Cruel Beauty(50)

“Yes,” said Ignifex, “this is the Heart of Earth.”

I blinked at him. “What’s that?”

“Oh, don’t bother looking innocent. I could draw your sigils for you.”

“Then why did you bring me here?”

“It’s pretty.”

“You don’t think our plan will work.”

“I’d give it rather low odds.”

I leaned forward, hoping that for once his gloating temperament would be useful. “Why not? Explain to me how I’m stupid, husband.”

He poked my nose. “You’re not stupid and neither is your plan. But the Heart of Air is utterly beyond your reach. And your people have not even begun to grasp the nature of this house.”

“Then tell me.” I tilted my head. “Or are you scared?”

“No,” he said placidly, and abruptly dropped to the ground, resting his head in my lap. “Tired.”

I swallowed. The easy comfort of the gesture touched me in a way his kisses had not. I couldn’t understand why he kept acting like he trusted me.

“I had a long night,” he added, looking up at me from under his lashes.

“I told you I’m not sorry,” I growled.

“Of course not.” He smiled with his eyes shut.

“You deserve all that and more. It made me happy to see you suffer. I would do it all over again if I could.” I realized I was shaking as the worlds tumbled out of me. “I would do it again and again. Every night I would torment you and laugh. Do you understand? You are never safe with me.” I drew a shuddering breath, trying to will away the sting of tears.

He opened his eyes and stared up at me as if I were the door out of Arcadia and back to the true sky. “That’s what makes you my favorite.” He reached up and wiped a tear off my cheek with his thumb. “Every wicked bit of you.”

Nobody had ever looked at me like that, and certainly not after seeing the poison I kept locked up inside. Not even Shade, because I had always tried to be kind to him.

I nearly kissed Ignifex again, but I knew that if I did now I would never stop. I would never be able to fight him, and I owed it to Astraia, Shade, Mother, the whole world to break this creature’s power.

So I shoved him off my lap and stood, because if I held him any longer, I didn’t know if I would be able to betray him.

“More fool you,” I said. “I’m going to keep looking for a way to stop you.” And I strode out through the door before he could say another word.





15


I spent most of the day in my room, trying to nap. I planned to be up exploring the whole night, and I wanted to be as alert as possible, so I could avoid any more disasters.

But sleep did not come easily. One thought snaked around and around my head: I kissed him. Not against my will, not for the sake of my mission, but simply because I desired it, I had kissed the monster who governed our world.

He took wives on the orders of his masters. They wanted him to know that he could never be free. They had burnt the holes in the sky, and they let the demons—Children of Typhon—ravage people against his will.

If he was telling the truth. I wanted to believe him, but every story I’d ever heard agreed he was a deceiver. And even if Ignifex was less evil than I’d thought—even if he was, in some mad fashion, as innocent as Shade—that still did not excuse me.

Last night I had kissed Shade. Last night he had as good as said that he loved me, and I had thought I loved him in return. When I thought of him—his rare smiles, his gentle kindness, the peace in his touch—I still wanted him.

I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow. The sunlight’s warmth had faded from my hair, but I could still remember it burning across my back. I could almost feel the heat of Ignifex’s body beneath mine. I wanted him too.

What kind of woman was I?

Eventually I fell asleep. I woke, heavy-eyed, with hair smashed into my face, and went to dinner on my own so that Shade wouldn’t summon me. I didn’t think I could bear to see him yet. Ignifex did not arrive at the dinner table, which was odd, but I ate in silence and decided that the more he ignored me, the better. Then I went back to my room to wait for nightfall.

“Aren’t you going to wear a nightgown?”

I whirled and saw Ignifex leaning against the doorframe. Once again, he wore the dark silk pajamas.

“I was hoping for lace,” he went on, “but surely you could manage something sheer at least. I put plenty in your wardrobe.”

“What are you doing here?” I demanded, gripping one of the caryatid bedposts. It didn’t matter how much I had reproached myself earlier that day; I wanted to close the distance between us.