Like now.
I wasn’t sure where Gianna and I stood. If I texted her that I loved and missed her, she’d return the sentiments, but with her jaw wired shut, she couldn’t talk well enough for us to converse over the phone. Our relationship had been reduced to a series of texts and emails.
I craved her, needed her with me again.
I needed things back the way they were before, Gianna a short drive away, us together whenever we had the chance. We talked about only the most superficial things in emails and even through text messages I could sense her distancing herself from me. With her being all the way in Houston and me stuck here, I had no way to fix it.
We hadn’t talked about what had happened. I’d rather not do it over text messages or emails. The right time would be when she was in my arms again. In person, I’d be able to help her the way she needed. I trusted Chris was getting her the help she needed.
But I couldn’t help feeling what she needed most was me.
I’d gotten suspended from school for beating the shit out of Josh. So I’d been doing my schoolwork from home also. The school was trying to decide what to do with me, whether or not to expel me. On the one hand, Josh had assaulted Gianna and my reaction had been provoked and totally justifiable. On the other hand, I’d beaten the shit out of him badly enough to land him in the hospital.
The bright side of all this was that Josh had already gotten expelled. He was also arrested the moment he’d been released from the hospital. My dad had kept in contact with Julie enough to let me know what was going on with the charges against Josh.
I cringed at the thought of my own upcoming meeting with the justice system. Next week I had to go in front of a juvenile court judge for assaulting Josh.
It probably wouldn’t have been such a big deal, but I was already on probation for assault for when I’d beat up Claudette’s ex-boyfriend the night he’d shown up at her apartment and hit her. I’d put him in the hospital just like Josh and my lawyer was afraid the pattern of behavior would look bad to the judge. At the time I’d been found guilty of assaulting the other guy, the judge had claimed I’d gone too far in my effort to protect Claudette, something about unnecessary force.
By that point, I’d already been arrested for minor offenses and the assault charge had called for major action on the justice system’s part, hence probation. I’d visited my probation officer the other day and he hadn’t been too happy with me. The guy was an ass.
Lying on my bed, listening to depressing music, feeling sorry for myself, I sent Gianna another text.
Miss you
After four minutes, I was watching the clock, I got a text back: Miss you too
Okay, I’d take that.
Love you, beautiful
Love you too
Right, that made me feel marginally better.
Can’t wait to hold you again, princess
I knew it was hard for her to text with her broken wrists, so I waited patiently. Ten minutes later her next text came.
Watching a movie with my dad
When are you coming home?
She sent back, Not sure
Have court next week
Three minutes later, Hope you don’t get in trouble because of me
Not your fault, any of it
When she still hadn’t messaged back fourteen minutes later, I texted her again.
How are you?
She finally texted me back.
Fine
That didn’t tell me much. I gave up for now, frustrated by the lack of communication. When we were face-to-face again, I wouldn’t let her hide from me.
I sent her, Love you, TTYL
Okay
The helpless, panicky feeling was back again. What the hell was I supposed to do? I tried to reassure myself I could fix everything once Gianna was back in Denver. Her dad was supposedly going to sell his house in Houston, pull out of his partnership with a group of other plastic surgeons and buy a home in the suburbs for him, Gianna and Chance to move into.
Chris had threatened Julie with taking her to court to get all her parental rights revoked if she fought him for custody. He probably wouldn’t go that far, but Julie wasn’t chancing it. Gianna wanted to live with her dad and Chris told Julie there was no way a judge would make her stay with an “unstable mother.” Despite the vast difference in their ages, a judge also wouldn’t want to separate a brother and sister. I imagined Julie was cooperating because she didn’t want anyone to call her crazy on record.
Once Chris moved here, everything would get better.
My dad wasn’t pissed at me at all about beating up Josh, but my mom was upset. She said while she understood why I’d done it she just wished none of it had ever happened.
We all felt that way.
She was also upset about my date with juvie court. My parents planned to be there to support me and hoped the judge would be lenient once my lawyer explained the situation.