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Crouching Buzzard, Leaping Loon(13)

By:Donna Andrews


“Oh, do you think this is a deductible expense?” Rob said, looking cheerful. “Cool. Don’t worry; I’ll take care of it. And I’m sure someone down in the parking lot will see the cat and catch her.”

    The chief and I watched as Rob went back to the stairs, performing the Crouching Buzzard kata along the way.

“Knows karate, does he?” the chief remarked.

“Well… ,” I began.

“Meg, what’s going on?” Liz said, appearing in the room. “The officer assigned to the back door ran away and left it unguarded. I’ve got your father watching it now.”

“Sorry, Chief,” one of the officers said, and hurried away.

“Cheer up,” I said to Liz, who looked a little frazzled. “At least with all the police on the premises, you don’t have to worry about any of our auspicious characters hanging around.”

“Suspicious characters?” the chief said. “Is that another joke, or have you really had people hanging around?”

“Yes, we’ve had people hanging around,” Liz said. “One in particular worries me - an employee who was terminated three weeks ago.”

“Terminated?” the chief asked. “As in fired, right?”

“If she meant terminated as in killed, we wouldn’t be worrying about him,” I said.

“Dismissed from our employment, yes,” Liz said, frowning at me. She obviously thought her official, corporate demeanor was called for under the circumstances, instead of the more down-to-earth person she could be off duty. “He had to be escorted from the premises when we released him, and he’s called several times to make vague threats to pet even with us.”

“You think he could be dangerous?” the chief asked.

    Liz thought for a moment. “I’m more inclined to think he intends some legal action,” she said finally.

“I thought you said he had absolutely no grounds whatsoever for any legal action,” I put in.

“No; he doesn’t,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean he won’t try to find an attorney to take his case. And it would be annoying to have him running up our legal expenses with a nuisance suit. But at least as long as he’s thinking about legal remedies, he’s not taking any other, more violent action. Although from what I’ve found out, I think the concern over his interest in guns is exaggerated.”

“Interest in guns?” the chief said, looking interested himself.

“There was a rumor going around the office that he was a somewhat overzealous gun enthusiast,” she said. “He has a gun permit, true; but he’s also taken out a hunting license during deer season for the last several years, so I don’t think his gun ownership is as ominous as some people think.”

“Still, we’d like to check him out,” the chief said. “Let us have his name and contact information.”

    Liz nodded.

“We can get you a copy of his personnel file if you like,” I said.

“My desk sergeant mentioned that you reported a trespasser last week,” the chief said. “Was he the one?”

“No,” I said. “It was one of the fans. The really obnoxious one,” I added to Liz.

“The one who tried to pass herself off as a copier repair person?” Liz asked.

“I hadn’t heard about that one, but probably.”

“Fan?” the chief asked. “What do you mean by fan?” * “A gaming fan,” I explained. He still looked blank. Apparently I needed to start further back.

“Mutant Wizards makes games,” I said.

“Interactive multimedia entertainment,” liz corrected.

“Computer games,” I continued. “Three or four of them, though the only one anyone ever pays much attention to is our one phenomenally successful game called Lawyers from Hell.”

“Lawyers from Hell,” the chief said with a guffaw. “Damn! You sure got that - “

    Liz sighed. The chief started.

“I mean that sure is a peculiar title for a game,” he finished, rather awkwardly.

“It’s a peculiar game,” I said. “My brother invented it. Anyway, the reason you had so much trouble clearing the staff out of here so you could investigate is that we’re on a very tight deadline to release a new game.”

“A new version,” liz said.

“Right, new version - the aptly though unoriginally titled Lawyers from Hell II. It’s going to be bigger, better, more exciting, more complicated, more realistic, more imaginative, more everything than the original Lawyers from Hell. Mutant Wizards has been saying that for months now. But we haven’t given out any specific details about how it’s bigger, better, et cetera. And mat’s driving the fans nuts.”