She dropped her forehead to my chest and giggled softly.
I knew she was nervous, could feel it in the way her body trembled against mine, so I leaned down enough to bring my lips to her ear. "Want to go for a walk on the beach?"
"Yeah. That actually sounds nice." She pulled her head away and tugged lightly on my tie. "But you should probably change your clothes."
"I have no idea what I packed. I hope I have something to wear." I grabbed my bag from the back seat and followed her upstairs.
Things between us became a little awkward once we made it inside. It was like we knew we were on the verge of taking a big step and it left us both anxious. Eden wasn't the type of girl to give in easily, and I knew that. I had no intentions of rushing anything, especially since I'd literally just closed the door on a twelve-year relationship. But the sexual tension was heavy around us, and it left me rushing to change my clothes so we could finally breathe again.
Holding her hand as we walked along the surf was surreal and freeing. I couldn't remember the last time I held hands on the beach, feeling the sand beneath my feet and the waves crashing against my legs. I no longer felt like a lonely man wandering aimlessly. I now had someone with me, next to me, sharing things with me. Someone I cared about, who cared about me.
We walked to the pier, which was actually closer to her place than mine, before turning around. We almost made it to her complex when the clouds above decided to shower us in rain. It was nothing new to me. Living in Florida all my life, I was used to the weather turning on a dime. The random and sudden spurts of water didn't surprise me, but Eden acted like it was a miracle.
She stopped walking, closed her eyes, and looked to the heavens with her arms outstretched. God, she was so fucking beautiful. I never wanted this moment to stop. I wanted to watch her like this forever. I wanted to live in her world with her, excited about rain.
After soaking it all in, she finally looked at me again. That's when I realized I had the biggest shit-eating grin on my face. I didn't think I had ever felt contentment like this before in my life. Every time I thought I couldn't be happier, Eden surprised me and showed me just how wrong I was.
"Why are you smiling like that?" I asked, unable to wipe the grin off my face.
"It's raining, at night, on the beach. This is like a scene from a romance movie or something."
"Have you ever been kissed in the rain?"
"I'm sure I have." Her smile began to change.
"Ever been kissed in the rain, at night, on the beach?"
"Can't say I have."
And there it was. The shy smile. The one that curled her lips slightly at the corners as her eyes turned downward. I loved and hated that smile. I loved that it showcased her vulnerability-it reminded me I could hurt her as much as she could me. But at the same time, I hated how insecure she seemed. She had nothing to be insecure about. Absolutely nothing.
"Well, you should. It sounds romantic." I smirked, knowing I was playing her.
I wanted to make her shed the shyness, rid herself of the doubt she claimed she didn't have. I knew she was strong; I had seen it many times before. But I wasn't about to give in to her. I would make her bury that shit deep in the sand and show me the temptress I knew she was.
"The rain never lasts long," I pointed out.
That's all it took for her to wrap her arms around my neck. She raised herself onto her tiptoes as I held her around her waist. The moment her rain-soaked lips met mine, the sky decided to open up and downpour. But that didn't stop us. It didn't make us run for shelter or let go. It made us hold on tighter, kiss harder, and give in to what we had been fighting against all this time.
14
Drenched from the rain and breathless from the kiss, we clung to one another as we made our way up the beach through the wet sand to her building. While rinsing our feet off in the spigot by the pool, I had an idea. "Let's go swimming."
Eden glanced at the empty deck around us and then at the pool, the light from the deep end bringing attention to the rain spattering against the surface. "Do you even have a bathing suit?"
I grinned and kissed her forehead, tugging her body close. "No, but we're already wet."
"You want to go swimming in our clothes?"
"Why not?"
Her lips twisted in contemplation while she stared at the empty body of water. "You know I can't swim, so we'd pretty much just be wading in the shallow end."
"I'll teach you."
She slapped my chest and laughed, although she moved toward the steps and railing. "You can't teach me tonight. I'm sure it'll take a lot more than one time to learn."
"Don't underestimate my abilities, Eden."
I followed her into the water, and as soon as we were both all the way in-clothes and all-I swept her up. Her legs instantly went around my waist and her arms wrapped around my neck. I swallowed her faint squeal with my mouth and held her close as I waded farther into the pool, only stopping when the water reached my shoulders.
"This is how you plan to teach me?" she asked while clinging to me.
I ran the tip of my nose along her cheek before drawing my lips to her ear. "Yeah."
She giggled, but as soon as her back met the side of the pool, she gasped and held her breath.
"I want to do for you what you've done for me, Eden." I watched the shimmer of the water glisten off her eyes as raindrops continued to cascade down her face. "You've been there for me every single time I've needed it, whether you meant to be or not. I just want to show you I can lift you, carry you, hold you up when you need it, too."
She lowered her head until her soft lips met mine, then she slowly pulled away.
"I mean it, Eden. That night at the bar, when we first met … I went there to prolong going home. All I wanted was a beer and maybe an extra hour before facing Gabi. Then there was you, and for thirty minutes, I actually enjoyed myself. I laughed and smiled and felt something for the first time in years. Not once did I ever think there was anything wrong with me avoiding home, until I met you."
She shook her head, her forehead lined with confusion. "How did I … ?"
"Eden, listen to me. At the time, it wasn't you. It could've been anyone-but it wasn't. My grandma always told me there are bumps in every road, so I thought what I was going through was another bump. I thought it was normal to go through periods of rough patches, mourning the couple we used to be and waiting for things to get better to forge a new path. It's all I knew."
"So what changed? What did I have to do with that?"
"You helped me see that I deserved more. You made me want better for myself. That night in the bar, sitting there and laughing without a drink in my hand, without a worry about things going wrong … you saved me. I didn't know it at the time. I couldn't grasp the concept of having that feeling every day, but it was the beginning of you being there for me. Then the next day at the office, you agreed to work for me. And once again, you saved me. Like the last time, I didn't realize it, and you didn't do it with a purpose. It just happened."
"I don't follow. How did I save you by working for you? Your company was doing fine before me."
I loved that she couldn't see what she'd done for me-as a person, as a man, as a business owner. "You being my assistant allowed you to be in my life five days a week. Monday through Friday, you were there. You'd randomly ask how I was doing, if I needed anything. You've sat and had lunch with me-nothing but sandwiches and mundane conversations about other people in the building, gossip you heard in the halls. It's easy with you. It's easy to be myself-the parts of me I'd almost forgotten were there, parts that probably would've died without you. You make me laugh without trying, make me smile with nothing more than a look."
Eden slid her hands to my shoulders and pushed against me, creating space between us. Even though her legs were still locked around my waist, our bodies still connected, the distance between our torsos and faces nearly gutted me. I fought the urge to hold her closer and never let her go.
"This is why I said I think you should spend time by yourself. Learn who you are. We don't need to rush into anything, Dane. I'll be here. You'll be here. And after taking time to experience life again, if you still feel this way about me, then we can be together."
"Why are you so adamant about me being single? I know what I want."
"You're not even listening to yourself." Her tone was sad, not angry. Pitiful almost. Her eyes held sympathy as they regarded me, held me into her stare. There was a war waging in her, and I wanted to wave the white flag to end it. "It's not me … you said yourself it could've been anyone. You were lonely and depressed, and anyone giving you attention or an ounce of their time would've had the same effect on you. You don't want me. You just don't want Gabi and the relationship you had with her."