"You know?" I whispered. "Go to your apartment and be together."
"Oh, yeah, we're already doing that."
Frowning, I felt overwhelmed. I also felt lonely. Everyone knew their place, and I was the outsider. Always the outsider.
Cooper leaned down and whispered, "Wait, did you mean sex?" Grinning at me, he shook his head. "Sorry, but I'm not emotionally in the right place for that. You'll have to fix your pants problem yourself."
Even on edge, I laughed because he could be so silly when in the right mood. Cooper took my hand and pulled me to the stairs where we sat on a step and ate our food. Twice, he left and then returned with burgers and drinks. I was beyond stuffed by the time we finished eating.
Feeling comfortable enough to be a little daring, I leaned my head against Cooper's shoulder. He smiled at me and then glanced back at his noisy family. When his gaze returned to my face, he leaned down and kissed my forehead.
We sat quietly for a while, watching the dogs. Soon Cooper told me about each dog and how he learned to train them from his uncle, Vic. He said he liked Rottweilers, but his favorite dog was a mutt named Rafe. When he wasn't loud or horny, Cooper seemed just like any guy. Approachable and safe. Like Nick maybe. Except Cooper was mine for now.
After the food had settled, we walked hand and hand down the stairs of the deck and out towards the river. It wasn't a long walk, but we needed to take a winding staircase on the side of a hill. I didn't know how someone could have built it, but I'd never had an eye for those things. I just followed Cooper who paced his movements so I could keep up. When we arrived on a deck overlooking the river, Cooper released my hand and stretched.
"The river's current is slow as shit. No one gets pulled downstream. No one has ever drowned."
"I could be the first," I muttered.
"You're such a nerd," he said, caressing my hair. "A hot as hell nerd."
"So we walk down to the water and swim?" I asked, feeling uncertain about how to gracefully swim with living things floating around.
"No, you jump!" Bailey screamed from behind me. Shoving me forward, she started laughing. I staggered towards the edge and knew the momentum would take me over. Cooper caught me and pulled me back against him.
"Damn it, Bailey!" Cooper yelled. "You can't shove her in like that. She's scared."
"That's how you taught me to swim."
"If you want revenge, you push me, not her."
"Whatever," Bailey said, rolling her eyes as she jumped off the deck and disappeared into the water.
Cooper grunted. "She's feeling really fucking insecure today. I think Skye having a guy is making her into a bitch."
"Thanks for not letting me fall."
"You want to try jumping?" he asked, tugging me closer to the side. "It's not a long drop and the water is deep. You won't get hurt. Uncle Cylas is a huge guy, and he jumps off all the time without a problem."
I stared down at the water where Bailey swam around casually. When she glanced up at me, I waved as if I wasn't irritated with her for being a competitive bitch. Frowning, she waved back. Then her frown eased, and she smiled.
"You're good with her," Cooper said, smacking a mosquito on his arm.
"She just wants to feel special. Most people do."
"Don't you?" he asked, kissing the top of my head.
"No, I just want to be average. Normal."
Cooper said nothing and I glanced up to find his expression cranky.
"Average is shit," he finally said. "Why be normal when you can be more?"
"I want to dream of something I can actually get."
"You're gorgeous, hard working, hot, smart, and sexy. You have a lot going for you. You're patient too."
Smiling at his compliments, I was still nervous. "Can I ask a stupid question without you making fun of me?"
"Sure."
"Does it hurt when you hit the water?" I asked, looking down at the river.
"No, baby, it doesn't," he softly said, taking my hand. "Want to jump together? I'll make sure nothing happens to you."
Smiling, I looked at the water again. "New things scare me. It's stupid, but I'm afraid to jump."
"I promise I'll keep you safe. Do you trust me?"
Nodding, I felt like I might cry. All the anxiety from the day rushed up at this exact moment. The part of me that wanted to be safe said not to jump. Don't take chances. I could get hurt. Depending on Cooper was a mistake and he might fail me. What if I drowned and no one was there to help Tawny get away from the shit motels in the middle of nowhere? Don't jump, my brain screamed.
Tightening my grip on his hand, I swallowed hard. "Don't let me drown."
"You can swim, right?"
"In pools."
"I won't let go."
We walked to the very edge, and I stared at the water. It felt too far down. The impact was bound to hurt. I was too scared. In the distance, I heard Tucker whooping it up and knew he was on his way down. If he got there and were too loud, I'd chicken out.
"I'm ready," I said, looking up at Cooper.
He smiled softly as his dark eyes studied my face. "Let's break down another wall, baby."
We stepped off, and I panicked immediately. I even tried to brace my fall, but Cooper held my hand as we dropped into the warm dark water. The lack of light scared me again, but I felt Cooper pulling me back to the surface. Kicking my legs, I held onto him.
Cooper never let go. Not when we fell or when we kicked our way to the surface or even as we floated on the peaceful water. He held on, and I was safe.
Smiling at him, I glanced up at the deck. It didn't seem like such a big deal now, but I would have bailed if not for Cooper.
"Thank you," I said as he grabbed the inner tube Tucker threw down.
"I'll never let you go," he told me.
Soon, as we floated, I leaned over to kiss him. Cooper wrapped an arm around my waist and tugged me closer. The kiss deepened and I nearly let go of the inner tube. Cooper kept me afloat, though. When his lips left mine, we just watched each other while floating on the lazy waters. After a long few minutes had passed, I faced away from him.
"I like you," I said, leaning my head on the tube and still looking away.
"Why do you sound sad?"
"I didn't expect to meet anyone right away. I wasn't ready."
Cooper tapped my shoulder so I would look at him. When I finally did, he frowned. "Why do you need to be ready?"
"I just need to prepare for things. It's how I stay comfortable with life."
Cooper leaned his forehead against mine as we floated into deeper water.
"There's no preparing for me," he said and then grinned. "I don't even know what I'm doing from minute to minute. Could be worse, though. I could be Tucker."
Smiling, I glanced up at his brother who was preparing to cannonball into the water. Maddy didn't want to jump, though, and they were having a minor tiff. When I looked back at Cooper, I found him watching me in a weird way.
"I forget how you had nothing growing up, and every good little thing is a big deal. I need to remember that."
"Today is a really good thing," I said, blinking away the stupid tears. "It's unexpected is all. Moving here was so big for me and then I met you and it's a lot."
"I'll be patient," he nearly whispered. "I want you, Farah. I also want you to want me. I'm starting to get the hang of being with you."
"Maybe I'm too much effort?"
"No fucking way. It's just I normally get what I want five seconds after I want it. This is new, and I need to adjust. You're worth adjusting for."
I held the tube with one arm and then reached out and caressed his face. Tracing his lips, I couldn't believe how beautiful he looked under the late summer sun.
"After we swim a little more," I said, smiling confidently, "can we go to your apartment?"
"To talk about school and study?" he asked like a smartass.
"Among other things."
Cooper's grin turned tender. "You're even more beautiful when you relax. Like the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Right now, you look very relaxed."
"I've never done anything like this. The way you live. The comfort of it … " I paused, unable to explain. "Yes, I'm very relaxed."
"Hell yeah, you are."
"Hell yeah, I am."
Wiggling around in the water, Cooper groaned. "And these are loose shorts too, but it just doesn't help."
"Won't going to your apartment only make that problem worse?"
"Maybe, but it'll be worth it. I'm going to ruin you for other guys, remember?"
"Oh, I remember."
"But do you believe?" he asked with complete sincerity.
"That you're talented in bed? Oh, I believe alright."
"Asked around, have you?"
"No," I muttered, frowning now.
"You really don't get curious about me? I was curious about you right off the bat."
"I'm curious, but that doesn't mean I'll stalk you or hit up people for dirt. I don't know anyone around here, remember?"
"True," he said before dunking himself underwater. When he reappeared wet, shiny, and pretty damn irresistible, I smiled like I wasn't uncomfortable with how attractive I found him. "You want me," he said, grinning.