She seemed sad, sorrow dimming her eyes, but then again, I wasn't exactly sure what I expected. "I'm really glad to hear that. You deserve some peace after everything that's happened lately. And honestly, you haven't had your own identity since you were a teenager. I think it's good for you to find that. Learn who you are."
"I already know who I am. I'm the same person I've always been. The only difference is now I'm single and don't have to worry about taking care of someone else. But regardless if I'm with someone or not, I'll still be the person who wants to care for others. That's who I am at the core. Who I always will be. Making others happy is what makes me happy."
"So what kinds of things are you doing with your time?"
I smirked, about to tease her for asking a personal question, but I didn't want this conversation to end. I didn't want to send her off to her office after days of not having any time with her. So instead of throwing her rules back in her face, I turned my computer screen to face her. "I'm redecorating. Turns out, I know nothing about style. Help me pick out a couch. These are the ones I narrowed it down to."
Her eyes lit up as she leaned closer to see the images. "I like the beige one. It's mature looking. It's the epitome of what I picture for a family room. But the black one is more manly. It all depends if you're looking to have a bachelor vibe to the room. One says family man while the other hints to a sophisticated single guy." She was fishing, I could tell. But I wouldn't give in.
I turned the monitor again and added the couch to the list for the store to put on my order. Then I pulled up the next set of options, moving the monitor for her to see them. "What about end tables? And do I need a coffee table?"
"That all depends on the entertainment center. You want them to match."
I switched the screen to the options for wall units and let her choose one.
"I like the mahogany one. You could display trinkets and things behind the glass doors, and it still has a lot of room for a big TV. But if you go with the black couch, that would probably clash. So I'd say the more industrial looking one would go better with the black. It would fit with the single man vibe."
Refusing to look her in the eye, knowing I'd give away more than I cared to, I returned to the end tables and gave her a moment to look at the options.
"It's kind of hard to pick when I don't know which couch you're getting."
I snickered and raised an eyebrow. "You did fine picking out a wall unit without knowing. Who knows, maybe I'll end up changing my mind about all of it depending on which end tables I like the best. I like how you're pairing the furniture. It's easier to see it all in my head."
"Okay … " She adjusted in her seat to get closer to the computer again. "The solid mahogany matches the entertainment center, and like the beige couch, it's mature and seems fitting for a family room."
I waited for her to give me other opinions, and when she didn't, I saw through her. "And which one would go with the black couch?"
"Oh, the single man feel … yeah. Well … " Her eyes softened as she focused on the screen in front of her. The disappointment rolled off her in waves. "Out of these, I'd have to say the one that's stained black with the glass tops, and the matching coffee table. But honestly, if you can find one that matches the TV stand, that would be best."
"Yeah, I didn't see any on this site. I'll probably have to look around for one of those. But you're right-it should match the entire room. See? Look how much you're helping me. I've never decorated a room before. Without your eye, this could've been a disaster. Now … " I switched to another screen. "What do you think of these kitchen tables?"
"Are you redoing your whole place?"
I shrugged. "Gabi had picked out all the furniture, so yeah, I need everything."
With a nod, she turned her attention to the options of kitchen tables I'd shown her. "These larger ones are too big for one person. Those are more for families. You'd need one of these smaller ones."
"I was thinking the same thing. I mean, it's only me, but what if I have people over?"
She eyed me with curiosity and smirked. "What kind of company would you have over? Have you made new friends in the last few days?"
"You never know. I could have a woman over for dinner … or breakfast." I was pretty sure I'd gone too far with that statement. She quickly glanced away and seemed to have grown uncomfortable. I wanted to say something to ease her mind, but she didn't let me.
"Then go with this one. It comes with a removable center so it can either seat four or six." Without looking at me again, she stood from her seat and stepped away from the desk. "If that's all, I have to get to work. I was just making sure we were okay … and it seems like we are."
"Whatever happened to that house you found?" I called out, halting her escape.
"I wasn't able to get it." She didn't offer any other explanation before disappearing into her office, closing the door behind her. It seemed she wasn't ready to keep it open, or the blinds for that matter. But I couldn't obsess over it. I'd led her to believe I was taking time to be single, and possibly meet someone. I could've corrected her, but after ignoring her for a few days, she finally admitted she'd missed my attention. I only needed to get through the weekend, get everything in place, and I knew it would all be okay.
She needed to miss me as much as I'd missed her.
And then she'd be willing to see how much she wanted to be with me.
It wasn't a game I'd set out to play, but one that had fallen into my lap. If it worked, I had to play along. I needed her to know for certain that she wanted the same things I did, because I couldn't chance getting her back, only for her to run away again.
I sent the list of furniture I decided to purchase to the salesman and paid for it over the phone. Delivery was scheduled for the next day, which meant I'd have to miss work. Normally, I would've cared and planned to have it all delivered on Saturday, but I didn't want to wait that long to get moved into the house.
The San Diego Mom buyback went smoothly, which helped ease my mind about taking the next day off. However, for the rest of the day, Eden was quiet and kept to herself. Had I not been so busy, I might've gone to her to make sure she was all right, but every time I finished one thing, another was brought to my attention. When she didn't come to my office at a quarter till five like she always did to ask if I needed anything before she went home, I closed down my computer and went to her.
"I'm getting ready to leave … are you still working?"
She shook her head, keeping her back to me, but other than that, she didn't say anything.
"Okay. So are you about ready to get out of here."
This time, she nodded, but again, said nothing.
"Are you okay, Eden?" I stepped farther into her office and only stopped when she held up her hand.
"I'm okay." Tears filled her voice, and it worried me.
I moved to the side of her desk and took a look at her, concerned by the fact she'd been crying. "What happened?"
"It's fine, Dane. Nothing to worry about. It's personal, and nothing I can't deal with." She tried to smile, although it was weak and lifeless. "I'll be okay. I just need to go home and get some sleep. I'll be back to normal tomorrow."
"Speaking of tomorrow … I won't be here. I have … uh, I have some business to take care of and it should take all day. So I'll need you to fill in for me in case someone needs something right away."
She wiped her face and grabbed her purse off the back of her chair. "Yup. Sounds good."
I didn't want to leave her like this, but I wasn't sure what else to do. She'd erected her walls again, reverting to not speaking of personal matters to me. "Okay. Well, I have to get going. I have a lot to do at home before tomorrow. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"
"I'm sure. Go, Dane. You don't need to wait around for me. You're a busy man."
I nodded but stood back to wait for her. We walked out of the building together, neither saying a word. And when she headed toward her car, I went to mine. It didn't sit well with me, but I was resigned to the fact there wasn't much I could do if she wouldn't let me. But still, it festered for the rest of the evening, which made packing and cleaning take that much longer.
Which also meant I didn't get much sleep.
My alarm went off bright and early the next morning. Moving day was here and encouraged me to get out of bed. Like every morning, I went out to the balcony and leaned over the banister to take in the sight of the pier. This would be the last time I'd get to see the spot where I'd fallen in love with Eden. It was a little bittersweet, yet also slightly painful and worrisome.