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Crouching Buzzard, Leaping Loon(98)

By:Donna Andrews


“You’ve been playing Lawyers from Hell,” she said. “I can tell. Everyone plays that damned game for an hour or two and thinks they know my job better than I do after three years of law school and four years of practice. Do you have any idea how hard law school was?” , “Yes, I heard all about it from Rob,” I said. “He - “

“Rob!” she shouted. “He thinks he had it tough! Your parents paid his tuition, all his expenses. I had to work my way through college and law school. Do you think he has any idea what that was like? Any idea what I had to do?”

    Something occurred to me - I remembered that on Ted’s blackmail list, the Ninja’s name had a note: “xxx pix.”

“No, but Ted knew, didn’t he?” I said. “The pornographic pictures, right?”

    A long shot - but it hit home. Maybe a little too close to home.

“They were not pornographic pictures!” she shrieked. “I did an exotic dance act, period. They were publicity photos. Nothing more than that, no matter what Ted tried to insinuate.”

“Still, it’s not something you wanted people to find out about here on the East Coast, now that you’re trying to make a name in your new profession,” I said. “It’s understandable that you’d resent him trying to drag all that up. Use that. I bet you could make it a feminist cause if you play your cards right.”

“Oh, instead of the Twinkie Defense, we have the Pasty Defense?”

“The Twinkie Defense worked in the Dan White case,” I reminded her. I refrained from mentioning that I knew this from playing Lawyers from Hell.

“Not entirely,” she said. “He was still convicted. Of a lesser charge, but it was still a felony. You can’t practice law if you’ve been convicted of a felony. I am not going to let this ruin my life. I worked too hard to get where I am.”

“Your career means so much that you’re willing to kill for it?” I asked.

“It wasn’t just my career,” Liz said. “It was for the good of the company. Ted was plotting something. Why do you think he was trying to blackmail people - not just me, but anyone he could manage. He was trying to get enough power to pull off something really big.”

    Maybe, I thought, but that sounded more like Liz thinking than Ted. I had a feeling the only thing Ted wanted to accomplish with his blackmail scheme was causing trouble. But I didn’t think telling her that would be a good idea.

“Then use that,” I suggested. “If you reveal what he was up to, I bet you can manage a plea bargain that doesn’t even include a felony. But if you kill anyone else, you can’t possibly get away with it.”

“Just watch me,” she said. “After I - “

“Police! Drop your weapon and put your hands up!”





    Liz froze - she didn’t drop the gun, but she didn’t do anything desperate, either, like whirl and begin blasting at the police. Which was a good thing. The voice had come from behind her back, but I could see that the figure standing in the library doorway wasn’t the chief or any of his men. It was Michael. And my eyes were sufficiently adjusted to the low light that I could tell the object he was aiming at her wasn’t a gun - it was his cell phone. I only hoped he’d turned it off before he drew it - even the most distraught homicidal maniac would be suspicious of a cop whose weapon began caroling Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy” in the middle of a shootout.





“I said drop your weapon and - “





“Aaaaiieeeee!”





    With a bloodcurdling shriek, a figure leaped out of the shadows and attacked Michael with a series of swift kicks and blows. Liz leaped out of the way as the two of them came sprawling into the library. Michael ended up flat on his stomach with the breath knocked out of him. But apparently he’d managed to land at least one well-aimed blow. His assailant was curled up in a fetal position with his hands between his legs. The cell phone landed a few feet from Michael’s head and began tinkling out the “William Tell Overture.”





“Oh,” the assailant groaned. “I hate it when that happens.”





“Rob?” I said, recognizing the voice. “Is that you, Rob?”





    Michael couldn’t speak yet, but he growled.





“Get your hands up,” Liz ordered.





    Rob put one hand up while the other continued to clutch his groin. Michael began raising his hands. Liz jumped to the conclusion that he was reaching for the cell phone.