Danger! Bad Boy(38)

She stopped struggling, frozen in my lap. Slapping a palm against my shoulder, she burst into tears. “Bastard.”

Waiting for the tears to stop, I held her, wishing I could say the words to stop them.

When she quieted down, I forged ahead. “Why did you quit the crew, princess?”

She sniffled. “Because I couldn’t stand to face them. They were all right about you.”

It hurt she thought that about me. “I’m not that person anymore, Gianna.”

“I don’t know who you are, Caleb.”

I almost said I was the one who loved her. Julie was still in control. With her in control of Gianna, she was therefore in control of me.

Bringing my face down to hers, I whispered, “I don’t want you to be unhappy. I don’t want you to hurt.”

She pushed herself off my lap and onto the cushion next to me. “Too late, Caleb.”

Getting up, she was headed for the apartment door. As she reached down to grab her bag, I shot up off of the couch, knowing what I was about to do was stupid, but unable to help myself.

Enclosing my arms around her waist from behind, I buried my face in her neck. “Please stay the night with me, Gianna.”

She stiffened and I could’ve sworn she stopped breathing. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Caleb.”

“I need you, Gianna.” I had no idea how long it would be before I could be near her again. “No sex, I promise. Just let me hold you.”

An eternity passed before she relaxed against me. “Okay.”

Her tone was heavy with reluctance. Very carefully, I guided her towards my bedroom, coaxing her to where I wanted her. I knew she was frightened I’d hurt her again.

And I was going to try my hardest not to.





CHAPTER ELEVEN




“You know you’re in love when you don’t want to fall asleep

because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

-Dr. Seuss



GIANNA



I allowed Caleb to steer me down the hall to his bedroom. I guess he could sense my reluctance because he threw me a reassuring smile.

What the hell was I doing? Why did I come here tonight? I felt like one of those pathetic girls who put up with whatever crap the man she loved dished out.

So pathetic, Gianna. He doesn’t even love you back!

That was why I came here tonight, because of a misguided hope. I had to admit to myself I’d been hoping if I came to see him, he’d sweep me into his arms and tell me that he didn’t mean it, he loved me and couldn’t live without me. That he’d been dying without me as much as I’d been dying without him.

So freaking pathetic!

But dammit, I couldn’t help it. I was still crazy about him, even if he was only going to hurt me again, I couldn’t stay away from him. Just for tonight, I told myself. One more night.

I wanted answers, though. I needed to know why everything went down the way it did.

Caleb pulled me down to sit on the edge of his bed next to him. As he wrapped an arm around my back and brought me close, I asked, “Caleb, were you just using me?”

“Never,” he said, kissing my forehead.

God, he smelled good. Sitting this close to him reminded me of the time we were always like this. Always touching, kissing, not getting enough of each other.

I wanted to ask him why he couldn’t love me back. I wanted to scream it at him. So, maybe he cared about me, but that wasn’t enough.

Wouldn’t ever be enough.

A one-sided relationship would have been hell. I closed my eyes and relaxed my head against him, savoring being with him like this again after weeks of deprivation. Just a little bit of heaven.

His thumb was rubbing circles in my back. I soaked up the feeling of his touch. “Gianna, how the hell did you start hanging out with Ian?”

I lifted my face to look up at him. He was clearly mad. Why? If he didn’t love me, had thought our relationship had run its course, what did he care who I hung out with?

I answered his question with one of my own. “Is that why I’m here tonight, Caleb? Because you found me with Ian and it’s sparked the perpetual competition between you two?”

His laughter was rough and bitter. “Ian is no competition. You’re with me because I can’t stay away from you any longer.”

“Can’t stay away from me?” I challenged skeptically. “Caleb, everything that’s happened between us is because of you. No one is making you stay away from me but yourself.”

His expression was weird. His mouth was opened as if he hesitated to say something. I felt like we were on the verge of something important when he closed his mouth and a guarded look came over him. Deflated, I rested my head back on his chest.

After a minute or two of silence, he finally said, “You didn’t answer my question about Ian.”