I'd built my entire life around Gabi. My past was carved by her, leading the way to the present I now suffered in. And I couldn't help but imagine the future I'd be left with if I didn't make a change. We weren't kids anymore. Children grow up and are forced to make decisions that'll pave the path for the rest of their lives, and I had to accept that I'd gotten older. I'd grown up. Yet I still hadn't managed to pave my path. I'd followed the proverbial yellow brick road Gabi had laid with her grief and depression. I couldn't continue down that path anymore.
By the time I made it to my condo, I'd come to terms with the fork in the road I was faced with. Right or left. And it was about time I turned on my blinker. One way or another. I couldn't sit idle any longer.
So as I turned the key in the deadbolt and opened the door, I readied myself to make the jump.
To make a choice.
To choose me.
10
The condo was empty, completely motionless and silent. I entered with caution, an eerie feeling washing over me. I hadn't let Gabi know I was on my way home, but I didn't think I had to. I didn't expect her to not be here when I got back. She was always here, curled up in bed, crying, sleeping … anything but leaving the place. Except now, she was gone. The bed was unmade and dishes littered the kitchen as well as her nightstand. Clothes were strewn across the floor, as if she'd changed outfits fifty times before going … wherever she went.
I became lost in my thoughts as I began to straighten everything up … until my phone rang. I grabbed it from my pocket and instantly smiled when I saw Eden's name flash across the screen. "I left you in the car not even ten minutes ago. Miss me already?" I teased as I answered.
A wispy giggle flooded the line and erased the tension that had filled me since walking through the front door. "You left your computer bag in the car. I have it. I'm walking out now to run some errands-my fridge is empty and I'm starving-so I can swing it by you if that's okay."
"Yeah, that works. I'll meet you down in the lobby in five."
My heart pounded in my chest. I couldn't explain it. I'd literally just seen her, yet the thought of seeing her again made me excited. I felt like a teenager all over again. And I realized it was the first time in years I'd felt that way. The pounding in my chest, the fidgety hands, the rushing around to make sure I looked okay. It was a thrill I'd forgotten about, one I didn't think I was capable of feeling again. But here I was, acting like an adolescent waiting on the prettiest girl in school by her locker.
I quickly finished cleaning the place and then rushed downstairs to the lobby. As soon as the elevator doors opened, I spotted Eden waiting by the front desk with my laptop bag in hand. She had changed since coming home. Instead of the long skirt she had worn, she now donned jean shorts and a tank top. Casual. She seemed comfortable in everything she wore. Didn't matter if it was a black dress and heels, a short skirt for a night out, nice pants and top for work, or jeans and a T-shirt … she carried herself like she belonged in anything she had on.
"Thank you for grabbing this. My mind must've been on overload by the time we landed." When I took the bag from her grasp, I couldn't stop the warmth from coursing through me as her fingers grazed mine.
"Is everything all right? Was she okay when you got home?"
I shook my head and stared at the floor, unsure of what to say. I'd grown so comfortable talking to Eden, but this was different. Finally, I'd made up my mind. I'd reached a decision about what I should do. What I needed to do. But it seemed as though talking to someone other than Gabi about it first was … wrong.
"What happened? Is everything all right?" Her concern was palpable and forced me to look at her.
"Oh, yeah. She just wasn't here when I got home. Actually, she's still not here."
"Where is she?" Eden asked with worried, wide eyes.
I shrugged, unable to make anything up. "I'm not sure."
"Have you spoken to her at all since we flew out yesterday morning?"
"No. By the time I got to the room last night, I knew it'd be too late here. I didn't want to wake her. Not to mention, I didn't exactly expect her to have gone anywhere."
"So you haven't called her since we landed?"
Normally, her repeated questions would've bothered me, but I knew she wasn't asking in a judgmental way. She was concerned for me, and apparently for Gabi, as well, and it was obvious in her worried stare. I laid my hand on her shoulder and said, "I will when I go upstairs. I've been cleaning up since walking through the door."
"Cleaning up? What happened?"
"Yeah … " I hesitated, ready to swallow my words. "She stays in bed a lot, so the covers were all over the place. And she tends to leave dishes lying around when she's done with them." I gritted my teeth, angry at myself for painting Gabi in such a bad light in front of someone she didn't even know. "I'm making it sound worse than it is. She's-"
"Depressed. I know, Dane. You don't have to explain it to me."
An ache spread through my chest, leaving behind a crater I didn't think would ever heal. In the midst of protecting Gabi, I hadn't realized I wasn't protecting her at all. I did nothing but make up excuses for her and her behavior. I'd coddled her. Instead of pushing her to do better, to get back on her own two feet, I enabled her to remain in the black hole she'd hidden herself in.
I couldn't believe I'd never realized that before now.
It was so obvious.
Eden placed her hand high on my chest, her fingertips reaching my shoulder. "I'm here for you if you need anything. No matter what is it. I know this has to be tough for you, but I have faith everything will work out the way it's supposed to."
I opened my mouth to tell her about the decision I made, but before the words came out, movement behind Eden caught my attention. I glanced over her shoulder just in time to see Gabi walking our way. Her brows were drawn, pinched in the middle, a scowl shadowing her face. In an instant, I took a step away from Eden, causing her hand to fall from my chest. She stiffened and then followed my gaze, her breath hitching the moment she caught sight of Gabi.
"When did you get home?" Gabi asked, looking directly at me.
"Fifteen minutes ago. I was actually getting ready to call you."
She glanced at Eden with her lips pursed, disdain and pain written into her features.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Gabi, this is Eden, my assistant. Eden, this is Gabi, my … fiancée." Gabi didn't miss the pause between my words and shifted her gaze to me. Her expression cut me deep, the hurt and offense in her eyes nearly gutted me. Hell, the guilt over my own hesitation wrapped around my chest and threatened to squeeze the life out of me. "Eden was dropping off my computer."
"Where was it?" Gabi asked no one in particular.
While I tried to sort out an answer, Eden spoke up. "He left it in the car. I had to drive past your building on the way to the grocery store so I figured I'd drop it off."
"The car? What car?" She turned her wounded eyes to me.
But again, Eden spoke for me. "The town car from the airport."
"Wait." Gabi held up her hand and glanced between the two of us. "You went, too?" Her words were soft yet so full of pain they dripped with unbridled agony. As if I hadn't already felt bad enough, having Gabi find out this way made it all worse.
"I'm sorry," Eden said with a shake of her head and a step in the opposite direction. "I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I just wanted to return his computer before work tomorrow." She retreated another step. "It was really great to finally meet you, Gabi. I've heard so much about you, and now I can put a face to the name." She glanced at me and nodded once. "Dane, I'll see you at the office in the morning."
And then she walked away.
Leaving Gabi and me frozen in silence.
Wrapped in elevated emotions.
"Put a face to the name?" Gabi asked in a whispered tone, glaring at me. "Heard so much about me? What have you told her, Dane? What kinds of things have you talked about with her-about me?"
I gently held her elbow and guided her toward the elevator bank, needing to get her away from the front desk. "She's my assistant, Gabi. Of course she knows about you."
"But she doesn't know what I look like? What happened to the pictures of us on your desk?"
I swallowed harshly as the bell rang and the mirrored doors opened. Without a word, we stepped inside the empty car and I pressed the button to our floor, waiting for the doors to close before resuming our conversation. I knew she'd get loud once I answered her. "They're in my drawer."
"Why?" Devastation lilted her question.