Damaged and the Beas(27)

Ignoring those thoughts, I enjoyed every kiss from Cooper, who even in the heat of his need didn't lose his stellar tongue work. Slow, teasing, thorough, he tasted me. So good, I wanted to go to his bed immediately before the fear returned.



       
         
       
        

"Cooper, please," I moaned when he nibbled at my ear.

"Stop?" he asked, looking at me. "What's wrong?"

"No, don't stop. I want to go to your room."

Cooper gave me his little boy lost expression while stroking my face with his fingers. "Why do you look like that then?"

"Like what?"

"Terrified."

"I'm nervous, but I want to go in your bedroom."

"Why?"

Frustrated, I ground my hips against his. "That's why."

"You look upset, though."

"I'm nervous. Please."

Cooper brushed my hair away from my face and then kissed me softly. "You're not ready."

"It's not your place to say that," I muttered.

"It is my place because I'm the one who will look at your face when we're together and know you're not really giving. I'm not sure why you're offering, but you don't want it," he said and then added, "Yet."

"I do."

"I sense your body does," Cooper said, grinning at my hard nipples and flushed face. "You're not ready, though. If we went into my room, I don't think things would turn out the way we want. Let's just play around and then watch a movie."

Touching his face, my fingers enjoyed the prickles on his jaw. Cooper was so beautiful, and I wanted to keep him. While I didn't know if sex would end our relationship or take it to a better level, I needed to know.

"Please," I whispered.

Cooper kissed my forehead and then shook his head. "No fucking way. You're not ready. I don't care if you've been with thousands or millions or billions of guys. You're not ready to be with me today. Don't you think if I thought you were that I'd have you in my bed naked by now? Trust me that saying no is killing me, but I want you to be happy, and I don't see a wall coming down when I look at your face. I see one going up. So no, Farah."

Leaning down, he sucked at my throat before speaking quietly in my ear. "Now, if you're interested in some heavy petting with a hint of dry humping then, fuck yeah, we can do that."

Caressing his still slightly damp hair, I sighed. "Yes, please."

A grinning Cooper kissed me, and we didn't stop for an hour. Finally, Cooper pried himself off of me and leaned back into the couch. Running his hands through his now dry hair, he gestured for me to come closer.

Cuddling up next to him, I rubbed my lips and smiled. It was rather sad how the human heart found so much self-worth from others, instead of from within. Cooper suddenly had complete control over whether I felt beautiful or ugly. Whether I was a winner or a loser. Whether I deserved to be happy or was kidding myself. 

"What movie do you want to watch?" he asked, wrapping his arms around me.

"I don't care."

Cooper turned on The Avengers, and we sat for another two hours cuddled up. When the sun was low in the sky, Cooper disappeared to find more food. Again we ate, but I pigged out less after eating so much earlier.

We didn't talk about anything important. Cooper seemed nervous and very careful with his words. I knew how he felt. After a trip to the bathroom to clean up, I was ready to go.

"Sure you don't want to swim again? We can go to the pool."

"Maybe next time."

Cooper exhaled softly. "There will be a next time, right?"

"If it's up to me, yes."

Giving me his cocky grin, Cooper wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we walked out. Soon, I was on the back of his bike, my arms becoming familiar with the feel of him.

After arriving at my apartment, we stood in front of the door for a minute, saying nothing. I suspected he wanted me to invite him inside, but I knew Amy was home by the sound of the TV.

"Wanna come back over tomorrow?" he asked.

"I have to work and study."

"I thought you didn't work weekends?"

"A girl wanted to take the day off, and I need to make extra money for … " I peeked back at the apartment door. When I turned back to Cooper, I whispered, "For Tawny to move here."

Sighing, Cooper glanced around all grumpy like and I waited for the bitching to begin. "What time are you working?" he asked, looking back at me. "I'll visit you."

"From ten to four."

"When will you have time to study?"

"Before and after."

"On Monday, I want you to sit next to me in the back. No front row crap."

"I like the front row."

"More than you like me?"

Frowning, I shrugged. "It's a toss-up, but I'll give the back row a try. The view's better."

"Hell yeah, it is."

I stepped closer. "My mom is inside, and I don't want to stay out here long. If you plan to kiss me goodbye and leave me wanting more, get to it."

Cooper stretched out his long leg, took one big step, and was against me. I stared up at him with fear and lust. As usual, Cooper looked beautiful, yet terrifying as if he were my salvation and doom wrapped into one tanned, muscular body.

His strong hands cupped my face and pulled me closer. I might still worry Cooper was faking his long-term interest in me, but I never worried if he was faking his attraction. Kissing me as if claiming me, Cooper was careful, though. I felt him holding back, and I appreciated this gesture. When I knew he was under control, I could let go and enjoy his affections.

Eventually, he pulled his lips away and then kissed me once more softly. Stepping back, he let out an unsteady breath. "I'm not going to say anything about my pants."

"You just did," I muttered, fanning my cheeks.

"Man, that was hot. I'm kissing you like that tomorrow on your break. Prepare to get overheated again, baby."

Cooper was giving me such a cocky grin that I had to mess with him. Placing a hand on his chest, I stared up into his eyes with my most earnest gaze.

"I'll miss you."

Yep, that worked. Cooper's smile faded, and he just stared full of longing. Less horny hunger, more all-encompassing desire. The kind of need I worried would destroy me.

"Don't tease," he whispered.



       
         
       
        

"I'm not. Well, I was, but I will miss you. I had a lot of fun today. Even more than at dinner."

Cooper gave me a soft smile. "I'm leaving before I fuck up and scare you off again."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Cooper's grin widened. "Make sure to wear that sexy uniform of yours, okay?"

Laughing, I rolled my eyes and reached for the doorknob. Yet I didn't go inside right away. Instead, I watched him walk away, knowing he knew I was watching. When he reached the front gate, Cooper turned and gave me a naughty wink.





Chapter Eleven


Sunday flew by faster than I anticipated. As soon as I got up, I called Tawny. She was still stuck in the motel, but Dad had returned for a few minutes to say they would be leaving soon. Even though I knew she was freaked out, my little sister mostly wanted to talk about Cooper and kissing. We had to keep the conversation short, but I gave her all of the juicy details.

Cramming a long list of required reading into the few hours before work, I didn't get very far. Amy wasn't around, so I used the buses to travel to work. I hadn't worked a Sunday in Ellsberg before, and it was completely different than the night shift. Table after table of customers and tons of tips, it was so busy I nearly missed when Cooper walked in with Maddy and Tucker.

Unlike his nightly visits to the restaurant, Cooper didn't stay for more than an hour. He did talk to the manager so I could get my break early. Those fifteen minutes consisted of Cooper taking me outside, pressing me against his truck, and kissing the living hell out of me. Trying to keep up, I even attempted to make my tongue do that slow, methodical tasting thing he did. Instead, I just got excited and sucked at his tongue while grabbing him tighter. Though I didn't improve my kissing skills, I was getting a whole lot more confident.

As bummed as I was when Cooper left, I returned to a very busy shift. I even picked up a few extra hours when a girl needed to come in late. By the time I headed to bed, I was a little behind on my schoolwork. I also missed both Cooper and Tawny but knew I would see him the next day. If I kept picking up extra shifts, it wouldn't be long before I saw my sister too.

On Monday, Skye was too busy to hang out. Eating alone, I saw Nick doing the same against a nearby tree. Thinking of how far behind I was with schoolwork, I joined him. We did the basic hellos and small talk and then I got to my point.

"Do you think you'd have time to study together? I'm having trouble keeping up."

Nick patted the ground next to him. "They had me work double shifts at the store over the weekend, so I didn't have time to do anything either."

After finishing our lunch, we spent the last few minutes before our next class going over an assignment. Nick might have been falling behind, but I got the sense I was even farther behind than him. A lot of what he said didn't register like it should. Once in our English Lit, I copied his notes from past classes. Not only were his notes more extensive; his penmanship was excellent. I could imagine him making a great teacher.