It led me to meet Sharon. It led me to that clinic, the doctors that made me talk, and the realization of what I was meant to do. It took ten years, the suicide of an innocent man, two attempted suicides of my own, and years of self-loathing to finally see the reason behind what Todd had done to me. What my purpose was in life. And that was to help others who found themselves in the same place I'd been in for all that time.
It allowed me to know the kind of pain these girls had suffered through. Sharon helped me see that sometimes it's hard to open up to people who have never felt the kind of pain I've felt, and that was what made it all so clear to me. If others knew how much I suffered, and could see how I had made it through it all, they could feel hopeful that they could do the same.
Dane's public relations representative, Janette, contacted me months after I left rehab. She sat me down and wanted to talk. She cemented my theory by showing me I could be successful and happy in the end. She was married with children after suffering through her own personal hell. She even discovered a daughter through it all. I wanted that. I wanted love in the end. Not to save me-I was the only one who could do that-but I wanted love to support me.
And I found just that.
I eventually started talking to my mother again. She wasn't exactly in my life, but she was someone I kept in contact with from time to time. I had forgiven her. I no longer wanted to carry that burden. I let it go and moved on. I couldn't pay the price for her actions any longer and had left that for her to do.
I never knew what happened to Todd. I didn't want to know. It no longer mattered to me how he felt about it. For so long, all I had wanted was for him to be punished for what he'd done to me. For him to feel the same pain and heartache that had kept me imprisoned for years. But I eventually learned that it wasn't any of my concern. Wanting him to be punished was essentially punishing myself, and I couldn't do that. He was the one who had to live with what he did. I would always smile knowing what Dane had done to him, but after that incident, I no longer cared. I could not allow it to consume my life any more than it already had. I had to put it all behind me.
And that's exactly what I did.
After the condo sold and I attended enough sessions with my therapist to make me feel okay, Sharon and I moved four hours away. To a new place ready for new beginnings. We began attending therapy there by following the recommendation from our psychologist. With the help of our new therapist, we started Reasons to Talk. It began with a simple hotline. It was just the two of us in our tiny apartment and two telephone lines. But soon, it grew into something so much bigger.
After a year, we had an office full of volunteers to answer incoming phone calls. We handpicked each and every volunteer, making sure they had enough experience to make a difference in every call we received. Sharon and I went onto speaking engagements and even met with girls one on one. It gave me a sense of peace knowing I was there to help as young women opened up about the horrific things they had experienced. Nothing felt better than hearing from them later on, listening to them remind us what we were doing mattered-it was helping people. We were making a difference in the lives of many.
Everything happens for a reason.
Five years after moving away and putting that tiny beach town and memories behind me, I received a phone call from Janette. She asked me if I could attend a dinner function for Kauffmann Investments. It was a charity event and they wanted to donate the proceeds to my organization. They also wanted me to speak at the event and share my story. It felt like everything had come full circle.
My nerves ran high knowing I would be around Dane again after all this time, but I was eager to see him. I had kept up with him throughout the years and even sent him a card, congratulating him on the birth of his son, Adam. He was born only a year after I left town, but since then, there had been no contact between us.
In my flowing black gown, I fidgeted with my hands as I waited for him to show up. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't want it to be awkward, but I had no idea how he would feel after five years.
Michael grabbed my hand and smiled at me. "You're playing with your rings again. It's going to be fine, I promise. You need to stop worrying-it's not good for you." The love I saw in his eyes made the chaotic storm inside me instantly settle.
I placed my hand on my extended belly and rubbed it, smiling at my amazing husband.
"You look radiant, by the way," he said with a genuine smile.
"So do you." I squeezed his hand and then kissed him.
The sound of someone clearing their throat startled me, and I turned away from Michael. In front of me stood Dane and Eden. They were an incredible-looking couple. He was dressed in a tuxedo while Eden glowed in a green strapless gown. I couldn't stop the genuine smile that spread across my face.
"Dane, Eden, you two look amazing." I smiled at them both and snuggled into Michael's side with my hand on his chest. "This is my husband. Michael, this is Dane and Eden Kauffmann. They're the ones responsible for this event." I wanted it to sound as if I hadn't spoken of them before, which was a total lie. Michael knew exactly who they were, and was very excited to meet them both.
After I met Michael, I'd told him everything. Every dirty truth about who I was and where I had been. That included Dane. He had never disliked the man I'd once shared my life with, and had even told me he was glad I had been lucky enough to have someone like Dane on my side. He commonly referred to my ex as his placeholder, keeping me available and alive long enough for him to find me.
"Very nice to meet you, Michael," Dane said, shaking his hand. "And you look stunning, Gabi. Pregnancy and marriage seem to suit you well."
I smiled. "Being healthy helps with that, too."
"Of course. Thank you so much for agreeing to do this. We've followed your organization for a while and have wanted to do something to help for some time now. What you're doing is amazing, and I couldn't be more proud of you."
We all talked a little more before sitting down together at the head table. Michael and Dane conversed as Eden and I chatted about pregnancy and babies. She showed me pictures of Adam and told me all about him. He was four and had just started preschool. He sounded so smart, exactly like his daddy. He was the spitting image of Dane, and I knew he was the apple of their eye. Not for long, though, since Eden was eight months pregnant with their second child. She was exactly four weeks ahead of me.
"Do you know what you're having?" she asked as she touched my stomach.
"No. We want it to be a surprise. Very few things in life are these days, so we want to keep this one. Makes shopping and names hard, but it's worth it in the end."
"I understand. I wanted to keep it a surprise with Adam, but Dane wanted to know. He found out and I told him not to tell me. We had names picked out for both even though he already knew what it would be. Dane woke me up one morning talking to my belly, calling him Adam. But I was okay with it. I couldn't have imagined a better way for the surprise to have been ruined."
I couldn't help but laugh. I thought it would have been weird to hear a woman talk about all the things I once wanted with the man she married, but it wasn't. Maybe it was because I no longer wanted or needed any of that with anyone other than Michael.
"Do you know what you're having?" I asked and rubbed her stomach as she had done mine.
"A girl. Evelynn Rose."
"That's beautiful. Congratulations again."
Michael interrupted by placing his hand over my belly. He then leaned in to kiss me.
There's a reason for everything.
Regardless of whether you see the meaning at the time, or never grasp the gravity of why it happened-there was a purpose. You may not like it, you may not agree with it, and you may not even benefit from it …
But there's always a reason.