hole just in case and saw an anxious, worried Staci on the other side. I opened it up slowly, waiting for the ambush of questions and demands.
"Oh … my … god … " she drew out slowly. "You look awful."
I waved my arm out, motioning for her to come in. "Well, by all means, come on in."
"Sorry," she said, curling her lip. "I just mean … "
"I know what you mean." I shut the door behind her. "I'm a mess."
"Well … " She shrugged her shoulders. "That's why I'm here!" She wrapped her arms around me and engulfed me a big bear hug.
I pulled my arms around her and hugged her back. "You didn't need to come," I offered, pulling away. "There's not much anyone can do anyway."
She looked at me almost offended. "I've been calling and texting you nonstop. I was worried."
"I'm sorry." I shrugged, defeated.
"I'm only here to be with you, Mac," she explained. "For the support, to help you forget, to help you make plans, whatever you need."
I walked back into the bedroom area and sat down, patting the spot next to me so she'd join me. "I don't know what to do, Stace. I mean, I know what needs to get done, I just don't know if I have the strength to do it."