I didn't think I'd be able to last five minutes with our new arrangement.
"Janette said she went over the PR strategy with you?" I sat in a chair across from her and tried my best to act as normal as I could manage. When I'd agreed to this, I hadn't expected it to be this difficult.
"Yeah. I was getting ready to type up the notes. I can email them to you when I'm done."
"You can't just tell me what was said?"
Keeping her eyes on her computer screen, she said, "I'm already typing them out. It's easier this way."
"Eden … look at me." When she didn't, I stood and leaned over with my palms flat on her desk, my face close to hers. "Look at me, please."
Finally, her eyes met mine, and I could vividly see the torment inside.
"Is this how it's going to be? You can't even have a conversation with me?"
"What did you expect, Dane? I came to work and was told by our receptionist that you would be late, and that I needed to cover for you until you returned. Since you're never late, I have to assume it was because you had to take care of Gabi. I told you how I would feel every time you had to run to her. Can you at least give me time to adjust to this? It won't happen overnight, but I can assure you, I'll adjust. Soon, I'll be the same assistant you've known me to be, but I need a little bit of time to get there."
"So you're mad at me?"
She sighed and shook her head. "No, Dane. I'm not mad at all. I completely understand the entire situation, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt my feelings. I have emotions and feelings just like everyone else, and this is something that'll take time to get a grip on. I'm sorry. I don't know what else to tell you."
"I'm not the one who cheated on you. I'm not the one who got what I wanted and left. So why are you making me pay for their sins? I understand your trust issues and the reasons for being so guarded, but why am I the one being punished for your past boyfriend's mistakes?" My voice was low and guttural. No matter how hard I fought to reign in my anger, I failed miserably.
Her eyes brightened with ire just before she opened her mouth, catching me off guard. "You're absolutely right, Dane. You're a stand-up guy. You've never done a single thing to cause anyone to not trust you. I have no reason to question your faithfulness."
I recoiled like a snake in a defensive stance. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just because you never went after me while you were with Gabi doesn't mean you didn't still cheat on her. In fact, most people find emotional cheating to be worse than physical. You've already admitted that you fell for me before you left her, and we had a connection before you admitted it to yourself. That's considered cheating on an emotional level. Giving yourself to someone else outside of your committed relationship."
"Are you fucking kidding me right now? I was gone within hours of realizing I had feelings for you. Don't act like I committed some long-term adulterous affair behind closed doors. That's not what happened at all. Where is this coming from?"
"No, I'm not kidding." She stood and rounded her desk, meeting me on the other side. We stood toe to toe, her heels adding height to her short frame, but the anger residing in her made her seem as tall as me. "I'm not condemning you for it, if that's what you're thinking. But you can't act like I have no good reason to doubt you. Aside from my own fears and insecurities, you have a deep and tangled history with Gabi. It doesn't just unravel overnight. And if you were capable of developing feelings for me while being with her, then I can't help but worry you'll do it again-but this time, with her behind my back. This is exactly why I said I couldn't do a relationship with you right now. I can't handle you being the Good Samaritan to another woman. Don't diminish my feelings. They're valid and justified, and I'm entitled to them."
"I thought we were going to remain professional at work."
Finally, she appeared to back down. Her shoulders hunched slightly and she didn't stand as tall. Her weakened confidence struck a nerve in me, and I found myself wanting to provoke her further, if nothing more than to see the light in her eyes again. I didn't want her angry with me, but I didn't want this meek version of her, either.
Without thinking twice, I gathered her into my arms, pulled her against me until our bodies pressed together and aligned in all the right places. Her eyes widened and her lips parted, just in time for my mouth to cover hers. She attempted to fight me, placing her hands on my chest between us, but she didn't get far before giving in.
I swallowed her moan as she gripped my shirt in both hands, arching her body and opening her mouth for me. With my hands on her hips, I lifted her, setting her on her desk. Instantly, her legs wound around mine. I leaned into her, forcing her to hold onto me tighter to keep from losing her balance.
"Dane … " she murmured into my mouth. Her grip loosened enough for her to slide her hands to my belt, where she made a frantic attempt to unbuckle it. When I rolled my hips against her, she practically purred my name again.
I knew this was wrong, this would only make everything worse, but I couldn't stop it. Even if I'd wanted to. She felt so good against me, as if our bodies were made for one another. The way it felt to be with her, inside her, the other night ran through my mind, and I craved that feeling again.
I needed it.
I had to have it.
I slid my hand up her thigh, beneath the hem of her tight skirt. But I didn't let that stop me. I pressed on until my fingertips met the warm flesh of her bare ass. Needing to be closer to her, I hiked her skirt up around her hips and continued to thrust my covered erection against her, eliciting whimper after whimper from her.
Then she lowered my zipper.
And everything stopped.
19
"Wait, wait, wait. Dane, we can't do this." Eden pushed against my chest and forced me to retreat a few steps. She used the space to slide off the desk and right her skirt. My pants were still undone, and I made no move to correct the situation, too stunned to do anything. "This isn't professional."
"I'm sorry. You're right. I guess I got caught up in the moment." I turned to head into my office through the adjoining door. "It won't happen again. Email me those notes, please," I said solemnly while finally having enough sense to fix my zipper.
I didn't bother to close the door behind me, not used to shutting it while she was in her office. So I didn't hear her follow behind me, and only knew of her presence when she started speaking to my back. "In order for this to work, something like that can never happen again. And you can't treat me differently, either. You aren't allowed to be mad at me for stopping you from fucking me against my desk."
I turned around. The entire span of the office stood between us, yet it felt like the space spanned continents. She'd never felt farther away. "If you have the right to question my faithfulness, then I have the right to be upset. Don't worry-I won't take it out on you. I won't treat you differently. I'm fully aware of the sexual harassment laws."
Her shoulders slumped and defeat crossed her eyes. "That's not what I'm saying. I'm not going to accuse you of anything. I just don't want you to mope around or act like I stole your favorite toy. Eventually, someone will catch on, and right now with everything going on with Gabi and your arrest, we can't afford to have people around here talking about us, too."
I scoffed and scratched my chin. "But you did steal my favorite toy."
Eden rolled her eyes and waved me off. "Good. Make jokes. It's easier that way." And then she returned to her office. Although, my heart fissured a little more when she closed the door behind her. As if that wasn't bad enough, the blinds on the window between us were closed, and for the first time, I wished I'd had them installed on my side of the office.
Within minutes, I had Eden's email, full of the notes from her meeting with Janette. I wasn't surprised to find she'd excused Gabi's hospitalization as stress induced following the miscarriage, stating "it had been building over time until the future Mrs. Kauffmann decided to seek treatment." I hated how Janette had referred to Gabi as "the future Mrs. Kauffmann," but I understood the reasons for it-needing to paint me as a family man worried about his fiancée. I think it pained me more knowing Eden had to listen to it, and then type it up for me. As for my arrest, she'd kept it vague and reiterated that no charges were pending.
Needing to get out of the office, I decided to make my way down to PR to talk to Janette. She was good at her job, but there were a few things I needed to set straight with her before she made any more announcements on my behalf.