"That's not true."
"You made me your crutch. I was your vacation, the new scenery that took your mind off your problems at home. But what'll happen when you no longer need a vacation? When you no longer have those same issues … when you don't have anything to run away from anymore? Then what will I be to you? What will that leave for you and me? For us?"
The concern in her tone, the fear and anxiety dripping from every word, suffocated me. What she said made sense, but I didn't believe it. And I had to make her see it was nothing more than apprehension for the unknown. "Eden, you don't give yourself enough credit. You say you were my vacation, but I don't see it that way. You're my salvation, my savior … my solace. You're not some dream destination, but home. Where I want to be-not for a week, a month, or some other short-lived time period. You're the foundation that steadies me, the walls that surround me, the roof that protects me. You're the comfort that frees me. I don't need to be single for however long to know this. I already do. I may have been in a relationship since the day I met you, but if you really look at it, I was single. I took care of myself, didn't have anyone to rely on, and practically lived alone."
"I just don't want you to regret this."
"That's not going to happen." With her shoulders pressed against the side of the pool, I leaned into her, relieved when she allowed me to close the gap between us. When my mouth met hers, she gave in and let me show her how I felt with my lips. It wasn't hasty, but slow and soft. I needed her to know I wasn't rushing this. This kiss or this life. There was no need to, because I knew in my bones this was real. No matter what her fears told her. I'd been to hell and back and now had found my heaven. My Eden.
Her nails scratching the hairs on the back of my head sent a wave of ecstasy through me. I held her tighter and parted her lips with my tongue. My hips rolled into her, my erection pressing against her with enough force to garner a moan. She tightened her legs and began to grind against me. Her body moved like a seductress on the prowl, eliminating all thought from my brain. I didn't care that we were in a pool, fully clothed, in plain sight for anyone peeking out their windows. The rain pelting my skin didn't faze me. All I could focus on was Eden and the things she did to me.
To my body.
My heart.
My life.
"Take me upstairs," she murmured into my mouth.
I nipped her pouty bottom lip and opened my eyes, needing to see her to believe this was all real. "Are you sure? I can let you go right now and we can cool off in the pool before heading up. We don't have to do this if you're not ready."
"I'm ready, Dane."
Her concerns about rushing things filtered into my thoughts. I couldn't risk her doubting anything about us, and if I had to wait before taking the next step with her, I would. I'd do anything to make sure this didn't end. However, the questions refused to surface. Between my brain and my mouth, the words vanished. Instead of slowing down to offer her time, to make sure this was what she truly desired and not merely what her body craved, I carried her to the steps. I set her down and grabbed her hand before dragging her out of the water behind me.
The night air settled a chill over our wet skin, and without a towel to dry off with, we raced to the elevator right off the path from the pool and huddled together for warmth. I'm sure it didn't take that long for the empty cart to make it's way down, but it seemed like an eternity. The ride up dragged on-although I'm sure the silence filled with chattering teeth didn't help slow down time. Nor did the anticipation of getting inside her apartment.
We left behind a trail of water leading into her foyer, where it puddled beneath my feet as I stood with my heart in my throat. The second the door closed, Eden began to strip off her clothes, keeping her back to me. I couldn't move. I was mesmerized by the show in front of me. The way her body stretched as she pulled her top over her head, the ink on her skin fully coming into view. I was lost in the way her hips danced while she shimmied out of her shorts, leaving her in nothing but her bra and panties. With her wet hair to one side, she peered over her shoulder and offered a confident smile.
In an instant, I found myself tugging at my own clothes, unable to get the wet material off fast enough. I followed Eden into her room, stripping along the way and leaving articles of clothing like breadcrumbs. As I finally got my shirt over my head, Eden came out of her bathroom and set a condom on her nightstand.
That's when it became real.
We were really doing this.
This wasn't a dream.
I stared at the square foil packet, realizing it'd been years since I had to wear one. It brought about a sense of reality. I'd been with one person for the last twelve years. I was sixteen years old the last time I was with anyone new. It wasn't so much insecurity of performing as it was the awareness of the situation. The thought of starting over would be enough to scare anyone-especially starting over with someone new-but it didn't frighten me. In fact, I found myself excited by the thought. It was as though I'd been trapped, held captive in a dark cave for years … no light, no comfort. Just pain and endless gloomy days. And now I was free. Dancing in the sun, breathing in clean air for the first time.
"Is everything okay?" Eden asked timidly, breaking me out of my thoughts.
I met her worried stare and cupped her cheek. "Everything's perfect."
"You seemed to space out there for a second. You had me nervous."
I slid her bra strap off her shoulder with one finger and watched the goose bumps form. She shuddered and clamped her lower lip between her teeth, suppressing her shallow gasps. I lowered my head and pressed my lips to her shoulder before snaking my tongue out and licking her damp skin. Carefully, I walked her back a few steps until she met the bed behind her. With my fingertips trailing lightly down her sides, I found her hips and guided her to the mattress.
She readjusted herself, laying her head on a pillow, her wet hair fanning out beneath her. The soft glow of the bedside lamp highlighted her beautifully perfect body. I wanted nothing more than to stand there and stare at her all night, worshiping every line, every curve, every imperfection that made up this goddess in front of me. I would need a lifetime to gain my fill of her.
As I crawled over her, I realized more than ever how I wanted to take my time. To drag this out for as long as I could, and spend every second memorizing everything I could about her. I started with tasting her skin, alternating between licking and kissing my way up her leg. When I made it to her inner thigh, I paused to savor the scent of her arousal, and then trailed the tip of my nose to her hipbone.
"You're my fresh air, Eden," I whispered against her.
She laced her fingers through my hair and hummed, which sent an electric current through me.
"You're the gentle breeze on a hot day." I kissed her lower belly. "The warmth of a fire on a cold night." Barely touching her skin, I grazed my lips up her abdomen to the space between her breasts. "The dreams that fill my sleep, and the moments right before I wake up, right before I open my eyes." I crawled up her body until I could whisper into her ear while she panted softly beneath me. "You know that peaceful place between sleep and wake? When you're conscious yet not alert? When the comfort of your dream still has you wrapped in its calming waves? You're that place, Eden."
When I pulled my head away to look into her eyes, she held my face between her warm palms. Her fingernails toyed with the scruff along my jaw, which was longer than normal considering it'd been two days since I'd trimmed it. Her eyes never left mine. She lay beneath me, nearly naked, yet I couldn't do anything but become lost in her gaze, trapped by the glowing emeralds.
"You scare me, Dane." Her voice trembled, but I didn't interrupt. Instead, I let her get it all out for fear she'd lose her nerve. "You came into my life, saving me from an unwelcome advance in a bar. You listened to me when I spoke and didn't look at me the way most men do. Maybe that's because you're a faithful man and you weren't single … whatever the reason was, you treated me like a person. And then you offered me a job-you somehow saw what I was capable of and gave me the perfect opportunity to prove it. I still don't know how you knew I was there or why you stormed into the PR department and whisked me away, but you did."
"So why do I scare you?" I asked with whispered words, nothing more than audible exhales against her lips.
"Because I don't know when you stole my heart. I don't remember a specific moment when I made the conscious decision to give it to you. You sat with me at a bar to ward off other men, and somehow, that left me comfortable with you. I never felt like you were a stranger, but someone I've known my whole life, even if I didn't really know anything about you. I woke up one morning and my heart was no longer in my chest, and I couldn't remember the last time it belonged to me. You came in and swept me up like a hurricane. I wasn't prepared for it, and now I'm scared of the destruction that'll be left behind when you're gone."