I didn't want to listen to her trite apology but I shrugged my agreement. Short of physically dragging her toward the door and shoving her through it, I knew she wouldn't leave until she appeased her conscience.
"I'm sorry, Mia, for everything. For being a jealous bitch that you found happiness with a guy in such a short space of time. For wanting to hurt you as much as you hurt me for blowing me off. For deliberately setting you up …" She shook her head and a lone tear rolled down her cheek. "I left a note for Kye, saying you'd meet him at the pool house, and I did the same to you. I wanted you to see me come onto him."
Anger churned my gut as she continued. "Kye didn't even know I was there. He was waiting for you, lying on a lounger, eyes closed. I hid 'til I saw you approaching the pool house and I jumped his bones."
Her breath hitched in a part-sob, part-hiccup, and my fingers curled into fists so I wouldn't strangle her.
"He pushed me off straight away, but I'd achieved what I set out to do when I saw you standing there … fuck, I'm so sorry." She absentmindedly shredded tissues, twisting them into tiny pieces. "People have ignored me my whole life. Friends, family, but never you. That's why I used to act like I put out so much in high school, to get noticed. But you were the only person who saw the real me, who paid me any attention. And when you didn't I kinda snapped." She made crazy circles at her temple. "It's no excuse, I know, but I wanted you to know you're the only person I can really depend on in this world and I'd never deliberately hurt you if I was thinking straight."
"But you did hurt me." I leaped off the bed and stood, towering over her. "Don't you get it, Dani? You've crossed a line. I trusted you and now we can't ever go back. And you've screwed my relationship with Kye in the process."
Damn, the tears I'd been holding in stung the back of my eyes. Pressing the pads of my fingers to my eyes, I murmured, "Just go."
I could hear her sobs but I couldn't bear to look at her. Thanks to Dani, I'd run out on Kye. I'd believed what I'd seen and hadn't believed enough in him. Or myself. What we'd had was real and I'd allowed Dani to tarnish it.
"Look, there's nothing you can say that can mend our friendship so please leave—"
"I lost the baby."
Dani had spoken so softly I could've sworn I must've imagined her whisper.
I lowered my hands and opened my eyes, to find her staring at me with a bleakness that stabbed me in the chest.
"That's what the nurse said. 'You've lost the baby'." She grimaced, as if in pain. "Like I'd ever lose something, someone, so precious."
Stunned, I sank onto the floor in front of her. I wanted to ask a billion questions but waited for her to continue. She looked like she was in a trance, reciting the truth like an automaton.
"That's why I couldn't come here with you." She gestured around the room. "I wanted to attend college with you so badly, but I got pregnant. Didn't tell my flaky folks, not that they would've noticed 'til I was about to deliver anyway."
Her legs unfolded and she stretched them out in front, rested her hands in her lap now she'd finally stopped massacring tissues. "I was happy, truly happy, for the first time in my life. I thought a baby would fill the emptiness I've always felt. You know my parents. You know the life I've led. Glamorous on the outside, fake on the inside. A baby would've been all mine, would've had to pay me attention …"
I wanted to say something but had no idea what. Dani's revelation had floored me, and semi-cracked the barriers I'd erected around my heart.
That had been the start of the end for us, when she'd decided not to come to college with me and made up that lame excuse about having the flu. Deep down, I'd never forgiven her and we'd been drifting apart ever since.
Knowing the truth, the explosive truth, went some way to healing the rift.
"You were always my voice of reason, Mia. My adorably strait-laced best friend. And that's why I didn't tell even you." She blinked as more tears fell. "Because I was scared you'd talk me out of keeping the baby. Because I was terrified you'd say all the logical things I probably needed to hear and I'd end up resenting you for it."
She puffed out a long breath. "So I didn't tell a soul. Then I miscarried at twelve weeks. And I spent the next three years trying to numb the pain by partying hard and sleeping around and doing too many dumbass things."
Dani knuckled her eyes, before her gaze locked on mine with startling clarity. "What I did to you? Trying to hurt you by ruining your relationship with Kye? It's the last straw. I've been on a downward spiral for too long. Losing this?" She waved her hand between us. "Losing us? Has made me realize I need to stop. So I'm leaving. Going overseas for a while. Anywhere but LA, so I can get my shit together."