Ryker was staring at her, his blue eyes wide. He reached out and took her hand, giving it a squeeze. “Jesus Christ, Jenna. You must have been terrified.”
She nodded. “When Garrett forced me into the car and was driving too fast, yes, I was terrified. But I don’t remember much after the accident. I didn’t regain consciousness for three days. I needed to have four different operations, the first to remove the organs that were too badly damaged to repair, one of my kidneys, my spleen, and one of my ovaries. After that, I had another couple of operations to try to repair the skin and tissue. The metal of the car door basically sliced me in two, and there wasn’t enough savable skin to stitch me back together, so I needed grafts from other parts of my body.”
She wanted to cry. Ryker was looking at her with a pale face, tension in his neck and jaw. She thought he might be about to throw her out, but instead he got fully up onto the bed with her, knelt in front of her and pulled her into his arms. She found herself with her cheek against his bare chest, her arms around his waist, while he held her and kissed the top of her head.
He released her and sat back on his haunches. His eyes were glassy with unshed tears, and she realized with a jolt that he was upset for her.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” he said, his voice tight. “I hate that you had to experience such pain. It makes me furious, especially knowing the asshole who did that to you is out there somewhere, still making you afraid.”
“It’s the reason I’m so paranoid about germs,” she admitted. “It’s not because I’m OCD—or at least, it didn’t start that way, though I probably have a touch of it now. It’s because it’s dangerous for me to get ill. With only one kidney and no spleen, I’d end up back in the hospital if I got sick.”
Ryker nodded. “I understand.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Is this also the reason you won’t let me take off your top?”
She bit her lower lip and nodded, casting her eyes down in shame. “I have scars from the accident. They’re horrible and I don’t want you to see them.”
He looked at her intently, obviously considering his words. When he eventually spoke he did so softly. “Jenna, if you want to keep your t-shirt on because it makes you feel better, then that’s fine with me. I’ll take you, clothes or no clothes. I’m just happy to be with you. But if you think you’re comfortable enough with me to stay here in my bed and have sex with me, I would really love it if you let me see your scars. They’re a part of you now, and no part of you could ever be ugly.”
Her stomach turned at the idea of showing him the part of herself she hated the most. “I don’t know, Ryker.”
He pulled her back into his arms and tugged her down so they lay side by side on the bed. “You don’t need to make a decision now. Just stay here with me, okay?”
She gave a small smile and nodded. Ryker reached out again to touch her cheek, and then he was kissing her again, his mouth warm and firm against hers. Every part of her body relaxed and softened as his kiss grew deeper, his hands raking through her hair. Their legs tangled together, and she quickly discovered he still wanted her. And she wanted him, too.
I’ll show him, she decided. If he no longer found her attractive, she’d know soon enough.
With her heart thumping, she broke the kiss and reached to the bottom of her t-shirt. He understood what she was about to do, and pulled back slightly, giving her space. Taking another deep breath to settle her nerves, she pulled the t-shirt up and then awkwardly over her head, yanking her bra off with it.
Naked, except for her panties, she lay before him.
She was so conscious of the way her breasts squashed together, of the rolls of fat pressing against the mattress, of the expanse of her backside. But more than any of that, she was aware of the thick, twisted red and white scar that ran from the mid-point of her back, around her waist, to end right above her groin.
Ryker didn’t run. Instead, he moved in toward her again and lowered his mouth to her neck, teasing her skin with tiny nibbles, kisses and flicks of his tongue.
Jenna squirmed in delight.
He moved lower, his face level with her breasts. He took the huge mounds in his palms, gently massaging while he buried his face in their soft pillows. His lips found one of her large nipples and he took it into his mouth, grazing her pebbled flesh with his tongue and teeth. Her fingers laced in his thick, soft hair, her eyes slipping shut. His hand ran lower, his fingers trailing over the raised scars without so much as flinching. He reached the band of her panties and slid beneath. His hand moved down, between her thighs, and she opened up to him, allowing him access to her soft, wet heat. He lifted his mouth from her breast and stared into her eyes as he gently pushed a finger inside her.