“Here,” I said, quickly pulling out several tissues from the box on the reception desk and handing them to her. If I were a better person, I thought, I’d go over to hug her, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to try. She patted her eyes carefully, trying to soak up the tears before they hit her makeup, then blew her nose vigorously and held the used tissues back to me. I blinked at them, then picked up the wastebasket and held it up so she could deposit them.
“Sorry,” she said.
“It’s okay,” I said.
“This is very embarrassing,” she said. “In my situation.”
“If you don’t love the guy anymore, why keep beating your head against the wall,” I said, shrugging.
“It’s not that I don’t love him,” she said. “I do. But he doesn’t meet my needs.”
I was fishing for information, I admit, but this was way too much information.
She must have deduced my reaction from my face. “My emotional needs,” she added.
“I see,” I lied.
“He’s just not romantic enough,” she explained. “He’s very intelligent and reliable. We have a very honest, healthy relationship. But he has… no imagination. No sense of play. Not a hint of romanticism.”
I stifled the urge to giggle, remembering some of the more purple passages in Anna Floyd’s books. And wondered whether or not I should reveal her husband’s secret. Would it rescue their marriage? Or was his lack of romanticism only an excuse she could replace in a heartbeat with being dishonest, impractical, and a male chauvinist pig.
What the hell. But she’d never believe me if I told her. I pulled open the drawer and snagged one* of the Anna Floyd books. Under it lay the unfinished Anna Floyd manuscript. The first page had Anna Floyd’s address - a post office box in a nearby town - and e-mail address:
[email protected]. I grabbed a pen and jotted the e-mail address on the inside front cover of the book.
“Here,” I said, holding out the book. “You should talk to the author.”
Dr. Lorelei stiffened and backed away a step. “I really don’t see what I would have to say to her,” she began.
“It’s a him, using a female pseudonym,” I said. “I jotted his e-mail address inside.”
“And why would I want to talk to him?” she said, backing up a few more steps.
“I think you’ll find he has some useful insights on relationships,” I said. “He might have some advice you’d find useful.”
“I know you mean well,” she said, backing away. “But I really don’t think you understand.”
With that, she fled toward her office.
So much for trying to help the lovelorn, I thought. I dropped the book on the desk and answered a ringing line.
I tried to call Michael’s cell phone several times before I left the office. No answer. I left a message at his hotel. Then I went home and repeated the process several times. Dammit, if he was going to sulk this long just because I resented his trying to order me around… I’d settle things with Michael tomorrow. After I finished skulking around the office one more time. I put on my skulking clothes, made sure the black light was in my purse, and then, realizing that 6:30 was a little early to reappear at the office, lay down on the sofa to kill an hour or so leafing through Mother’s latest decorating tome.
It was past midnight before I woke up again. I just don’t get this nap thing. I was sweaty from the stuffy air of the Cave, and more tired than before, thanks to nightmares of being chased down the halls of the office by bolts of flowered chintz. And while I knew the picturesque patterns ironed into my cheek by the tufted sofa fabric were unlikely to be permanent, I really hated having to go out of the Cave looking as if I’d gotten a Braille tattoo. Even if the only people likely to notice were any Mutant Wizard staff with nothing better to do than hang around the office after midnight.
As I strolled over to the office, I realized that I was getting rather used to prowling about Caerphilly in the wee small hours. I knew when to cross the street to avoid yards with overgrown shrubbery in which muggers or shoelace-hating cats might lurk. I knew that exactly in the middle of a particular block, a large fierce-sounding dog would begin barking when he heard my footsteps and persist until an irritated, sleepy voice called out, “Shut up, Groucho!” I knew that at some point along the route, a streetlight would buzz and go dark as I approached it, and even though I knew that it was probably due to a burned-out bulb or a malfunctioning photoelectric cell, I would, as usual, wonder if my body had undergone some strange mutation and now gave off streetlight-killing rays. And when a police car passed by the end of the block, I would make an extra effort to look relaxed and nonchalant, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to be strolling about town after midnight in dark pants, a dark shirt, and black Reeboks. Just another hardworking cat burglar on her daily commute.