Dane(30)

"That's not my problem." I headed for the front door and said, "You're  not my problem anymore," under my breath. And then I left. Walked out.  Let the door close behind me and moved on. Like I should've done so long  ago. Like I'd desperately wanted to do yesterday.

But now I could do so with a clean conscience.

Now I was free of the binds that had held me prisoner for over ten years of my life.



"Morning, Mr. Kauffmann," Gina greeted me when I walked into the lobby.

Ignoring the running joke of her refusal to call me Dane, I barked,  "Morning." I barely glanced at her, but it was enough to recognize the  offense in her blue eyes caused by my clipped tone. I had to disregard  the pang in my chest at the sight. I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't  want to upset her. She was like a mother to me at the office, but I  couldn't push my anger aside long enough to correct it.

I made a mental note to give her a gift, possibly a bonus or an extra  paid vacation. Once my head cleared, I'd have to remember to have two  dozen yellow roses-her favorite-and some Godiva chocolates delivered to  her, as well as personally offer her my sincerest apologies.

When my head cleared.

In the meantime, I stalked back to my office to spend hours alone in silence.

I sat at my desk, blankly staring at the same piece of paper for God  knows how long. I couldn't concentrate on anything. The words on the  page were nothing but black letters, blurring and blending together  until I saw nothing more than symbols that didn't represent anything.  The only thoughts running through my mind were of the anger and pure  disgust I felt toward Gabi.

All I could think about was how I had stayed with her, hoping to save  her from the horrible things that had happened to her through no fault  of her own. But that horrible experience never existed. I had been  miserable for years-bleak and broken. But I stayed because I'd made a  promise. A promise to protect her. I always put Gabi before myself.  Always. Finding out it was all a lie was like I had been tricked,  schemed into staying with her. I was played, plain and simple. I gave  her a house, clothes, cars, money, anything and everything she'd ever  desired. The only thing I cared about or needed was being happy. But I  didn't get that because of Gabi. Because of her lies, betrayal, and  deceit.

I hated how even now, at work, she still stole my thoughts. I'd left  her, walked out on her, yet I hadn't been able to let go of it. The  hatred burned bright, threatening to take me down if I didn't stop  obsessing over it. I thought coming to the office would help, but it  didn't. Nothing seemed to take away the fact that my world had been  completely turned upside down.

"Dane? Everything okay?" Eden's voice filtered through the room and  bathed me, providing everything I needed in one nanosecond. I was  wrong … there was something that would help me. And she stood in the  doorway between our offices, leaning in with her hand on the frame. She  was always there … especially when I needed her. I knew the answers I  sought were right there within my grasp, but I couldn't pull the trigger  and take that leap of faith. "I was expecting that file like an hour  ago."         

     



 

I glanced down to the paper I'd done nothing but stare at and closed the  folder. "I'm sorry. I haven't been able to concentrate. I don't think  I've gotten past the first sentence. But I trust you, so I'll take your  word for it and sign off on it. If you think Grayson is a good company  to invest in, then I'll take it."

"Bookers," she said, and then made her way to my desk. I stared at her  in confusion as she took a seat and regarded me for a moment. Pity  stared back at me. "The company is Bookers. Grayson is the one I  suggested you decline."

"Oh … right." I shook my head, hoping she didn't pick up on the chaos  running through my mind. Everything had changed. And no matter what I  did, I couldn't stop this morning's events from playing on constant  repeat, drowning me in despair. "Good thing you corrected me. That  could've been a disaster."

"Are you all right? And please, don't lie to me. I know we kind of ended  things in a weird place yesterday on the beach, and then your text  message … but that doesn't mean I don't care. Just because I'm your  employee and you're my boss doesn't mean I can't be concerned."

I nodded, then thought better of it. She'd see right through any lie I'd  try to pass off as truth. Eden was the only person who truly saw me,  really knew me … and it'd be pointless to be anything but honest with her.  "I left Gabi this morning."

Her eyes widened slightly before she corrected her reaction. She  remained stoic, unmoving while taking in my confession. Her chest rose  and fell in even waves with each breath, all while keeping her gaze  locked on mine. She cleared her throat and asked, "What made you decide  to do that?"

I could tell she was worried it had something to do with her. It was in  her tone, the uneasiness in which she sat across from me. Her shoulders  were stiff and concern deepened the lines around her painted lips. I  knew I needed to ease her mind, but I wasn't ready to say the words out  loud yet. I still needed to come to terms with everything that had  happened.

Instead, I settled on a vague truth. "The reality of our relationship  didn't match the imaginary one I'd been living in for the last twelve  years. She wasn't the person I thought she was-or the one I claimed to  love. It was all a lie, and my eyes were finally opened to the truth."

"Want to talk about it?"

I shook my head and leaned back in my chair. "No, but thank you."

"Well, if you need me … you know where to find me." With a genuine smile, she retreated to her desk.

For the first time in weeks, Eden brought me a sandwich for lunch. It  was unexpected to say the least, but not near as surprising as when she  sat across from me with her own food. In silence, we both removed the  paper wrappers and started to eat.

"What happened … Heidi and your new friends didn't want you to sit with  them at the lunch table?" I teased, producing the first smile of the  day.

"I always preferred the bathroom stalls over the cool kids' table anyhow."

"Oh, so now my office is the bathroom stall?" And there went the first chuckle.

Eden shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Figuratively speaking," she said with a coy grin.

Not much was said during lunch, or even after. Throughout the day, I'd  peer across the room and catch her watching me through the window. She  had the blinds down, but not closed-just enough to see the other person  without being noticeable.

She came into my office a few times to drop off papers, get my  signature, or ask a question. Each time, she lingered a little bit  longer than the last. I could tell she wanted me to talk to her about  what had me so quiet, but she never pushed. Instead, she made herself  available for me if I needed it. Her intentions were clear. She was  there for me if I needed her. Eden had managed to open me like a  well-read book. She'd gotten me to purge emotions and feelings that had  been dormant for so long.

That terrified me.

With fifteen minutes left of the work day, she knocked on the open door,  but didn't invite herself in. "I'm getting ready to head out. Anything  you need before Monday?"

"Monday? What about tomorrow? Will you not be here?" Panic started to  set in at the prospect of not seeing her for three days. Even though  we'd barely spoken today, I liked knowing she was around. I didn't want  to imagine being here alone for an entire day without her.

She giggled and raised a brow at me. "Dane, tomorrow is a holiday. No one will be here."

Somehow, I'd lost all sense of time. I'd forgotten all about the long  weekend, and I suddenly dreaded thinking of spending it by myself. The  thought of being alone for one day was almost too much to bear, but  three … I wouldn't survive three.         

     



 

"So … need anything?"

Absentmindedly, I shook my head.

The second she returned to her office, my heart sank. Eden had been the  only person to notice my disposition. She was the only one to ask how I  was and offer to listen if I needed someone to talk to. She made her  presence known, hanging in the shadows all day in the event I was ready  to open up and relieve my system of the worry that consumed me. No one  else had done that. No one else had ever bothered to take the time to be  there for me.

For the last twelve years, I'd been living a lie.

It was time to accept the truth.

I pulled open a drawer for the filing cabinet behind my desk and quickly  searched the tabs for the paper I sought. Finding it, I grabbed it from  its folder and slammed the drawer closed. I felt like I was in a race,  seconds away from losing. And I was tired of losing. It was time to win.

Catching Eden by surprise, I stormed into her office. Her emerald gaze  met mine, wide with shock, bright with hope. Until I placed the paper on  the desk in front of her. I didn't need to say anything. She glanced at  it and gasped. Her small hand covered her gaping mouth in a feeble  attempt to hide her disbelief. She picked it up and then turned to face  me, her eyes darting back and forth between mine and the paper in front  of her, searching for answers.