Ian was actually a lot of fun to hang out with. Spending time with him reminded me of the early days with Caleb, before we entered into a rollercoaster relationship.
Thinking of Ian and Caleb made me smile. They were so much alike in so many ways. Both of them made me laugh with their irreverent senses of humor. Anytime I went anywhere with Ian, there was a chance we’d run into past conquests. So like Caleb.
Still, in some ways Caleb and Ian were way different. As where Caleb was the free spirit, fun-loving type of guy, Ian was the exact opposite. When Ian cared about someone, he would do anything for them. But, he was often cold toward anyone not on his short list of friends.
It made me glad I didn’t fall into the non-friend category. I sensed a cruelness in Ian I hoped was never aimed in my direction.
I’d have to suck it up and go crawling back to Cece and the crew soon.
The first Saturday after Caleb and I had ended things, I didn’t go to ballet class that morning, but I did drive down into Denver. I’d skipped practice with the crew and the competition we had that night. After receiving texts and voicemails from them all night and throughout the next day, I’d finally texted Jared and Cece. I’d explained that I needed time alone.
I was beginning to feel like a shitty friend.
That same Saturday night, I’d come to this club, applied for the dancing position, ran into Ian, auditioned the next day and here was I was.
I felt guilty about letting down the crew, but in my misery after the breakup, I hadn’t felt like I could be around them. It was in no way their fault, of course. In fact, they’d warned me to be careful about Caleb. Stupidly, I hadn’t listened.
I’d planned to go back to them and patch things up when I was ready. When I got my head on straight again and wasn’t acting like a coward, if they still wanted me.
So, perhaps not all my problems were here tonight, but half of them were.
Caleb.
Ian.
The crew.
Time had run out and it was time for me to be brave.
Caleb had basically said I’d have no choice, that I’d be hanging out with him every Saturday after work. But I was feeling pretty feisty in my cool boots. If he came any closer to my platform, I’d be tempted to kick him to prove just how much choice I had.
So, maybe every part of my being was missing him like crazy and craving his attention. It didn’t mean I had to make it easy for him. I wasn’t a dog to come running with a leash in my mouth. The fact I’d brought in my bag tonight the Blu-ray movie he’d given me wasn’t a sign of surrender.
Ian came with me here tonight and I saw Caleb walk in about an hour ago. Looking sexy as hell and getting hit on by anything wearing a bra, and sometimes not wearing one, he seemed content to wait out my shift. I’d have liked to punt some of those girls in the face with my kickass boots.
Caleb hadn’t ventured near me, but I could see him chatting with some girl at the bar. I was jealous even if she wasn’t very cute. When he followed her onto the dance floor, my jealousy skyrocketed. One badass motorcycle boot to the face coming right up. Make that two.
While I glared in the direction of Caleb and the so-not-cute girl dancing, I didn’t notice Ian was standing directly below me. A light brush against my calf alerted me to his presence. Right before I glanced down at him, I noticed Caleb scowling in our direction. I graced Ian with my warmest smile. Returning it, Ian tapped his watch to let me know my break was coming up.
During my break, one of my other problems would be performing. I knew there was a chance my crew would show up at this particular club eventually. I just hadn’t expected it to be so soon.
I wasn’t looking forward to facing them. I’d seen them slipping into the club earlier, immediately being ushered by the entertainment coordinator into the back rooms. They were probably busy changing, warming up and doing a last minute pep talk.
The track ended less than a minute later and I gripped Ian’s shoulder to jump down onto the floor. Picking up my bottle of water from the platform ledge, I chugged down what was left of it. The other two dancers were also taking their breaks now that the entertainment was about to start.
The lights dimmed and new music began. I allowed Ian to grab my hand and pull me closer to where the crew would perform near the stairs leading up to the DJ booth. Over the first beats of the music, the DJ announced them and multi-colored lights rotated to shine on them.
As I watched their performance, I felt an ache in my chest. They looked great and had come up with a new routine. I got a small sense of satisfaction from the fact I hadn’t been replaced, leaving Cece as the only girl in the group.
Seeing them dance, I realized how much I missed them. How wrong I was to unfairly push them out of my life when Caleb had hurt me. I guess I was just taking it out on my friends at a time when the cause of my pain wasn’t around to lash out at.