She kissed Caroline’s sunken cheek. “I will. Sweet dreams, darling.”
She left the room and pressed a hand to her stomach for only a moment before she drew in a deep breath, squared her shoulders and walked outside into the sunshine.
* * *
“YOU CAN DO IT. I’ll hold the board in place and you just nail where I showed you.”
“What if I mess up?” Ethan asked, a glimmer of uncertainty in those clear, blue eyes.
“That’s the great thing about nails. We can always pull them out and start over,” Sam answered.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to ruin it.”
“You won’t. Look. Just hold the nail in one hand and the hammer in the other. That’s the way.”
“I did it!” his son exclaimed a few moments later when the support on the sagging arbor was firmly in place.
“Yes, you did. Now every time we come past this house, you can look at the arbor and the porch steps and remember how we fixed them.”
Ethan glowed with satisfaction. He was very proud of himself when he accomplished something he had once deemed hard. Sam envied that in his son, his ability to celebrate his successes instead of looking for the next mountain to climb.
He loved spending time with Ethan while they worked together on various projects around this small, trim house. Being in this close proximity to Alexandra, on the other hand, was another story. All morning, he had been aware of her working in the garden, her hair in braids and a big straw hat shielding her lovely features.
Though he tried not to stare, his attention had been drawn back to her again and again. He liked looking at her, but this was bigger than simply finding a woman beautiful. He loved the way she smiled at her friend and went up frequently to check on her, the way she teased Ethan at every opportunity, the way she brushed her hair back with her forearm to keep from smudging dirt on her face.
He had almost run the nail gun through his finger when they had been working on the porch, simply because she had stood and stretched, her hands at the base of her spine.
She had been inside with her friend for the past twenty minutes. He hoped everything was okay. Caroline didn’t look good. Before she sent him over here, Claire had told him the woman was dying from cancer.
After seeing Caroline, he recognized the signs from Kelli’s last days. She had the same pale cheeks, the same hollow eyes, and Sam knew she wouldn’t be enjoying this arbor he was fixing or the garden Alexandra so diligently cleared for much longer.
Alexandra would hurt when the other woman died. He wished he could protect her from the pain, absorb it onto his own shoulders somehow.
That’s what a man did when he loved a woman. Comfort her. Ease her sorrows.
He frowned. What good did it do him to be in love with her when she pushed him away at every turn?
“Can we have one of these arbors in our garden?” Ethan asked.
Right now they didn’t have much of a garden, just a weed patch that had been neglected for years, along with the rest of the house. “Sure. Maybe not this summer but someday. We’re going to be pretty busy with that awesome tree house.”
Once that would have filled him with satisfaction, the idea that he could make plans to build something in the future. He would have loved nothing more than knowing he could plant a tree in his yard tomorrow and be around to enjoy it for years to come.
Now he didn’t know what was happening to him. He was beginning to second-guess everything. He was very much afraid he wouldn’t be able to enjoy the house he had planned for, saved for, worked for. Not when he knew she was so close but emotionally on the other side of the galaxy.
Alexandra walked out of the house while he and Ethan were cleaning up the construction mess around the arbor. Her hat still rested on the porch chair and he could see her features clearly. The pain in her eyes, the grim knowledge that her friend was dying, reached out and punched him in the gut.
She grabbed her hat and just stood there on the porch, staring out at the garden without moving. Finally he left his son and walked up the steps they had just repaired.
“How is she?” he asked quietly.
Alexandra turned to look at him, her expression haunted. “I’m sure she’ll be just fine. She just needs a little rest. Being out in the sun was too much for her.”
“That’s probably it.” He was lying and both of them knew it.
“I’m still calling the hospice nurse.”
She sank down on the rocking chair where Caroline had been sitting and pulled out her cell phone. Sam knew he probably ought to finish up here and head over to the next job Claire had given him but he couldn’t seem to make himself move. Alexandra needed him, whether she wanted to admit it or not.