"We were homeless, Alex!" I shouted. "Are you happy now? I was homeless for most of my teen years. My mother couldn't get her shit together and I paid for it."
He cursed and rubbed his hand over his jawline in frustration. I could see from his body language that it was affecting him for some reason. "Alex … " His eyes were focused on something else. "Alex," I said again. I grabbed his hand causing him to jump, and then his eyes finally went soft when I made him look at me. "It's in the past. It's nothing to be upset about now. I survived. I had to."
"Is that why you're with him?" he asked, bringing his body toward mine again. "You feel safe with him, that's it, isn't it?"
"No," I gritted through my teeth, grabbing my plate and walking to the sink. "I moved to New York City years before I even met William. I stayed in homeless shelters as I worked during my internship. After William and I had become exclusive, I was hired on and found three other people to room with. It wasn't until we were engaged that I moved in. I saved money. All of it. I only spent what was necessary."
He huffed a humorous laugh at me. "Well, looks like you did a good job at upgrading."
I dropped my plate dramatically in the sink and laughed to myself. "And he's back, ladies and gentleman." I started to walk out and continued, "Go fuck yourself, Alex."
"No need to, sweetheart, when I have you just down the hallway from me," I heard him yell back at me, but I was already down the hall and done playing his stupid games. Enough was enough.
WILLIAM SURPRISED ME by coming home early. I had gone to bed early, before seven p.m. I couldn't take anymore, and I just needed to sleep it off.
He shifted on the bed, grabbing the covers and covering up before molding his body to mine. I looked at the clock and saw that it was only eight-thirty.
"Mm, you're home early. What a nice surprise." He didn't respond so I curled my body up closer to his and felt him inhale against my neck. "How was your trip?" I asked, but again, he didn't respond. Instead, he curled his hand around my breast as his erection pushed against the small of my back. I moaned and bit my lip as I closed my eyes, arching my back into the hardness of his cock. "I figured you'd be exhausted, darling." Again nothing. "William?"
"Sweetheart, if I had you in my bed waiting every night, I'd never leave town."
My eyes shot out of my head as I heard Alex's voice, not William. I kicked and rolled out of bed screaming, "Alex! What the fuck are you doing? Get out!"
"Mac, calm down." He walked around the bed and stepped in front of me.
"I will not calm down. You had no right to touch me like that." I pushed against his chest, but he didn't flinch.
"You didn't seem to have a problem with it a second ago."
"That's when I thought you were William!"
"Did you enjoy it?"
"What?" I gasped, taking a step back.
"The way I was touching you," he clarified. "You liked it. Your body responded immediately."
"That's not fair, Alex. I didn't know it was you," I defended.
"Does your body respond to him like that? Does he make you moan?" he continued asking.
"Get out," I said firmly, my face tense and eyes ready to burst into tears.
"Does he make your toes curl when you come or fuck you so deep you scream?" he continued.
"Stop it," I begged.
"Come on, Mac, tell me. Does he fuck you uncontrollably like I did? Deep and hard as I devoured your mouth and pussy."
"Alex! Enough!" I screamed, clenching my eyes tightly. I tried to push the images out. Begged them to go away, but they wouldn't. I marched toward him and began pushing him out the door. "Alex, out! I mean it!
He gripped my wrist, stopping my pathetic attempts at moving him.
"Why are you lying to yourself, Mac? You may think you love him, but you fucked me. You. Fucked. Me. And you loved it, Mac. You enjoyed it so fucking much, you begged me not to stop. You couldn't take it yet you cried out for more. You were addicted, Mac. You hadn't known what was good until I showed it to you. And you can fight it all you want, but your body knows. It wants me. You want me. Stop fighting me."
I shook my head as tears fell down my face. "I can't. I won't. William is good. He's good to me and doesn't deserve this. What kind of son tries to steal their dad's fiancée and happiness? Who does that?" I scowled.
"Someone who knows he's with the wrong girl... "
"You don't know that," I retorted.
"I do. You belong with me, Mac. Not him."
I shook my head again. "You don't know anything about me."
He ignored my statement and continued, "It's the money, right? The financial security that keeps you around?"
"How dare you!" I shouted as angry tears spouted down my cheeks. I could only imagine how awful I looked at that moment, but I didn't care. I'd never been this mad in my entire life.
"I mean, the sex can't be that good. It's gotta be the money. Or perhaps the house? The endless supply of designer clothes? How about never having to buy a meal again? Which one is it?" he taunted with complete lack of compassion in his voice.
"I hate you," I hissed. "I told you my past in confidence and now you're going to throw it back in my face?" I went to slap him, but he caught my wrist and pulled me toward him, keeping me hostage against his broad chest.
"Sweetheart, you can fight it all day and night. I'll still never let you go."
He released me at the same time I whipped my arm back. "Get out. Now."
He finally stepped back and walked out of the bedroom. My heart was pounding as more tears came down with full force.
Chapter Twelve
I felt like an idiot for giving Alex that part of me. I rarely talked about my past. Not even William knew the intimate details and that was how I wanted it, but with Alex … something shifted. I lowered my guard and felt safe talking to him. Perhaps it's because we're the same age and I felt he could understand, but I was wrong. He only used it to get back at me, and now I hated him. He didn't even realize how hard that was for me to talk about.
William texted me at nine-thirty letting me know his flight was delayed and not to wait up for him. It was good timing too because I needed to get myself back together. It was only the first weekend Alex had been here and it's already been hell. He wouldn't get the hint and he was making it nearly impossible to forget what we did.
I couldn't explain it. I wished I could, but my body remembered him. The moment he pressed his body into mine, I relaxed and surrendered to him. I had thought it was William, but my body knew. The way my body tingled and heated, how just the tips of his fingers sent shivers down my body, or the way his lips made arousal build up inside me. There was something about Alex that seemed unforgettable. Something about that night that connected us in a way I couldn't understand.
Once I calmed down, I realized what hurt the most were his questions about my reasons for being with William. I didn't appreciate the media ridiculing me, but it hurt worse coming from Alex. I didn't like being second-guessed. I knew my reasons for being with William were legit and real. On a conscious level, the money and fame never came into the equation, but I knew people assumed it did.
I never questioned my attraction to William. It was almost immediate, and when he showed me the side of him the media didn't recognize, I knew our love was real and genuine, too.
I WOKE UP before the sun, shifting from side to side, unable to fall back asleep. William was next to me now. I must've passed out before he arrived back home.
"Good morning, beautiful." He turned and smiled, rubbing his thumb softly against my cheek.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" I asked with concern. I knew he couldn't have slept much.
"No, just my internal clock. Never shuts off no matter what time I go to bed."
"Do you have a busy schedule today?"
"No, actually. I had most of my morning meetings canceled. I have a late afternoon conference call though." He pulled my body to his, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I pressed my cheek to his chest, putting an arm around his waist as we just lay there together. William was in good shape, not that he had much time to work out, but he kept himself active enough. I remember seeing him naked for the first time and thinking he didn't look anything like I had imagined. He looked better.
I groaned at the sound of my alarm clock. "Dammit." I quickly rolled over and turned it off and then turned back to lie in his arms again. "I just want to stay like this all day." I wiggled my body against him, nuzzling my face deeper and firmer against him. It was moments like this that I just knew William could make me happy for the rest of our lives. All the doubt, all the insecurities of my past evaporated when I got William like this. Just us.