Dangerous Temptations(28)

     



 

Helena joined me again on stage and asked, "I believe I speak on behalf  of the Coalition and everyone here tonight, thank you for sharing your  personal experience with us, Mackenzie. I've worked with many children  and families, and I know it's not easy reliving something like that. Is  there anything else you'd like to add?"

I looked out into the crowd and saw Alex again. He winked, a smirk playing on his lips as confidence radiated off him.

"Thank you so much, Helena. Yes, I would actually." I wanted to do this.  Even if all those people out there judged me for it, I needed to do it.  "As I've mentioned earlier, I basically grew up homeless. We traveled  city to city, just trying to survive. It wasn't easy. I was taught how  to steal. Not only that, but I was damned good at it. I'd steal money,  food, clothes. I'd sit out on the streets and panhandle money … some  weeks, we made over five hundred dollars. Those were the weeks I'd be so  excited. I thought, ‘this was it! We can afford to find a place to  live!' But my mother soon ripped those dreams from me when she'd tell me  we were moving to a different city again. On nights when it was really  cold, she'd find a cheap hotel, and I'd finally take a hot shower and  sleep in a warm bed. Those were nights I wished never ended. Nights I  wished I'd never wake up because my reality became too hard to bear. I  didn't stay in school long enough or consistently, and I couldn't  graduate from high school like all the other kids my age did. Not only  did I lack basic nutrition and constitutional rights, I didn't see a  dentist until I was twenty years old, and I didn't have my first  physical until I was eighteen when I found a free clinic." I inhaled;  knowing what I was about to say next was something I never talked about.  Not even to William. My heart pounded in my chest, nerves building up  inside me as I continued.

"One night, my mother decided to rob a convenience store. We were hungry  and thirsty and had no idea how long it'd been since our last meal. We  were traveling again with no destination in sight. My mom was diagnosed  with bipolar disorder years earlier-from a psychiatrist a shelter on the  east coast was able to provide for her-and was off her medication  again. I begged her not to do it, knowing there was always a risk, but I  didn't have much fight left in me." I closed my eyes for a moment,  pushing back the tears.

"She managed to grab some drinks and chips before running out. She threw  them at me and said she was going back in. I begged her not to. I said  she could have it all if she were that hungry. The fire in her eyes told  me nothing would convince her. She quickly ran back in and this time  the clerk was prepared. He pulled a gun on her, but since she wouldn't  leave like he demanded, he shot her. I remember screaming and running  inside, holding her head in my arms as she took her last breath. The  clerk dropped the gun and just stared at me, shocked that he had pulled  the trigger. I screamed and cried, knowing there was nothing I could do.  Once I heard the sirens, I took off. I didn't want to be put into  foster care, and I was turning eighteen in less than a month." I paused  again, searching the audience as they all pierced their eyes up at me.

"And that was when I made it to the city. The Coalition gave me  resources that helped me finish my GED and apply for an internship at  Boxy Magazine, which ended up being a life changer for me. I worked my  way up, finished my associates degree, and eventually, I was hired on as  a full-time employee. I can almost guarantee you without Helena and the  Coalition's help and support, I would've ended up back on the street,  living my adulthood the same as my childhood. But, fortunately, I can  stand here in front of you all tonight and say I was given a second  chance. I was given a second chance at life, at making something of  myself, at being a productive citizen in the community. And with the  right resources and encouragement, anyone can do that, regardless of  their childhood."

I finally exhaled a long breath as I rambled on for much longer than I  had expected, but once I started, I couldn't stop. It was as if I had  been holding it in all this time and it needed to be released. At first,  I expected glares and looks of pity but was soon greeted with a  standing ovation. Men and women stood and applauded me, smiling up at me  with admiration. I could hardly believe what I was seeing. I hadn't  expected this kind of response and now the tears threatening to pour out  earlier were leaking out uncontrollably.         

     



 

"Wow … " Helena said next to me. "Thank you so much for sharing your  story, Mackenzie. We appreciate it so much." She waved a hand out to the  crowd and then swarmed me in for a hug. "Your success story is  beautiful," she whispered in my ear.

I chanced a look at William, who was standing as well, but his lips were  in a firm line as he applauded with the crowd. He looked at me in shock  as if he wasn't quite sure what to think. Alex's eyes were focused on  me, unmoving and unreadable as I thanked the crowd one last time and  stepped down.

As I walked back to my table, people stopped me along the way, smiling  and congratulating me on my success. I flashed small smiles back, the  nerves and anxiety of what I had just confessed finally catching up to  me.

By the time I got back to my table, William was finally eating his meal  that had to be cold by now. Alex stayed standing until I reached my  chair before he leaned in and whispered, "You did incredible. You should  be proud." I looked briefly at him as he flashed a genuine, sweet smile  at me.

"I didn't expect that … at all. But I'm glad I did it," I responded  honestly as I took my seat. "It feels good to get it off my chest to a  room of people who understand and want to help."

"You did wonderful, darling. Great speech." William leaned over and  kissed my cheek. "You have a great backstory. The press will eat that up  big time."

The difference between him and me was that I didn't care about the  press. I didn't want them using my story to make money. It was my story  and it wasn't meant to be used for that purpose.

"Well, knowing them, they'll spin it into some messed up story and make me look bad."

"Well, being homeless isn't exactly something to glamorize, darling."

I narrowed my brows in frustration. "Well, exactly. It's not," I hissed.  "It's an ugly truth that too many people don't want to know about."

"Well, of course not." He sighed. "But I'm proud of you for getting  involved with something you're passionate about. It shows the press you  have good character." His expression showed no emotion whatsoever, and I  couldn't believe he wasn't a bit affected by it.

I leaned in so I wouldn't make a scene, and in a hushed, stern voice, I  said, "I don't care about the fucking press. I don't care how bad it  makes me look. I thought I did, but now that I've stood up there and  basically, overcame my biggest fear of telling strangers what my  childhood was really like, I'm done hiding and pretending that it never  happened. Because whether or not you like it, it did."

He flashed his eyes to me briefly before taking a sip of his drink and  said, "We'll talk about this in private, Mackenzie. This isn't the  place."





Chapter Sixteen



William escorted me to the car that was waiting for us. The  photographers had all left, but I still felt like I was on display. He  placed his hand securely on my lower back, ushering me to the back of  the car. I felt uneasy about the whole night, but I couldn't think of  that right now. I just wanted to be home.

As William walked around to get into the other side, my eyes met Alex's  through the window. He was leaning against the building with both of his  hands in his pockets, staring intently at me. His lips were in a firm  line and tense as were his facial features. I swallowed and mouthed,  "Thank you" to him just before William sat in next to me. Alex returned a  light nod before pushing off the building and walking away. The car  started and pulled into traffic just as he turned and looked at me once  more.

I could feel my heart break in that moment. I closed my eyes as I  thought about the situation I was in. How could I be in love with one  man and have feelings for another?

Was that even possible?



I didn't know a lot about relationships and love before I met William. I  had gone on dates, but they never turned serious. When I met William,  and he asked me out on that first date, I never expected it to go  further. I was completely smitten and he took my breath away on a daily  basis with how sweet and attentive he was. I didn't have anything to  compare it to, but I just knew it made me feel really special.         

     



 

So when he proposed to me, it was a no-brainer. I had never been  happier, and I wanted to keep it that way, but now I was finding myself  questioning everything.