I never looked Caleb’s way. For the most part. Not enough for anyone to have noticed.
Anyways, he hung out with what we used to call the misfits; those cool, real people who I totally saw first, dammit!
So, maybe I was envious of that, but then I’d remember that things were as they should be. Pre-Caleb. My fake life was more to my liking. Safe from heartbreak (well, at least further heartbreak) and safe from the realness that hurt too much when it got too real.
It’d been three weeks and I was still waiting for it to stop hurting.
Saturdays were a little different now.
CALEB
“What do you mean, she quit the crew?” I asked Dante, who was on the other end of the phone.
“Exactly what I just said. She. Quit. She’s not even returning Cece’s phone calls anymore. My woman is upset about it. And worried about what’s up with Gianna,” Dante said in an annoyed tone. The fact that my best friend was dating Gianna’s best friend was a godsend.
The only other way I got any real information about Gianna was through Chance and I figured stalking a little kid to get info on his big sister was getting kind of pathetic.
“Well, Chance says that she’s still going down to Denver every Saturday, so what the hell is she doing?”
“Who’s Chance?”
“Uh, never mind.” I quickly changed the subject, “So, what are you doing this weekend?”
“Hanging out with Cece. Gonna go watch the crew at a competition this weekend in Colorado Springs.”
“Oh, well tell Cece and Taye I said hello.” I was ready to get off the phone. I was effing thrilled for Dante, but his relationship bliss reminded me of my own failure with Gianna.
After I got off the phone with Dante, I just sat on my bed thinking. A solution to the Julie problem was still eluding me. Gianna acted as though I didn’t exist and I didn’t blame her. From her point-of-view, I was the jerk who used her and ditched her once he got what he wanted.
But I still wanted her.
I wanted her so badly I ached with it. The brief glimpses of her I got at school weren’t enough. I wanted all of her like I had her before when she’d been mine. She still was mine. She just didn’t know it. If only her controlling mother would’ve realized it too.
That creeper, Josh, hovered near her all the time. I hoped my warning glares kept him off her back. No matter how much I glared at Seth, he still kept close to my girl. Granted, the kid had never done anything wrong, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to beat him. If he rubbed Gianna’s shoulder one more time or if he even thought about having sex with her, he was a dead man.
Damn, that douchebag probably fantasized about it on an hourly basis. I knew I did. The shithead got to hold her in his arms and kiss her lips and I wasn’t even allowed to talk to her. If I punched him hard enough, his lips would be too swollen for kissing.
I was tempted to just go down on my knees and beg for her forgiveness. I’d tell her it was all a lie and that I did love her. So incredibly much it drove me crazy with wanting her. She wasn’t speaking with the crew anyways and they were one of the reasons I’d given in to Julie’s threats.
Of course, her mom could still follow through with the threat of sending her away to live with her father or someplace crazy like Siberia.
I just needed to be patient and work out a plan.
I lay back on my bed as a plan that would work continued to elude me.
When the clock turned seven, I hopped up and changed out of what I wore to school that day. Tonight was a home football game. I could watch Gianna cheer on the sidelines for hours. My school spirit had never been better.
Keeping my distance from her at the game was hard. I wanted to snatch her up and run away from everyone. When I wasn’t staring at Gianna, I was glaring at every male in the stands who I suspected could possibly be leering at her in her cheerleader uniform. Jeez, the cheerleaders should really be required to wear pants. Loose sweats would’ve been nice. How many of the grown men here tonight had gotten a hard on for the cheerleaders?
I also scowled at the football players. I hated them all for the clean-cut image they gave the parents, like they were good guys just because they played a sport. Why couldn’t parents like Julie realize the only difference between them and me was a jockstrap?
My favorite person to glower at was Seth, the current boy-next-door who Julie approved of.
Yeah, Chance told me things. Freaking loved that kid.
Maybe I should join the football team.
When the game was finally over, I watched Seth rush over to Gianna and pick her up in a bear hug. Besides pissing me off, it made me think about when her nude body was pressed up against mine in Las Vegas. Crap, now I was hard!