This wasn't a dream.
I stared at the square foil packet, realizing it'd been years since I had to wear one. It brought about a sense of reality. I'd been with one person for the last twelve years. I was sixteen years old the last time I was with anyone new. It wasn't so much insecurity of performing as it was the awareness of the situation. The thought of starting over would be enough to scare anyone-especially starting over with someone new-but it didn't frighten me. In fact, I found myself excited by the thought. It was as though I'd been trapped, held captive in a dark cave for years … no light, no comfort. Just pain and endless gloomy days. And now I was free. Dancing in the sun, breathing in clean air for the first time.
"Is everything okay?" Eden asked timidly, breaking me out of my thoughts.
I met her worried stare and cupped her cheek. "Everything's perfect."
"You seemed to space out there for a second. You had me nervous."
I slid her bra strap off her shoulder with one finger and watched the goose bumps form. She shuddered and clamped her lower lip between her teeth, suppressing her shallow gasps. I lowered my head and pressed my lips to her shoulder before snaking my tongue out and licking her damp skin. Carefully, I walked her back a few steps until she met the bed behind her. With my fingertips trailing lightly down her sides, I found her hips and guided her to the mattress.
She readjusted herself, laying her head on a pillow, her wet hair fanning out beneath her. The soft glow of the bedside lamp highlighted her beautifully perfect body. I wanted nothing more than to stand there and stare at her all night, worshiping every line, every curve, every imperfection that made up this goddess in front of me. I would need a lifetime to gain my fill of her.
As I crawled over her, I realized more than ever how I wanted to take my time. To drag this out for as long as I could, and spend every second memorizing everything I could about her. I started with tasting her skin, alternating between licking and kissing my way up her leg. When I made it to her inner thigh, I paused to savor the scent of her arousal, and then trailed the tip of my nose to her hipbone.
"You're my fresh air, Eden," I whispered against her.
She laced her fingers through my hair and hummed, which sent an electric current through me.
"You're the gentle breeze on a hot day." I kissed her lower belly. "The warmth of a fire on a cold night." Barely touching her skin, I grazed my lips up her abdomen to the space between her breasts. "The dreams that fill my sleep, and the moments right before I wake up, right before I open my eyes." I crawled up her body until I could whisper into her ear while she panted softly beneath me. "You know that peaceful place between sleep and wake? When you're conscious yet not alert? When the comfort of your dream still has you wrapped in its calming waves? You're that place, Eden."
When I pulled my head away to look into her eyes, she held my face between her warm palms. Her fingernails toyed with the scruff along my jaw, which was longer than normal considering it'd been two days since I'd trimmed it. Her eyes never left mine. She lay beneath me, nearly naked, yet I couldn't do anything but become lost in her gaze, trapped by the glowing emeralds.
"You scare me, Dane." Her voice trembled, but I didn't interrupt. Instead, I let her get it all out for fear she'd lose her nerve. "You came into my life, saving me from an unwelcome advance in a bar. You listened to me when I spoke and didn't look at me the way most men do. Maybe that's because you're a faithful man and you weren't single … whatever the reason was, you treated me like a person. And then you offered me a job-you somehow saw what I was capable of and gave me the perfect opportunity to prove it. I still don't know how you knew I was there or why you stormed into the PR department and whisked me away, but you did."
"So why do I scare you?" I asked with whispered words, nothing more than audible exhales against her lips.
"Because I don't know when you stole my heart. I don't remember a specific moment when I made the conscious decision to give it to you. You sat with me at a bar to ward off other men, and somehow, that left me comfortable with you. I never felt like you were a stranger, but someone I've known my whole life, even if I didn't really know anything about you. I woke up one morning and my heart was no longer in my chest, and I couldn't remember the last time it belonged to me. You came in and swept me up like a hurricane. I wasn't prepared for it, and now I'm scared of the destruction that'll be left behind when you're gone."
I silenced her with my lips, refusing to allow her to utter anything else. When her body relaxed into the mattress and her whimpers surrounded me like an erotic melody, I made my way down her neck before sitting up between her legs. With my fingers curled beneath the waistband of her panties, I locked my gaze with hers, silently asking for permission, making sure this was what she wanted. And as soon as she offered me her response-a quick nod and a slow smile-I wasted no time dragging the thin fabric down her legs and over her feet before tossing it to the floor.