"Goodnight, Mac," I heard him say as the bed dipped and he stood up. I tried to mumble a goodnight back, but sleep took over and I was helpless to respond.
Chapter Twenty
I woke up to my alarm screaming at me, flashing that horrific 5:45 time. Oh, god … Why, oh, why did I let Staci talk me into those damn shots? I quickly hit snooze and rolled back over. I remembered all the shit my head was going through the day before, remembering exactly why I decided to drink last night in the first place.
I wanted everything to be numb, to forget that my head and heart were a mess. The thought of hurting William ached deep in my chest. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but I knew I could never be everything he wanted me to be. Alex being in the picture had shown me that and now I was starting to think it was obvious the whole time-I just didn't want to see it.
I slid out of bed and stumbled toward the bathroom. Everything was blurry, but once I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and freshened up, I felt much better. I needed to shower, but my stomach was growling-food and coffee first, I decided.
My steps had halted before I made it across the room. Alex was sitting in the corner, staring intently at me. He was silent, his jaw tight, and his eyes intense. Had he been sitting there all night?
I blinked, rubbing my eyes to make sure I was actually seeing him. After last night's drinking binge, it wouldn't be that far-fetched to think I had imagined it. But I wasn't. There he was, watching me as I stood frozen staring at him.
"What are you doing?" I finally worked up the courage to ask. I was still in my bra and panties, but his eyes stayed glued to mine.
He finally stood up and walked toward me, my body heating with each step closer. He brought a hand to my face, gently caressing my cheek. He kept his eyes glued to mine before he leaned in and rested his forehead against mine. My chest molded to him, our bodies pressed into each other.
I placed a hand over his, keeping him against me. I was afraid he'd leave again and this time I wasn't sure I wanted him to.
"Mackenzie … " he whispered, sending a harsh shiver down my body as his breath vibrated over my skin, "you remember … " he said simply, my heartbeat pounding harder in my chest. "Please tell me you remember." His words were soft but so powerful. They were filled with hope and agony, and I could no longer hold it in.
I nodded before responding, "Yes … " I exhaled and continued, "I remember, Alex."
"How much?" he asked, leaning back to look at me.
A small smile escaped my lips, knowing I was finally able to tell him what he has wanted to hear for weeks. I swallowed and said, "Everything. I remember everything."
He clenched his eyes closed, exhaling, and gripping my hip with his other hand. He pulled me in, our bodies firm against each other. I felt his racing heartbeat against my body; it matched the rhythm of my own. He was just as nervous, scared, and anxious as I was. And for the first time since finding out who he was, I didn't want to push him away. I didn't want to lie to myself anymore. My feelings for him were strong-too strong to fight any longer.
"Kiss me," I whispered, his eyes opening as soon as he heard my words.
His eyes burned into mine, his silence unnerving. I could see the struggle in his face, the questions running through his head as he took a step back. And then, just as quickly, he stepped toward me, catching me off guard by covering his mouth over mine. He placed his hands on my cheeks, pulling me into him as my hands clung to his arms.
His lips tasted like heaven. Soft and greedy. I moaned in his mouth, his tongue moving with mine as he deepened the kiss. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my body up and wrapping my legs around his hips. My arms went around his neck as he clung to me, our mouths never separating.
He spun us around and began walking with my body pressed firmly against him. "What are you doing?" I broke away just long enough to ask.
He captured my mouth again, continuing to walk out of my room and down the hall. "Taking you to my bed … where you belong." I didn't protest, rather I ground my hips against his, feeling just how aroused and ready he was. "Jesus … " he growled as I circled my hips, pressing the inside of my thigh against his cock.
I couldn't get enough of his mouth, his lips, his tongue. I was completely under his spell, captivated by how bad I wanted this. Every movement, lick, kiss was pulling me deeper into him. By the time we made it into his room, I was mesmerized. My body was on fire as he fisted my hair, pulling my head back. I inhaled deeply, needing to catch my breath, but as soon as I did, his mouth found my exposed throat. His lips brushed against the soft part of my neck, just below my ear. I felt his breath vibrate against my flesh, making my body tremble at the thrill of his hands and mouth on me again.
"God … I've missed the taste of you, Mac. So fucking delicious … " he growled, pressing my back into the wall. I adjusted my neck, giving him full access to any part of me he wanted. He kissed up and down my neck, trailing down to my collar bone and over my shoulder. I clung to him like air, needing everything he was giving me.
"Alex … "
"Yes, sweetheart? What do you need?"
"Naked … " I breathed out. "I need you naked." I felt his breath vibrate against my lips, chuckling in amusement.
"Not yet, baby. I have plans for you."
I moaned in frustration. "No … fuck me, Alex. Fuck me now. Then, fuck me later. I want it all."
He kissed me deeply, pressing our hips into each other, letting me feel how hard he was. He pushed us off the wall and walked toward the bed, laying me gently down on the mattress. He pulled his shirt over his head and began unbuttoning his jeans, pushing them down. He knelt down in between my legs, spreading them wider.
"Please tell me you're sober," he said in light amusement. "Because I can't bear the thought of you not remembering … "
"I remember, Alex … " I said, genuinely. "It just took me awhile to come to terms with it."
I wasn't thinking of anything other than him-of us. My heart was beating for him, and I was done fighting it. I needed him as much as he needed me.
"Thank god," he growled, crawling up my body in his boxer shorts and rubbing his hands on my arms. He pulled them over my head, securing them in one of his fists. "It's more than the sex with you, Mac. It was always more than the sex," he whispered, cradling my face with his other hand.
My eyes were locked on his, a small smile forming on my lips as I kissed him. "I know. I can feel it."
He covered my mouth again, this time deeper and with so much more meaning. He brought both of his hands down, wrapping me in his arms and flipping us so I was on top. I bent down and kissed him, his hands curling around my back and unbuttoning my bra. I sat up and let it slide off, throwing it on the floor.
"Jesus Christ … " He pulled me back down to him, one palm covering my breast and the other hand wrapped firmly around my neck. "You are so beautiful, Mac. Every part of you." I moaned as he pressed his hips into mine, rubbing the hardness of his cock against me. "Every fucking part, sweetheart. Even your feisty parts." I felt him smile against my mouth, but I was done with talking. I needed him inside of me.
I pulled away and shimmed off his hips and down his legs. I looped my fingers in his shorts and pulled them down and off, flinging them in the air behind me. "You won't need these."
"You're sexy when you take charge." He grinned, putting both hands behind his head. I watched as he stared at my lace panties. He looked down and nodded, motioning for me to take them off.
However, I had different plans. I grabbed his cock in my hands and squeezed lightly, stroking him up and down. A whimpered cry escaped his throat, his head tilting back as my hands covered him. I bent down and licked up his shaft, circling my lips around the tip and pulling him all the way into my mouth.
"Fuck … " His hands fisted my hair as his hips jerked in response, filling me deeper. I loved the taste of him, so fresh, so Alex. I moved my mouth up and down, licking, sucking. I wanted him, all of it. I couldn't get enough.
I gripped him in one hand, rotating up and down as I continued circling my mouth and tongue around him. I could feel his hips tense as his cock hardened in my mouth. He was close.
Before I could continue, his hands gripped my arms and pulled me up. "Not in your mouth, baby." He looped his fingers in my panties and pulled them to the side, exposing my wet and ready pussy. He slid a finger down my slit, feeling just how ready I was. "I love how greedy your pussy is for me, sweetheart."