"I get it. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."
I almost grew lost in her eyes. The pull they had on me was unlike anything I'd ever felt, and I had to shake my head and look away to keep from drowning in them. "We moved home and I bought a condo immediately. She no longer spoke to her mom and my parents were always gone, so we needed a place of our own. We went looking and I bought the first place she fell in love with. It was nice, but I liked it more because she was so excited about it. It appeased her. It didn't matter what satisfied me anymore-it was all about her and her having everything. I would have given her the moon if it had been possible. The way she lit up at the condo and the view of the Gulf put a smile on my face. When I took her furniture shopping, I let her pick everything. The entire place was hers and I didn't mind one bit.
"A few years after we moved home, she found out about her stepdad dying. It was sudden and unexpected. He was out in the yard, cutting the grass, when he had a massive heart attack and passed away. Gabi's mom took it hard. She grew even more detached from reality and distanced herself even more from her daughter. Gabi didn't take the news of her stepdad or her mother's breakdown well, which I didn't fully understand. She didn't like her mom very much and didn't even speak about her stepdad at all prior to that. She hadn't talked to her mom in years and it had been even longer since she had seen her. But it was still her mom, nonetheless, and I guess that kind of thing would've been hard no matter what kind of relationship they had."
I glanced at Eden, and I worried about how she analyzed the situation when hearing the story of Gabi and her mother. I hadn't thought about Eden's situation with her own mother, and I suddenly felt horrible for speaking about it without thinking. But she offered me a small, comforting grin, and let me continue.
"Things got even worse when they discovered her stepbrother had inherited everything, leaving her mom with nothing. Gabi battled with herself about what to do, but ultimately decided it wasn't her fight and let her mother deal with it alone. It wasn't an easy decision to make, and it caused her to fall into another deep bout of depression."
"Why?" Eden's whispered word surrounded me like a fleece blanket, warm and comforting.
"She felt responsible for her mother's downward spiral. She took the blame on herself because she'd decided not to get involved. And I began to worry I'd never see the girl I loved. The unhappier she became, the more I followed her down the dark path. But with time and therapy, she began to come out of it. She wasn't the same as she was before, and it started to seem as if I lost more of her with each tragedy that struck our lives. It was like I lost part of myself each time, as well. And every time, our relationship grew darker and darker. Things just became even worse no matter what I did to try to fix it. I buried myself in work and gave her the space she needed, hoping things would turn around. Leaving her wasn't an option, so I stayed and made the most of it."
"Why do you keep saying leaving wasn't an option? I don't understand."
"I'd promised her I'd always protect her. I'd keep her safe. I couldn't do that if I left."
"Dane," she breathed out and moved closer to me, her arm crossing my body to my other shoulder in support. "That's not a reason to stay with someone."
"I know … but I had faith that if we stuck it out, things would get better again."
"And they did?"
"Yeah. She was back to being happy-or happier than she was-in time for our eleventh anniversary. I always did something for her every year, so I planned a cruise for us to go on. We had so much fun. It was like I had my old Gabriella again." I smirked and stared at my hands as I thought about that trip. "On the night of the formal dinner, I had it all set up with the wait staff. I proposed at the table in the middle of the dining room. People clapped and cheered all around, and Gabi acted surprised, as if she had no idea it was coming."
"Did she know?"
I looked over at Eden and smiled. "Yeah. She knew. She actually picked out her ring. Shortly before our anniversary, she made a big deal about how long we'd been together and said she was starting to feel like I'd never ask." I shook my head and turned my attention to the ceiling. "I didn't feel pressured at the time, but in retrospect, she was pretty much telling me to pop the question. She was right, though. We'd been together for eleven years-there really wasn't a reason for us to wait any longer."
"Why did it take you so long to ask?"
I shrugged, not fully knowing the answer. "I guess there had been so much going on I never felt the time was right. If I'm being honest … I still don't think the time was right when I asked, but it was what she wanted. So I gave it to her, because I'd promised I'd always do what was right by her."
"How were things after the cruise?" she asked, moving my memories along.
"We must've conceived that week. The following month, she informed me she was pregnant-I'll never forget that moment. I came home from work and found six positive pregnancy tests sitting on the counter in the bathroom in the shape of a heart. Time stood still for me. She was excited and I tried to be, as well, though I couldn't help but be terrified. I had just proposed to her, and the next thing I knew, we were having a baby. It took me a day to be excited, and from then on, I was looking forward to it as much as she was."
Eden reached over and wiped a tear from my cheek. I hadn't realized I'd started to cry. Then she took my hand in hers and squeezed it. The support she offered me was almost unbearable.
"The night she woke up covered in her own blood took all that excitement away. It also permanently took the life and smile from Gabi."
I removed my hand from hers and took a deep breath. There really was no way to pinpoint when things had gone wrong. No matter how much I thought about everything, I still couldn't decipher when the turning point was. All I knew was I'd lost a piece of her with each horrible circumstance, and there was no way of finding them again. I had lost pieces of myself as well and never thought I'd see them again, either.
Until Eden.
She gave me so much. More than she'd ever know.
It didn't matter how much I wished for our high school relationship again, it was never going to happen. And that's when I realized something. I was holding on to the parts of her that had long since been gone. I was merely waiting around for the impossible to happen.
"Did that help? Do you feel any better now that you've gone through all that?"
I took her hand in mine, and had to fight off the urge to link our fingers together.
"No."
9
"Do you believe things happen for a reason?" I questioned her, staring into her eyes.
She nodded slowly, then licked her lips and began to answer. "Yeah. I do. But I don't think we always know what those reasons are. I think sometimes things happen and we may suffer in order for something better to come along, but I don't believe we always know the good in every situation."
"What about people? Do you believe people come into our lives for a reason?"
"Absolutely. However, I don't believe they are always meant to stay. I think some people are brought to us for a momentary reason, to help us through a short-term problem. Very few last, and even less stick around for the long haul. I also don't believe everyone who comes into our lives with a purpose will serve it. Sometimes they end up leaving more destruction in their wake."
"Why do you think you came into my life?"
She giggled nervously. "I've already told you … to make your job easier."
"No." I shook my head and peered at her with my jaw set, no humor in my expression. "I'm being serious, Eden. If you had to take a guess … what purpose do you serve in my life?"
"I have no idea, Dane. I don't think that's something we ever really know. Speculation never does anyone any good. Assumptions are dangerous."
"I think you are here to help me see things differently. Over the past few weeks, I've realized so much about myself and my relationship. And the only reason I can come up with is you."
"Don't say that," she whispered as she scooted away from me.
"Why not? What's wrong with that?"
Eden brought her knees to her chest and closed in on herself. "Because it's not fair. If you walk away from your relationship, from your fiancée, especially after you just got done saying how you've stayed because she needs you … that'll make me the bad guy. Don't put that on me. I didn't do anything to you. I didn't do anything to make you want to leave Gabi. And if I did, I truly apologize for it."