Crouching Buzzard, Leaping Loon(16)

“You don’t say,” the chief said, looking over his glasses at me.

“I should go into a little more detail?”

“You should go into a lot more detail if you want me to understand it.”

“Want us to explain it, Meg?” I heard Frankie say with characteristic enthusiasm.

    I glanced over to see several heads peering out of the stairwell doorway. I gathered that the police had forbidden anyone to step out into the hall, since none of them could possibly see much from the doorway - with the possible exception of Frankie, who by standing on one leg and raising the other behind him for balance, had managed to cantilever his entire body out into the hallway without breaking the letter of the law.

“Sure,” I said. “Why not?”

    Why not became quite apparent after Frankie had been talking a few minutes. I was sure another programmer would find Frankie’s explanation fascinating - the heads peering out of the stairwell seemed to, at any rate - but the chief’s eyes were glazing over. Hell, my eyes were glazing over, and I already knew how to play. Why couldn’t Frankie just say that Lawyers from Hell lets you pretend to be a lawyer and defend or prosecute the accused in a growing library of simulated trials?

“Frankie?”

    I wasn’t the only one relieved to see Jack Ransom stepping out of the stairwell.

“Go see Luis, would you?” Jack said.

“But I’m explaining Lawyers from HeU to the chief,” Frankie said.

“That’s okay,” the chief said, quickly. “I think I understand it now.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Jack said.

    Frankie retreated to the stairway, looking crushed. Jack and the chief sized each other up.

“Ever played any computer games?” Jack asked.

“No,” the chief said. “Seen my granddaughter play one where this little cartoon character on the screen kills trolls and dragons.”

    Jack nodded.

“Same thing,” he said. “Instead of trolls and dragons, we’ve got lawyers, but it’s pretty much the same.”

“My granddaughter spends hours on that fool thing,” the chief said. “She’d play all night if we didn’t make her stop.”

“That’s typical,” Jack said.

“And people do this for fun,” the chief said, musing.

“Millions of them, yes,” Jack agreed.

“Takes all kinds,” he said, shaking his head. “Why don’t they just go to law school if they’re that interested in trials?”

    Jack shrugged.

“That takes three years and a pile of money,” I said. “You can buy the basic Lawyers from Hell game for thirty-nine ninety-five and learn how to play it in an evening. In three months, if you really work at it, you can become the game equivalent of Clarence Darrow.”

“I still don’t see how it’s fun,” the chief said.

    Obviously the chief was not a potential customer.

“So what does it look like, anyway?” he asked.

“We can show you,” Jack said. “If we can go to one of the computers, that is.”

“Please,” the chief said, holding open the side door and nodding to the officer loitering inside.

    Jack and I followed, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Frankie scuttle out of the stairway to trail after us. I led the chief to the nearest cube and leaned over the computer to start Lawyers from Hell. Every computer in the office had the game on it, of course - some of them had multiple versions, including experimental prototypes of proposed new features. When the welcome screen came on, I punched the key combination that would run the demo - a little awkwardly, since I had the mouse in my right hand and had to use one of the fingertips that protruded slightly beyond the bandage on my left hand. Then I stepped aside so the chief could see it.

“This is what it looks like in the trial phase,” I said.

    He watched for a few minutes. One eyebrow went up, and his eyes widened. Ffankie’s head and shoulders popped into sight over the partition that separated this cube from the next. From the height he’d achieved, I suspected he was kneeling on someone’s desktop.

“Pretty strange,” the chief said.

    I leaned over so I could see the screen and winced.

“Oops,” I said. “I typed that wrong; I’m still awkward with this hand. That’s not the real version. It’s an unauthorized version someone cooked up. Nude Lawyers from Hell.”

“Oh, great,” Jack muttered.

    Frankie snickered.