Dane(67)

"You're good." I grabbed her wrist and kissed her palm. "So I guess that means I deserve you. You meant that, so you need to start believing it. Stop questioning this. Stop waiting for it to fall apart … because it never will. If I'm only ever one thing … I'm devoted."

"What if this high we're on goes away, and you find you're not as content as you think you are? What if I don't make you as happy as you think I will? Then what? Because from what I know of you, you won't leave. You'll stick it out and be miserable … and I can't do that, Dane. I can't make you stay where you don't want to be."

My smile confused her, making her brow furrow, but I ignored it. "It's not like Gabi didn't know how I felt. It's not like she was under this impression that everything was sunshine and rainbows. It wasn't a secret, Eden. But she wouldn't let me go. I don't anticipate you being anything other than the woman in front of me right now, but in the event something happens or something changes … I know you won't tie me down. You won't keep me where I don't want to be. That's the difference."

"You never know." Her lips thinned as she tried to fight off a smirk. "I could be crazy. I could chain you up in my basement and feed you cat food until you weighed three hundred pounds, and then sell you on the black market."

I rolled on top of her, pushing her onto her back. With my head in the crook of her neck, I blew hot air against her skin, causing her to squirm and giggle. Giving her a reprieve, I watched the light dance in her eyes. "Good luck finding a basement in Florida. And cat food? You couldn't come up with anything else?"

She shrugged after catching her breath. "It was the first thing that came to mind. I never claimed to be quick-witted."

After teasing and more tickling, I eventually settled lower on her body, my head resting against her stomach like a pillow. My fingers traced the lines of the tattoo on her side and I thought about the first time I saw it, when I first felt the need to run my fingers along the twisted tree trunk, touch the black-and-grey shading, and follow it up to the living branches at the top.

"What does this mean?" I asked without taking my eyes off the ink.

"My tattoo?"

I nodded and shifted my head so I could see her.

"It's an old, ancient tree, Dane. Not much to explain about it."

"But it's not all old and ancient. There's vibrant life still in it. So tell me, what does it mean?"

She blinked and tried to look away, but before I could call her attention back, her eyes found mine again. They were soft, almost sad as she explained, "People leave. They stay around until they get what they want and then they're gone. And sometimes, they don't even stick around at all. They just push you off on someone else, like you're nothing but a burden they don't care to deal with."

I hadn't ever heard Eden talk like that before. I didn't like it. She was too strong of a person to sound so broken. I almost said something, but stopped when she continued talking.

"But I've learned something each time. The trunk is old, its roots deep and thick, scarred and weathered, dead looking, much like the relationships from my past. They took their toll on me-they left their scars and affected how my roots took hold, yet my tree continued to grow. But, just like life, all you have to do is look up to see the new beginning, the fresh blooms. Look back and all you see is the weathered, twisted past, but to find the beauty, you have to see it as a whole. My birth mother gave me away, and I struggled with that a lot when I was younger because I felt abandoned. But now, I understand things aren't always black and white. It's not one way or another. Sometimes, there are reasons for why things happen and why people leave. Their time serves a purpose, and whether they stay or go, it's always for the better. It took me a while to see that, especially after my brother died. But I finally accepted that he was struggling here on Earth, and now he's in a place where he doesn't have to feel that way anymore."



       
         
       
        

Her words shocked me to my core, left me utterly speechless. She was only twenty-five and had already learned how to find the positives from things that seem so negative.

"You think I look away out of insecurity. I've told you it's because I'm shy. But maybe it's neither. Maybe it's nothing more than me protecting myself. If I let you see all of me-everything there is inside-and you leave, it'll sting. I know I'll get over it. I know it won't end me, but that doesn't mean it won't cause irrevocable damage. I don't want to take that chance because I refuse to give people that much power over me. I don't care to give anyone the satisfaction of wounding me. If I don't allow anyone in, then I shield myself from suffering. But if I give you that part of me, you could damage my heart beyond repair."