I was giving it up for a chance of having a new beginning with her, but with the way things had been between us, and how I'd left her yesterday after work, I began to question if I'd made the right decision. Yes, my choice to move on and look toward the future with Eden was right. But it was how I'd gone about it that made me apprehensive. Nothing had gone right between us all week. The fight, the avoidance, inadvertently leading her to believe I was embarking on a new life without her.
It was all too much.
But today was the day I'd get everything in place so I could set the record straight.
Since I didn't have much more than personal effects to move, I'd rented a small truck and was able to get everything moved in one trip. While I waited for the furniture to be delivered, I headed to the condo to do one final sweep, making sure I'd gotten everything out, and cleaned up what little mess I'd made this morning.
Once the furniture was brought to the house and set up, everything else was easy. Unpacking helped the time move quickly, and I found myself impatient for the day to be over. I finally had everything put away and cleaned up just in time to grab a beer from my newly stocked fridge and head out to the dock. As soon as I sat down with my legs dangling over the edge, ready to take my first swig of the cold beer, my phone vibrated in my pocket. My heart clenched when I saw it was a text from Eden.
Will you be back in the office tomorrow?
I was a little stunned that she'd reached out to me, considering she hadn't done that since before everything went to hell in a hand basket. But I didn't waste any time responding.
Yeah. Why? Do you need something?
It took her a few minutes to reply. But once she did, I began to worry.
I don't think I'll be able to make it in. Just wanted to make sure you were gonna be there.
I immediately began to blow her phone up with questions, wondering if she was okay, if she was sick, if there was anything she needed. But she never answered. By my third beer, I'd gone beyond obsessing over her, and had even tried to call her, which proved to be unsuccessful. Rather than leave her a message, I chose to go back to texts. If she wouldn't answer, then I'd just have to type everything out, knowing she'd at least read it.
Live with me.
Marry me.
Grow old with me.
Have babies with me.
Share your life with me.
Of course, she never responded to any of it. I didn't expect her to. But at least she'd know how I felt. I didn't want her to go on any longer under the misconception that I had given up. I wished I could've told her face to face, but she didn't give me that option. So I did what I had to in order for the record to be set straight.
Once again, I couldn't sleep. It was comforting knowing I was on a new bed, in a new house, my fresh start, but not knowing Eden's frame of mind made me uneasy. I'd tossed and turned all night before dragging myself out of bed when my alarm sounded. Knowing I wouldn't get to see her face at least once until Monday made it difficult to find any motivation to start my day, but I had a company to run. I couldn't spend my life consumed by Eden, no matter how much of a priority she was.
Janette came to my office just before five, needing to go over a few things. Apparently, the story of my arrest had disappeared, the public had moved on to more important news. And people were no longer concerned with my ability to do business. She asked how things were with Gabi, and then offered a comforting smile when I explained how we'd ended it.
"Have you talked at all to Eden?" I asked before she got up to leave.
She froze for a moment, and that was enough of a reaction to answer my question. She must've known she couldn't lie, because she settled into the chair. "I saw her in the hall yesterday and spoke to her for a few minutes, but she was busy so I let her go. I finally gave in and went to her office before she left."
"And … ?"
"I started off by telling her my story. I could tell she was a little taken aback by my forwardness, but she sat there and listened. Once I got to the part about having to give my baby up for adoption, and not knowing if it was a boy or girl, she seemed to understand where I was going with it. But don't worry, I didn't tell her I'd asked you. All I said was that you'd mentioned she was adopted, and I was able to figure out the rest."
"And how did she take it? How was she?" My questions were rushed and frantic. "She sent me a text last night saying she wouldn't be in today. Was she upset when you left her?"
"She didn't seem to be. We had dinner last night to talk about everything, and she seemed accepting of it all. She told me all about her childhood, her brother, how she found me. Then we talked about Trevor and Landon. I got a little choked up when she referred to them as her brothers. But when we left the restaurant, she didn't seem upset. Maybe a little overwhelmed. She probably just needed to take a day to absorb everything. I wouldn't think too much about it or let it bother you."
I ran my hands over my face and took a moment to calm down. "Things have just been so weird between us. She's been so distant, and I don't know how to handle it. I don't want to lose her. I love her, and I need her to know that without me pointing out everything I've done for her."
"What all have you done?"
"I bought a house."
"For her?" Janette's eyes widened and she moved to the edge of her seat.
"Not really. Kind of. I mean, it was for me. I needed out of that condo, put it all behind me. But yes, when I went looking at houses, and then found the one I bought, I had her in mind. I wanted a place we could call our own. Something we could raise a family in."
"And she doesn't know?"
I shook my head, but decided to explain. "She wanted me to take some time to figure out who I am and do things for myself. That's what I have been doing, but also with her in mind. If I tell her these things, she'll think I did them all for her. She won't believe that I've done what she's asked of me. I was hoping I could just wait for her to come to me, but I don't think that's going to happen. Ever since last Friday, she's been pulling away from me."
"And you've let her know you're still interested in her?" The way she asked led me to question if she knew more than she was letting on, but I ignored it, hoping I'd be able to learn the truth through this conversation instead of pressing her for information.
"I might've said some things that could've maybe given her the idea that I'd given up. But I tried to reach out to her last night to let her know I hadn't. After she texted me about not being in today, I tried calling her. I sent her more texts, making it very obvious what I wanted."
"Just give her time, Dane. As much as you've had on your plate this last month, so has she. Think about it … she's had to watch you play the role of someone else's hero. Whether she understands or not doesn't matter. No woman wants to sit by and watch her man strap on a cape and fly off to save another woman-especially another woman with a lifetime of history with the man she loves."
"Did she tell you this?"
"She didn't have to. I'm a woman. I know how we operate." She winked at me and stood with a smile. "Everything will work out, Dane. You were right when you said she has abandonment issues, and those fears don't go away overnight. Trust her, and in turn, she'll trust you."
Her words rolled through my head on repeat long after Janette left my office. She hadn't told me anything I didn't already know, but just hearing someone else say them changed everything. She was right … I couldn't expect Eden to trust me if I didn't show her the same respect. I started to feel more secure in the prospect of eventually having Eden by my side.
Until I checked my email.
Preparing to shut down my computer for the weekend, I happened to see I had an email from the HR department. As soon as I opened it, my stomach flipped. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I'd never felt the weight of defeat like this before. It was completely debilitating.
Displayed on the screen in front of me was notice of resignation for Eden Clare.
Effective immediately.
25
I must've dialed Eden's number a hundred times, but she never answered. In fact, it never even rang. It went straight to voicemail as if she'd blocked my calls. I sent her a dozen messages. Rather than the standard "delivered" or "read" message beneath the text, it was blank.
Eden had officially cut me out of her life.
I didn't want to go home and be surrounded by the reminders of my failures. So I decided to head straight to the bar from work. I found myself at the same table I sat at the night I met Eden, for the same reasons as before-not wanting to go home. Only this time, I wasn't in need of an escape from the person at home waiting for me. It was because the one person I truly wanted to be there never would. And that was something I wasn't ready to accept yet.