But then Alex came and threw a wrench in everything. He made it painfully obvious how much I felt alone. He pointed out flaws about William I had never considered before. I knew William was a busy man, but hearing Alex say it over and over again was making me realize it so much more. And I hated that.
I hated feeling unsure of something I was so sure of before. And I hated it even more that Alex was the one making the effort to calm me and show an interest in what I was passionate about.
This was all too much. I couldn't think about this right now, not when I was about to make the speech of my life.
ALEX DIDN'T LEAVE my side-not when William finally came back over and not when William left once again when he spotted a few people he just needed a few minutes to chat with. This was my night and my fiancé couldn't bear to stick by me for more than ten minutes.
However, I couldn't get angry right now. I'd deal with it later because in about twenty minutes, the charity spokesperson, Helena, would be introducing me on stage to give the opening speech.
"This food is delicious. Did you coordinate it?" Alex asked as he cut into his steak.
"Yes," I answered simply. "The shrimp is amazing." I forked a piece and offered it to Alex without thinking.
Before I could take it back, he leaned in and took it from my fork with his mouth. He sat close, but now his mouth was inches from me. I just stared at him, in shock and awe as he moaned as the shrimp's delicious flavor captivated him.
"Wow … you weren't wrong. It's incredible."
"It's the sauce," I said quickly. "It's the chef's ‘secret recipe' but I might've convinced him to tell me." I smiled, proud that the food was a hit. I looked around and saw people smiling and nodding as they indulged in their food as well. William was off to god knows where, and although his plate was left untouched, and I was tempted to steal the shrimp right off of it, I thought better to leave it. When he returns, he can see a full plate of food that he missed.
"I bet you did." He laughed. "You can be very convincing."
"Only when I need to be." I grinned. "I've worked with him on other events before, so we have a special food bond."
"Well, at least you have your priories straight," he said with amusement, shoving more food in his mouth.
"Well, from research, it's a known fact people are willing to spend more money when they're full and satisfied. Invest in the food, and people will invest in your charity." I smiled wider, proud. I knew this from being involved in other events, but tonight, I wanted to knock our goal out of the park. I was determined.
I spotted Chelsea from across the room. She came with a date and looked stunning. I sent her a quick ‘thank you' text and to tell her to enjoy the night as well.
Just as dessert was being served, William took his seat on the other side of me. He unbuttoned his jacket as he pushed himself in. He reached for his champagne glass that had to be warm by now.
"My apologies. What'd I miss?"
Alex started talking before I could. "Oh, you know. Just the whole dinner. And being by your fiancée as she prepares for her speech," he answered coldly, irritation evident in his voice. My body shook as I felt Alex's body tense up next to me. William looked unaffected as he began cutting into his food.
"Yes, and I'm sorry about that. I had some business to take care of."
Business? "How could you possibly have business to take care of when you're at an event for me?" I asked, turning to look at him. I really didn't want to start anything here, especially in front of Alex, but I couldn't help the words come out of my mouth. I was a little pissed that he had just bailed on me.
"Darling … " he warned. "I'll explain later. I'm sorry for being absent, but I'm here now, okay?" He looked at me with pleading eyes and I knew he was sincere. I nodded in return, not wanting to say anymore.
"Ladies and gentleman. May I have your attention, please?" My heart began racing as I heard Helena's voice over the speaker. She was a chipper little thing. Her passion was as big as mine and she had been so delighted so many people had RSVP'd to come. "I am beyond words to see such a full crowd tonight. I can hardly express how it feels to know so many wonderful people are here to support the Coalition for the Homeless. Helping the homeless off the streets of New York and providing them with alternative options is our number one priority and with your help tonight, we're one step closer." She paused to give the audience a chance to applaud and then continued. "It is with great honor to welcome our coordinating host, Mackenzie Hewitt. Without her, this event wouldn't be possible. Please help me in welcoming her up on stage!"
The audience went into a fit of applause. My body tensed until I felt Alex's hand on my knee, grabbing my attention. He quickly leaned and whispered in my ear, "You've got this." He leaned back and winked at me just before William wished me luck.
Oh god.
I was really going to do this.
I smiled at the crowd as I took the steps to the stage in front of me. My heart was pounding in my chest and the anxiety started to overcome me as all eyes stayed on me.
I'd given speeches before, but this one would be personal. This was my past, full on display for critique and judgment. This was something I was ashamed to admit, but at the same time, I knew I could potentially be helping hundreds of homeless children by opening up. I could only hope my experience would encourage others to donate and to become more aware of how this was affecting our city.
If not, I didn't know what I would do. But I couldn't think of that right now.
I smiled and nodded a silent thank you to Helena and stepped behind the podium, adjusting the microphone in front of me. I swallowed as I stared out into the audience, seeing all eyes up at me. I exhaled and smiled nervously, taking a step closer and clearing my throat.
"Thank you, Helena-" I flashed a smile at her and continued. "And thank you to everyone who took the time to come tonight. I can't tell you how much the Coalition for the Homeless means to me. I decided to get involved shortly after I arrived to the city and have been fortunate enough to see all the wonderful progress in just the last few years." I looked out and saw Alex's eyes burned into mine. He was hanging on every word I was saying and the thought comforted me. I wasn't sure why, but a part of me felt like he could relate on such a deeper level.
"For anyone who doesn't know, I didn't exactly grow up privileged. In fact, I grew up on the streets and in shelters mostly. Between a father who didn't stick around long enough to meet me and a mother who wasn't mentally stable enough to hold a job, we fought to survive on a daily basis. There were days we went without food, without warmth, and on most occasions, without medicine when we were sick." I swallowed, inhaling deeply to slow down my racing heart as I took in the audience's shocked faces.
"That was the reality of being homeless. And as a child, I couldn't understand why I was being allowed to live like that. My mother, Elizabeth, moved us frequently, just often enough so she wouldn't go to jail for child neglect. Had she been caught, I would've been thrown into a foster home that may or may not have been a better solution for me. There are too many children and not enough foster homes. There are too many families and not enough resources." I sucked in a breath, pushing back the emotions that were threatening to spill out.
"There's a stigma that homeless people are addicts or got themselves into that position by being lazy, but the statistics show homelessness is on the rise since the great depression due to unaffordable housing, job loss, and mental disorders." I immediately thought of my mother, knowing she fit into some of those stereotypes. I used that passion, that determination to do better-be better-to continue going.
"With the help of your support tonight, we can get families stabilized in shelters, move them into permanent housing, and implement assistant programs to keep them in their housing. Not only can we reduce the numbers of homeless in our city, but eventually eliminate it completely." I smiled, proud that I was supporting a cause that truly benefited the city and everyone involved.
"The Coalition also approaches reducing homeless by their prevention solutions. It's easy to get involved and help us feed and shelter the sixty thousand people who will sleep in shelters tonight. And astonishing as it is, half of that number are families with children. Also, with your help and support, we can get these families back into their own homes and supporting themselves with the programs established by the Coalition. Food, shelter, and support are what these families need and we need your help in order to continue doing so." I finished, relieved and anxious that I had been able to get all the words out.