I shake my head, unsure how I got myself into this.
“I don’t think that exists,” I tell her.
“Well¸ then, it should. You two would make a cute couple.”
I don’t bother to respond. Cute couple or not, I just don’t look at Brody that way. Maybe if we hadn’t been friends first, but we were and we are and I just can’t see risking it all for a chance that it could turn into something more. I have few enough people in my life as it is.
“What about this other guy, the one you’re seeing. Did you talk to him yet?”
“No,” I admit, “but I think it’s run its course.”
The looks she gives me is full of apologies. “That sucks, hun. You mentioned that it was complicated between you two. Like a forbidden thing? Does that mean you still have to see him around?”
“Every day.” And it doesn’t suck as much as I thought it would. I may not get to be as close to Ransom as I want to, but he hasn’t been completely cut from my life. I’m not sure if it would have been better to have a clean break, but this arrangement feels manageable. It’s better than nothing, anyway.
“Gah, I can’t even imagine. Isn’t that hard? I mean, do you ever feel like you’re going to lose your mind if you can’t touch him?”
All the time. “Not really. We weren’t in love or anything.” I might have been in love.
I really wish she’d drop the subject, but I can tell by the flashes of excitement in her eyes that Annie is just getting started.
“Okay, you know I have to ask,” she says, holding her hands up in front of her in a stop motion. “Do I know him?”
I pack what’s left of my salad into my mouth to bide me some time to think. Revealing my relationship with Ransom could be a bad idea. But then again, our relationship is past tense. How dangerous could it be? Plus, this is Annie we’re talking about here. Being my best friend, she’s bound by the laws of friendship to take my secrets to the grave.
I hesitate. “Um… kind of, yeah.”
Her eyes grow even wider and she leans over the table, her hands coming down to grip my wrists. “Oh…my…God. Tell me!” she whispers. “Is it the English professor? Professor Hale? He’s so hot. I break into a sweat every time I go to his class.”
TMI. I laugh uncomfortably because she’s closer to the truth than she realizes. “No, although, he is pretty sexy.” Professor Hale is only a couple years older than us and has dark brown hair, deep, soulful eyes, and a perpetual five o’clock shadow. Who wouldn’t love that combination?
“Heck yeah, he is!” She grows quiet again, her gaze holding mine as if she’s trying to pluck the information out of my head. Then she starts rattling off the names of every guy we’ve ever run into, from Billy, the bartender at DJ’s, to some guy I went out on one date with two years ago. When she’s exhausted all her options, her look turns pleading.
“Just tell me,” she hisses, desperate for information. “I swear on a stack of Holy Bibles I won’t tell a soul.” I sip my soda, making her tough it out a little longer. “If you’re not going to tell me, then please just shoot me and put me out of my misery.”
I laugh, and then decide what’s the worst that could happen? Leaning in, I make sure to keep my voice low so no one overhears us. “It’s…Professor Scott.”
“No!”
“Yes.” I nod.
“No way!”
“Yes way.”
She sits back, stunned for a few minutes, and now that the cat is out of the bag we let it marinate. Finally, she blinks a few times, takes a drink of her soda, and gives me a look that tells me I’m not going to like what she’s about to say. “I hope you know that you have to pose nude now.”
***
Annie is relentless. She’s buzzing in my ear every chance she gets about signing up for the nude art program. I’ll admit that I’m intrigued by the concept, and even briefly considered it a possibility, but the more she pressures me, the less sure I become.
What if I know someone there? The main reason I’ve been able to dance at all is because I’ve never run into anyone—save Ransom—that I know. The anonymity is crucial, which is the purpose of the type of lighting I’ve chosen. If it ever happens to chance that someone I do know is in the audience, at least I won’t know about it.
Annie’s push to get me to do this just reinforces that fear. If I pose, then someone is going to recognize me, whether from before or after the class. And then what do I do?
Yet, even though I’m resisting, I still don’t have the first clue what I’m going to do for my final project. To be honest, I haven’t even given it any serious thought. I won’t lie. Having one ready to go fall into my lap is tempting.